Follow my heart? Advice please? :)

[Hopehasaplace]

First off, I appreciate everyone who is taking the time to read this and reply to my post. It will be nice to hear advice from people who are on the 'outside' of things.

 

I have been together with my boyfriend for over 2 years. About 3 months into the relationship, he had to move about 6 hours away to go to school. We honestly didn't expect to start a relationship before he left but it just kind of happened. We spent about 7 months long distance..I traveled to see him every month. He eventually asked me if I wanted to move and live with him after my lease was up...so I decided to move away from my friends and family to be with him.

I have lived with him for over a year now.

Here is my dilemma:

Ever since I left, I have been very home sick. I figured that in time, it would go away..but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I was happier back home. I miss my Father and my friends..I even miss the area..another big thing I miss is being single.

I am a very independent person and I love to go out and have fun, but ever since I started dating my boyfriend..I stopped going out and I played more of a housewife than the person I used to be. I really miss being able to go out and flirt, and have fun.

Lately, I've been thinking about moving back home..the only problem is telling my boyfriend..If I told him I wanted to leave..that means it would be he end of him and I...

He is an amazing person...I trust him with everything and he has always been good to me..I just don't know what to do. To be honest with you, a big part that is holding me back is I dont want to hurt him. He means alot to me but it's either stay where I'm at and deal..or leave him and move back home to be happier and single. He will never want to talk to me again after I tell him I want to move back home..I don't think he will understand that moving home will make me happy.

[sahasupa]

If the thought of hurting him is the only thing that is stopping you, I'd say go ahead and move back home. It is ok, and sometimes necessary, to hurt people. Even those close to us, as sad as that may be.

[brainfog]

If you were totally commited to your boyfriend I would say try to come up with a solution to stay together. There could be a compromise, you both could move back to your hometown at some point.

But you stated you were missing being single and going out and you were happier back home. Does he know this? It really isn't fair to him if you stay and pretend to be happy.

[DN]

I don't see anywhere in your post where you say that you love your boyfriend.

[catfeeder]

Sounds as though you already know your own answer to this, it's just a matter of mustering the courage to be the bad guy.

 

It might be of some comfort to know that most people need to play the bad guy role in a breakup at some point. Very few are lucky enough to avoid the need to hurt someone else.

 

It also might help to approach this without the automatic assumption that BF will necessarily want to break up. Even if he does, it can only make matters more offensive if he perceives that you've already taken that choice out of his hands.