will I ever find someone?

[ndl24]

Here is my question/story. I've always had this fear of dying alone and never getting married, etc. I've dated a few guys but only for a few weeks at a time. But I have this constant nagging feeling that I'm never going to find someone. I met this guy two weeks ago while on vacation, but I feel like a long distance thing isn't a good idea. I just see everyone with someone and I feel alone. How can I get over this and why do I feel this way? Please help!

[Alec]

Oh don't worry your 18 and i'm sure about to go off to college. You'll find someone I promise you. Everyone has that fear at some time or another, unless you are anti-social. But regardless, hang in there, i'm sure everything will work out if you really want some immediate action try going dancing with some friends maybe you'll meet someone there, that's how I met mine. But if that's not up your alley just iono try going somewhere where you might meet someone new.

[JonnyG]

Reinforcing what the post above said. U are only 18. And u have been out with quite a few guys (if only for a few weeks). So it looks fairly obvious u are going to be going out with quite a few guys over the next load of years. In this time u will probably meet someone who gives u that spark u need, and vice versa, and then u won't be lonely anymore, but happily together with someone.

 

Im 22, im single at the mo, I havent had loads of relationships, and of the ones i have had, none have been really serious, apart from perhaps my last ex who i feel very strongly for (but again it never got too serious between us because we hardly spent much time together, its just she gave me that spark so i feel very much gutted im not with her at the mo), but she is with her ex, and i dont know if it would work between us anyway as she is 8 and a half years older than me. There are many other people my age and older who are single. But the vast majority of us will be with someone at some stage during our lives. Its not so much a question of if, but when.

[piscesprincess]

You are an idealist, like I was and still am!

 

I did not meet the love of my life until I was 20 (three years ago). I too was always searching. Most of my good girl-friends had been in longterm relationships. I was known as the single one who like to hook up (I never slept around, though). One of those friends set me up on a blind date with a co-worker (to a wedding of all occasions). It was love at first sight

 

I take it that you are sensitive/emotional/dreamer- There is a Prince out there: he may not be the most charming or perfect (no one is flawless, remember). It truly breaks my heart to read your post b/c I know that there is someone special out there for you.

 

In fact, that's what people would say to me. then I told my sigle friends. And you know what, 2 of them got engaged before me & they are very happy in love. So, just keep faith.

 

Also, think to yourself: we are born alone, so we will inevitably die alon- you can't take you lover(s) to the grave with you!

[wlfpack81]

Oh don't worry your 18 and i'm sure about to go off to college. You'll find someone I promise you.

 

Yea oh "insert my name here" (won't tell you my real name for personal reasons obviously) you're just 12 you'll meet someone, oh you're 18 you'll meet someone. Well I'm freaking 23, still never had a date, g/f, kissed a girl, talked on the phone romantically with a girl and obviously had no sexual relations of any kind (oral etc.) with a girl. So don't listen to these fools who tell you not to worry b/c you're young. Time flies and unless you do something not to end up like me (I'm behind help) you'll die alone b/c I know I'll probably die alone (if I even make it to 25yrs old). If you had deathly/extreme shyness like I do you'd find it's not easy to just freakinbg meet someone!!!!!!!!!!

[hurtbylove]

Nah, that's not true.

 

I'm a really shy person and I ended up having a first relationship at 20. Of course things didn't work out or else I would be spending all my time with her but some girls are willing to give you a chance. Even if you are really shy.

 

A lot of them are understanding about shyness, but you have to know that you also have to make "some" effort to let them know how you feel!

[piscesprincess]

Look, my current b/f of 3 years did not meat me until he was 25, but unlike you, he has had dates...true, nobody can put an agae on when someone will find love.

 

However, if you continue thinking this way, you will be alone. maybe you are depressed...seek some medical attention or talk to someone you know who cares and will listen.

[wlfpack81]

I'm beyond help, plus while my parents my have a slight surface idea of my lack of self confidence and shyness (in fact we've touched on ti a few times) they have no idea how bad I really feel. You think I'd risk telling how bad it is now as well as risk losing my job if this crap got out. You must be kidding yourself.

[JonnyG]

Dam wlfpack81, u seem really down about girls. Things aint working out great for me, whenever i see a girl i really like things always mess up, things that arent in my control and its nothing i have done wrong, just bad luck.

 

I know how u feel with time. When i was 16 i was like really wanting a gf, and mum dad were telling me i was only 16. Well 6 years have flew by and i dont feel that much greater. Yes i have pulled quite a few girls over those years, but ive only gone out with a couple of girls, and only for small amounts of time, and then things have messed up as i mentioned above due to reasons like they live in another country, or they want their ex back. Well the nx 8 years will probably go as quick as the last 6, and i want to be married by 30, so i best get my skates on as well.

 

I do sympthzize with u. Im really down about my love life myself these days, but i try to remain confident that there is someone out there that i will truly love and she feels the same way.

 

U need to get that confidence up. Find ways to improve yourself. Get to the gym, tone that body up, tan yourself this summer, go out and socialize more, join clubs etc. Just improve yourself physically and mentally. This will help improve your attraction to girls.

[speardane]

wlfpack 81,

 

Have you ever tried an anti-depressant? I'm genuinely curious.

[wlfpack81]

haha no I haven't.. I've been drinking tonite and unfortunately it hasn't had the calming effect I wanted it too. However, seriously I am generally beyond help on this shyness issue and I know I won't change, so I have to find something to take my mind of girls be it alcohol, or some other hobby. Of course it seems alcohol isn't going to be that best option.

[speardane]

wlfpack,

 

no one is beyond help at 23 years old. you oughta seriously consider trying an anti-depressant. you can't imagine how well they can work if you've never tried them. what have you got to lose?

[piscesprincess]

Stop this pity party you are throwing..if girls "look at you" like you say, get off your tpwer and greet them.

 

God puts us here for a reason. Maybe you need a psychic (talk about past life). Everyone is trying to help w/optimism. You are just too low for repair...I guess and will risk losing everything (your words.) Let go!

[wlfpack81]

Stop this pity party you are throwing..if girls "look at you" like you say, get off your tpwer and greet them.

 

If you read my message I said that girls normally don't look at me but in these two cases I was lucky but like a moron blew it. And I don't want your pity, I just come to this board to vent (even if you all are complete strangers) and it does comfort me somewhat to know I'm not the only one in this position not that it makes it any better.

 

God puts us here for a reason.

 

You can look at it that way but you can also say each of us are here by luck. Lucky that the particular sperm we started off as beat out the other million or so that were competing for the same space. lol

[piscesprincess]

everyone has a right to "vent"

[d346]

I met my boyfriend at 24... First real relationship. just have fun, hang out with your friends and try not to think of it. Sure, I was VERY ready to be in a relationship and was tired of being alone, but along he came when I least expected it -a friend of a friend who decided to come out one night.

 

Plus, what he found so attractive was my sense of individuality and independence. Perhaps from being alone from all those years!

[DaXMan]

I didn't get a lot of time to read the other replies, but you got LOADS of time. Son't worry about this too much - ull find someone. All you have to do is jump back into the game, start flirtin', and big things could happen. Don't just keep watching hte whole time or nothing will ever happen.

 

I need a little help if u get the chance - link removed