CBC- Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Hey guys, I'm really hurt right now.... I've searched and look for some support and help. Here is the long story short... I met this girl about 7 months ago in Dominican Republic (we were vacationing with a group of friends)... things happened in dominican and then we ended up dating once we got back to Toronto... She always mentioned she was single, but when we came back to toronto, I slowly discovered she had an underground relationship with a coworker.... long story short, she left him and went for me..... (after confronting her and telling, its him or me). 4 months later, we were suppose to go out to a party, but she said she was feeling sick... went to the doctors with her, and told her to get some rest at home ..... I went to the party .. but got worried so i made a surprise visit to her place after..... Surprise surprise .. i found out she cheated on me .. she admited to everything .. and slept with the guy ... I always thought i would be the type of guy that would dump someone once i found out they cheated on me .. but inside me i had a soft side ... really soft side ...... so i took her back and forgave her... We're suppose to go on a vacation in two days ... long story short .. i discovered in her emails .. she was STILL contacting the guy .... the emails they exchange contains a lot of "miss you" .. "i want to study with you" ... the guy works with her and see her everyday... I'm really hurt right now .. here I trusted her .. gave her space and she is STILL talking to him ... One thing that is really bugging me as well .. I told her .. we could fix all of this if you let me meet this guy... She wouldnt allow it ....... she admits she has feelings for the guy .. but needs my help to get over him .... I feel like i'm being played here and to be frank .. im kind of sick of it .... The bad side of me wants to go on the vacation .. have a good time .. and after it all .. Dump her.... but its easier said than done... i need advice .. Right now .. I know she has contact with the guy .. through emails ... but she doesnt know ..... what should i do? She said she cannot forget the guy because the guy hurt her a lot ........ I need help Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 You got two options here buddy and only one of them looks good. Dump the ho and go on your vacation or stick around and get played. Common sense will tell you option number one is your best choice. Link to comment
sidehop Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 She cannot forget the guy because the guy hurt her a lot? And she needs YOUR help to get over him? I think you do know what you need to do. As hard as it is, going on a vacation with her is the last thing you want to do. You'll be miserable. Link to comment
Cadence44 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Break up with her. She's not honest and she's a cheater. You're just in for a world of hurt if you stay. It can get worse than you are feeling right now. Don't be tempted to meet the guy. He doesn't owe you anything. Link to comment
CBC- Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 Thanks guy .. but realistically, i guess there isnt a way to save the relationship on my end huh? She always says.. being with me .. she feels safe and comfortable .... she loves that .. but sometimes she can't help but want some excitement ... I can't change her personality .. and she truly is not trying hard enough ... I really don't know guys .. i mean .. i could still go on the trip and have tons of fun .. i mean .. it's already booked and we're committed .. but after that.. I'm thinking of laying it down and telling her and breaking it off .... but i know for a fact .. if i do that .. she will go back to that guy .. and well ... in a short story .. that guy wins ... bah ... i know it's very selfish .. but I don't want that guy to win .. heck .. i want to make him even more jellious by showing him how much me and my gf are so he could back off ... Put it this way .. if you were in his position .. you would be like you won if they broke up right? .. I know its bad but i just want to make this guy feel like * * * * so he would give up .. .its immature but i unno .. what you guys think .. Link to comment
epicurean Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I can understand your situation and it is really tough just hang in there. My ex of 4 years has left me 2 times and both times she starting seeing another guy just a couple days after breaking up with me ( i know she was seeing/talking to these guys before she broke up with me I had a hunch, I did some snooping she calls it stalking... but in the end she admitted to everything... that she found a "connection" with these guys). I am extremely hurt. All i think about is her, I want her back desperately and she keeps stringing me along wanting to be friends... telling me shes confused and she still has feelings for me,that her and this new guy is not serious and they are taking things slow.. telling me we need some time apart and she needs to decide if we have a future together all the meanwhile shes spending all her time with the new guy even spending nights at his house. I am done. I don't want her back. I can't trust her with my heart any longer. What is more important to you? Your dignity, self respect? Do you care about yourself as much as you care for her? As painful as it will be, move on. Look at my scenario. I hope you can realize what kind of person she is. She is seeking love outside of herself to validate her esteem. She is using you to get over her ex. She even told you herself.... Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Dude its not totally all his fault. Your girl cheated on you. Why are you so focus on him? Your girl is the one that cheated on you. At the end no matter how much fun you have her heart is still with him, sorry to break it to you man... Link to comment
Cadence44 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I really don't know guys .. i mean .. i could still go on the trip and have tons of fun .. i mean .. it's already booked and we're committed .. but after that.. I'm thinking of laying it down and telling her and breaking it off .... I like the part where you say that you could still go on the trip. Singular. By yourself. but i know for a fact .. if i do that .. she will go back to that guy .. and well ... in a short story .. that guy wins ... bah ... i know it's very selfish .. but I don't want that guy to win .. heck .. i want to make him even more jellious by showing him how much me and my gf are so he could back off ... Put it this way .. if you were in his position .. you would be like you won if they broke up right? .. What exactly are you winning - a girl who consistently cheats on you? ..... uh, congratulations. That's a prize I'd be happy to lose. Stop with the testosterone competition with this other guy. It's pointless and it takes away from your real issue which is that you should not be with this girl anymore. You'll come out looking much better if you finally accept her true worth and break up with her and effectively say "you know what? you can have her" Link to comment
sidehop Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Yep leave the guy alone he may seem like a competition but she's causing the problem. She cannot decide. Losing her is far better than dealing with a wishy-washy drama llama queen. Link to comment
iBroken Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 So you only started dating this girl about 7 months ago and she has cheated on you already? Let her go....spare yourself the hurt. If she has done this so soon, she will only do it again. Once a cheater, always a cheater...... Link to comment
lunatic Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I recommend you lose the dead wood! She needs to be shown the door and the other dude does not win. He is in second place since she is with you and your showing her the door! I was in a win-less situation like you are right now... GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE ASAP!! I say go on vacation with her if you want but, when you get home END IT! Why do you feel so compelled to be with her? Is it love or is it the fact you don't like to lose to another guy? Let him be the rebound so you can find a woman who will love you. Not two of you! Seriously, I would go on the vacation and have fun then deal with the breakup afterwards. Enjoy yourself and don't get her preggo! Good luck! Link to comment
RobD70 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Thanks guy .. but realistically, i guess there isnt a way to save the relationship on my end huh? Actually there is, by breaking up with her. Staying in your current situation makes you look weak and she has no respect for you. That will all change when you get the balls to kick her to the curb for being disrespected by her. The thing is, she isn’t worth taking back. Most relationships are not like this and you already know you can’t trust her. There’s no future there. but i know for a fact .. if i do that .. she will go back to that guy .. and well ... in a short story .. that guy wins ... bah ... i know it's very selfish .. but I don't want that guy to win .. heck .. i want to make him even more jellious by showing him how much me and my gf are so he could back off ... Your situation happen to me about 17 years ago. I left her and said if you want to be with him so bad then go, GTFO. Image my surprise when she no longer wanted him anymore and started chasing me hard and heavy trying to convince me to take her back (this after her trying to break up with me up to that point). If she went back to him it wouldn’t last a week, she would be begging for you to take her back I’m betting. It’s just human nature. Don’t take her back but it won’t hurt to feel good knowing in the end YOU will win, not him. Give them what they want and you’ll find they won’t want it anymore. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 She had an under the radar relationship with this guy and dumped him for you...in other words, she cheated on him to be with you...and now she cheats on you to be with him. Not a class act. Both of you are being taken for a ride by this woman. Link to comment
Clarity Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 She had an under the radar relationship with this guy and dumped him for you...in other words, she cheated on him to be with you...and now she cheats on you to be with him. Not a class act. Both of you are being taken for a ride by this woman. Exactly. I wouldn't believe a word she tells me. She is telling the other guy the exact same stuff she is telling you. This woman cares about one person in this world; herself. Leave her and find a good woman, they are out there! Link to comment
turnera Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 i know it's very selfish .. but I don't want that guy to win .. heck .. i want to make him even more jellious by showing him how much me and my gf are so he could back off ... So...you want to be a doormat while she continues to cheat on you? Yeah, that'll show him... If you want to do something, find out his family's contact info and call them up and tell them what he's doing. Link to comment
arcadefire Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 She sounds like a person with weak character and little morals. You're better off showing the both of them how you've moved on with a much hotter girl who won't cheat on you! Link to comment
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