How do you REALLY know for sure??

[Sweetkisses22]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months in an LDR. We have both talked about trusting each other and cheating and neither one of us are for it. We bothe agreed that its stupid and pointless. But lately I've been worried about it.

 

My boyfriend has a very busy and competeitive office job which he works crazy hours. The thing is, we don't talk as much as we used to. We usually just text during the day. He used to call me every night but hardly ever anymore. He will say ill call you later and never does. And if I call or text him he doesn't respond. SOMETIMES he does respond but hours later but for the past 2 days he hasn't responded during night hours.

 

I want to trust him because he doesn't seem like the type to cheat at all. And I know he loves me, he does a lot for me and shows me he cares when were together. And it is not all about sex with us, we can be comfortable not having sex and just sleeping or relaxing.

 

But tonight I called him because I have a major nursing exam tomorrow and I needed help. He also told me he would call me tonight and still hasn't. Well he basically ignored the call. You know when you press end so it sends the caller to voicemail. Then I text him saying what are you doing? He still hasn't responded.

 

I don't understand why he does this sometimes? He knows were in a ldr and that I am going to be moving closer to him very soon. He is even excited about the move! But he's so distant when we are not physically together.

 

Is he cheating or is it something else?

[Clarity]

A drop off in contact is not nearly enough to suspect cheating. Without any more evidence I think you are jumping the gun. Constant contact is hard to keep up - LDRs are difficult. Maybe he finds everyday contact to be too much? Cumbersome? Just some possible explanations.

 

The only way to find out is to tell him calmly that you've noticed that you guys are in touch less and less and are wondering why that is. Don't get angry, don't accuse him of anything - just tell him what you've observed and how it's making you feel. I definitely wouldn't mention that you are thinking he might be cheating, because with the evidence you have right now, that's a wild accusation.

[sidehop]

It may make some people insecure but he could be distant for number of reasons. But I think no matter how busy your life is if you have someone special in your life you would make the time to call especially if you're off work.

 

Let him know how you feel and see where it goes. If he doesn't respond don't hold your breathe. Communication is a key with LDR's (as much as any close relationships).

[savignon]

I agree that there's no evidence that he's cheating. Instead of texting him and waiting around for his answer...refrain one day from initiating contact and see if/when he does. My husband when we met contacted me so often that I found it annoying b/c I never got to show my own interest or think of him first. I was always "behind" in contact b/c he didn't really give me the chance to initiate. Obviously it all worked out but it was quite annoying and I had my doubts at the time.

So, maybe back off and let him take the lead sometimes.