Commitment/Trust Issues

[Roffler]

I'm in a relationship with a girl I've known for about 2 years now. We've been officially dating for about 2 months now. I find there to be a very discouraging trust issue at stake. The girl will do nothing so show we are together. She has identified me as her boyfriend multiple times, but she won't kiss, hold hands or do anything commital. The weird thing with that is that we have slept together, not had sex but actually slept together, numerous times, camping 3 times, a motel after prom, and once at my house. They were all group, except at my house. At these times, she is willing to lay down and cuddle and hold hands but not kiss, and at all other times she is not willing to do anything, and I have tried.

I'm not sure how to interpret this or how to continue to react. Perhaps we're young and dumb, but I'd like to move to a stage bearing some level of public commitment. What am I to do?

[woobiegirl]

When you say officially dating, I'm assuming you've both agreed to be exclusive. If so, at this stage of the relationship there typically has been some sort of intimacy.

 

I would tell her exactly what you wrote in your post. It was written from your heart and obviously showing affection is important to you, whether in public or private. There are people that do not like to show affection in public....so I'd suggest having a heart to heart with her. She may just be on the shy side and waiting for you to make the first move, although it sounds like you've already tried. Or, she may just like to take things slow, which isn't a bad thing either. What happens if you reach out to hold her hand in public?

 

Sounds like you enjoy each other's company, so talking things over is always a good start.

 

Best wishes,

 

Woobiegirl

[Roffler]

In public, when I try to hold hands, she closes her hand and pulls away, yet remains close enough to me to remove any doubt from onlookers that we are together.

Anyways, after going with a group to a comedy club, we ended up sleeping together on the couch of a mutual friend's house. We were about as close together as physically possible, and she grabbed my arm and put it around her. We held hands as we slept, her head resting on my arm, my head resting on her head. This morning, as I drove her to work, she invited me to her cottage for a few days, just the two of us. I'm reading this as a sign of interest for something more than what we are currently doing, but I'm not sure how much, if any, to push or move.

Thanks for your support, it is greatly appreciated, and the re-assurance doesn't hurt either.