Is it just a missing void I'm missing?

[Baurman]

So I woke up this morning late, around 2pm and I just felt super depressed. My whole 4th of July is basically me doing nothing but staying in my room and I feel so pathetic. As much as I feel like calling my Ex, I'm trying to ask myself WHY? Why am I even having urges to talk to her for when I don't even want her back in a relationship because of how mean she is. I have come to realize that, maybe it's not HER that I'm missing.... but I'm missing the fact that I'm not in a relationship anymore? Is it this "missing void" that I am wanting back that doesn't even exist anymore? I think that I Just want a girl to hang out with and talk stories too, but since I can't do that with my Ex anymore. I feel the empty hole missing. I'm just trying to figure out why I have urges to call her and tell her I miss her -- when in REALITY.... when I was with her, I was unhappy. We fight every time we talk on the phone over the smallest things. Why do I still want to contact her even though I know nothing good will come out of it? Is it just my Pride that is damaged that she broke up with me and I can't get over that? I deactivated my Facebook so I didn't have to look at her updates, but I find myself constantly logging back in just to see her wall which is really prolonging my healing process, but that's another thing I DON'T know why I do. :sad:

[Kinkz]

Yeh its natural to miss those who have gone. Don't contact her if its not her you miss but what you had. Also, if its her who dumped you - why would you even want her back again - unless you have feelings for her, then its understanable.

[Baurman]

i know kinkz... the reality is that i want to get over her so i don't have the feeling of wanting her back. she has treated me like crap over this break up and is just making me hate her. that's why I'm confused... I don't think I want her back.... I keep thinking that I just want a relationship back. I did have feelings for her when she dumped me, and I begged for her back, then went into NC for 2 weeks until she called me up had sex with me and then I got attached again and now I'm back into NC. Emotions seem so evil!! While we were in the relationship I always criticized her because she made a lot of mistakes and *I* was the one who wanted to break up with her because we argued about everything and we were just together, but I guess I just never did it because I didn't want to be alone and rather settle with having a not so perfect relationship just to have someone in my life. Now that I'm alone I guess I am just feeling sad that I don't have that person to hang out with and joke with like I did with my Ex. And that's the fantasy that I'm missing, because I sure as hell know if I met up with my Ex now, she isn't that same person that I had fun with.... she's changed, and now she even admitted to me that she's enjoying the single life and only cares about herself and what she wants, she doesn't care about anyone else. So how come it's so hard for me to get over this selfish girl!?

[Kinkz]

Well I think you are over her but maybe your pride isn't over it yet because like you said, she made you feel like crap so a part of you hates her for this. Hate is a type of feeling, you have to stop feeling anything for her, even hate. Try to stop hating her and be logical. If she's enjoying her single life, then you should enjoy yours too, meet new people. Soon you will forget her.

 

And no sleeping with her, especially if it makes you attached again.