so..... im going to this party this weekend..

[a_lifters_life]

Its a party that my g/f's "guy" friend invited us both to. Really kinda dreading it, her friend we'll call "B", is an alright guy. Never was really enemies with him, never was really best buds with him; given i dont really know him that well at all.

 

Its supposed to be a party, but its BYOB? Like huh? If you have a shore house party ---- you would think they'd provide alcohol or atleast get some and charge maybe $5 or something to go in to cover the costs.

 

My g/f said shes "happy im going because theres going to be a lot of guys there". These (as far as I know) are people she went to high school with (like 3 or 4 years ago).

 

I've really just had a tough week at work this week and next week is going to be a bear too. I guess I just dont know how to tell her i dont want to go... or atleast all weekend to sit at some guys house i dont really know much......anyone?

[DeenasRhino]

Just tell her you're uncomfortable and don't want to go.

 

Maybe ask her if she'd like to spend the night out with you and you can take her somewhere nice on a date.

[_Asti_]

Random question....but if she didn't or you weren't invited how would you have felt? You porbably would have came here and asked why she didn't invite you!

 

With that being said, do you have to spend the entire weekend there? Maybe this is a chance to get to know him better and spend time with her.

 

And her comment of lots of guys being there..how did she mean it? Like she feels uncomfortable being around lots of guys and you will be there for her...or that you'll have a great time as well because theres lots of other guys there for you to hang out with?

 

Just be honest. If you don't want to go, don't go. You were invited, doesn't mean you have to attend. But I'd try and make some sort of compromise and just go for one evening. Will she be going regardless, or is she only going if you are?

[DeenasRhino]

Sorry for being off topic but I just thought that Asti, your avatar is so cute.

[a_lifters_life]

What she meant with the guys is: almost she felt "threatened" but idk how.

 

If I say lets go for a night, she'd probably throw a fit. She claims the guy can only have 5 cars outside the house. She'll go regardless I would think if i didnt go at all.

 

I mean, you also have to understand, it gets expensive driving there. I already drive roughly 330mi per week (combined: to/fro) work every week. nevermind another 140-150 mi to her house r/t. I guess it just gets to be alot.

[a_lifters_life]

What do you think?

[IntotheWild]

Just say no and do your own thing. If she cheats on you, then you'll know she wasn't right for you to begin with.

[DeenasRhino]

How long have you been with this girl? Do you trust her?

[a_lifters_life]

How long have you been with this girl? Do you trust her?

 

2 years, 1 mo. I do trust her.

[DeenasRhino]

If this is something that you really do not want to do then you should let her know.

 

As I suggested earlier, try to plan something special and nice for the both of you alone. Take her somewhere and spend the weekend with her.

[a_lifters_life]

If this is something that you really do not want to do then you should let her know.

 

As I suggested earlier, try to plan something special and nice for the both of you alone. Take her somewhere and spend the weekend with her.

 

I wish that were the case, shes just very inflexible.

[tattoobunnie]

This is a slippery slope to being insupportive. There will plenty of things that she will do for you, that she totally doesn't care for. Now if she asked you last minute, you can definitely bail. If she asked you weeks ago, ooooo...just go! If someone died, got hospitalized, food poisioning, yes, cancel. But if you're just uber busy this week and next, and stressed, you have all next weekend to do nothing.

[FarthestEdge]

Yeah, I have to agree with tattoobunnie.

 

I wonder if "inflexible" here simply means she's really looking forward to it and has the reasonable expectation that you are both going...And knows that others are expecting her to be there

 

Also- She probably wants all her old friends to get to know her amazing boyfriend....These people matter to her, you matter to her. It's not unreasonable that she wants you to get to know one another.

 

Just try to go with an open mind, You never know, you might meet some fun people and have a good time...But most importantly, you are keeping your committment to her, and doing something that you would prefer to skip, for her....so hopefully, when the tables are turned, she will do the same for you.

[_Asti_]

This is a slippery slope to being insupportive. There will plenty of things that she will do for you, that she totally doesn't care for. Now if she asked you last minute, you can definitely bail. If she asked you weeks ago, ooooo...just go! If someone died, got hospitalized, food poisioning, yes, cancel. But if you're just uber busy this week and next, and stressed, you have all next weekend to do nothing.

 

Given the relationship history, she doesn't seem to be very flexible for him, unless that has changed...but she's seem to have been 'my way or no way' in the past...and him saying she'd throw a fit if he choses to only spend one night says to me she hasn't changed much.

 

OP, this is your call. You have every right to not go. And sure she'll be disapointed like every other person would be, but she should also understand your reasons for not wanting to go, and be understanding..not throw a fit.

[a_lifters_life]

Given the relationship history, she doesn't seem to be very flexible for him, unless that has changed...but she's seem to have been 'my way or no way' in the past...and him saying she'd throw a fit if he choses to only spend one night says to me she hasn't changed much.

 

OP, this is your call. You have every right to not go. And sure she'll be disapointed like every other person would be, but she should also understand your reasons for not wanting to go, and be understanding..not throw a fit.

 

very well put. Thank you Asti!