He asked me on 2 dates but...

[Ammanda]

Hello ENA,

 

He asked me on 2 dates, 1 about 3 weeks ago and 1 last week. The first time I said no because he asked me to meet him the next day and I had already told my aunt that I was going to babysit her daughter so that her and her boyfriend could go out and have a night out and I couldn't cancel.

 

He got upset, and the next date, he asked me to go see a movie and have dinner, but I had to say no because of prior arrangement with my sister. She's not in town often.

 

I didn't turn him down as in "Hey you're lame I'm making excuses" No no, I said no because I already had plans and I'm not the kind of girl who cancel on her friends/family/plans I already made. I hate when people ditch me, so I don't ditch people.

 

Now he's upset again, doesn't understand that I didn't turn him down, take it personal, and I mean, he doesn't seem to have a life like mine. I hangout with my friends a lot and I make plans a lot with my people and he's more like the kinda guy who see his friends 2-3 nights a week and stay home the rest of the time.

 

What do I do from there?

 

The last time we spoke he said: "ive asked you out on a date twice, and both times u ignored me, and disapeared for days, what am i suppose to think and do? wait forever?"

 

(By disappeared for days he means that me and my sister ended up going to see family in MI for 2 days)

[waveseer]

Be glad you have a life and enjoy living it with or without a date. Obviously he's not able to do the same. Forget him before he tries to blame you for the next thing (and the next).

[mixie]

He doesn't sound worth it, if he's going to complain about everything. He should be more understanding that you've made prior engagements.

[MikNomis]

What you do after telling you can't meet him at that time, is offer another day and time that you're available. That way he doesn't think it's just him trying to get you and being shot down. He's bound to take that as a hint that you're not interested.

[DN]

What you do after telling you can't meet him at that time, is offer another day and time that you're available. That way he doesn't think it's just him trying to get you and being shot down. He's bound to take that as a hint that you're not interested.

I agree with this - did you do anything like that? Because if not he's definitely going to think you are making excuses not to go out with him.

[bar35]

Be glad you have a life and enjoy living it with or without a date. Obviously he's not able to do the same. Forget him before he tries to blame you for the next thing (and the next).

 

Like waveseer said, these could be rather significant red flags, so maybe you are just lucky to have had family obligations that prevented you from going out with him.

 

What you do after telling you can't meet him at that time, is offer another day and time that you're available. That way he doesn't think it's just him trying to get you and being shot down. He's bound to take that as a hint that you're not interested.

 

I also concur with what Mik said here. If I were to ask someone for a date and they said they couldn't, twice, unless there was another time made available, I would definitely think that they don't want to go out.

 

I am a bit curious as to how he expressed his frustration with not being able to go out together. How did he act? Was it in a joking manner? In a fashion that was directed toward trying to figure out if you were just dodging him, or did it seem disproportionately emotional?