alienas Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Hi All, just wondering, is revenge worth it? Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 No.... even if many will state that the best revenge is living well. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 worth it in the sense that perhaps you gain some very short-lived temporary sypmtom relief. worth it in the sense that perhaps some part of you will realize that it's a very clear indication that you're being fed by pain...and remain stuck with it so long as the vindictive spirit remains. worth it in the sense that it offers you the opportunity to see it for exactly what it is. regardless...it is what it is. if it's there, why not learn something from it. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 no, I think you receive some short term satisfaction but overall, it doesn't make things better. I agree with the OP who said that the best revenge is living well. Link to comment
AbombSnowMan Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 sometimes revenge is worth it Link to comment
ben2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 don't do anything dumb because of sudden anger. A short anger will regret for ever. A perfect example, My ex called the police on me in the past when we argue now, she regretted because of all the trouble she caused. When you about do revenge, timeout yourself and cool down and rethink it over. Link to comment
arcadefire Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I would say it depends on circumstance. If this sort of revenge means you are doing the right thing (such as, whistleblowing to the other woman's bf that she has been cheating on him with your then bf), then yes, I would say it is worth it. Beyond the moral obligation, not so much (such as, vandalizing an ex's car). Link to comment
Teaday Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Feeling vindictive and angry hurts yourself more than anyone else. This is a feeling that revenge won't cure, it will only cause temporary relief. Even if everything else falls apart, your dignity is something you still have the control to keep intact! Link to comment
alienas Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 thanks everybody, I was plotting on a revenge. This I will just live well.I need to hold on to my dignity. Thanks all Link to comment
rigguy Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I'd agree with 90 hour sleep. Revenge may provide temporary sense of relief. That is okay to want someone that hurt you to feel a little of what you are experiencing at the moment. Emotions are like instincts, they are just there and there is nothing you can do about them. What make us human is the choice not to act out on certain instincts/emotions. The rest is up to you. Personally I will take my payback in any situation unless it involves instincts/emotions. You may take higher road or have some payback but make sure you give it a good thought (at least you'll take instincts out of picture). Some instances sure revenge can help you move along far enough that you will no longer care but that depends on your personality. If you can honestly say, years down the road, you will be okay with it than it is the right path, what you are doing is taking care of yourself. Otherwise just drop it all, step aside. Sorry for ramble, wishing my ex would suffer some at the moment but I won't tomorrow, cheers Riggy Link to comment
ivanhoe Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 No, not in my opinion - and I speak from experience. I found out my ex was lying and cheating on me and finished it. She denied it and was attempting to get back with me whilst still seeing the other man. He of course had no idea about this and neither did I know she was continuing to see him. When I found out she was decieving us both I sent him the correspondance between me and my ex in a moment of uncharacteristic anger. On reflection I felt ashamed that I had stooped to that level when I should have just ignored her from that moment on. Poor guy didn't deserve to be lied to or to find out from me. Plus, even though she had lied and behaved v. badly it wasn't my place to interfere. I had let myself down and felt I had damaged my own integrity that I value very highly. In the end three people got upset and it need not have been that way. So my advice echoes that of others. The best revenge is to move on and live well. Link to comment
orthanc Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I can relate to this. I was on the same boat a day after I broke up with my ex, I discovered she is having another fling while we were still together. I threatened to send all her explicit photos and videos of her (6 yrs relationship and its a lot im telling you) to all her colleagues in the office just to show how much of a cheating liar she trully is. I texted her so many hurtful words, I can't even imagine I'm capable of writing all those demeaning stuff. At first, it gives you this momentary sense of power to control her emotions, to let her suffer as much as you are suffering. I guess it just hurt us so much, we want them to at least share this pain we are feeling. Buti in the end, commonsense and dignity got a hold of me. I apologized and promised that her past is safe with me. I deleted all the stuff from my hard disc so I can really move on and not cling on her memory. I must admit though in a brief wave of anger (which still happens then and again), I still have some thoughts of blackmailing her just to get even. But all of this are just emotions and I will not act on this. Link to comment
stalked Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Same for me orthanc. I was sure my ex was carrying on with a supposed "friend" eventually, I caught them in the act. She still denied it and tried to claim that she was so drunk she didn't know what was happening. I tried to forgive and forget, then I found out she was still arraniging to meet him, go out for drinks etc, even though she was basically claiming that this guy tried to rape her in her sleep. I spent about 3 weeks seething and working out how to get him back. This was a guy who I wlcomed into our home, fed him gave him cigarettes and drink and all the time he was carrying on with my girl behind my back. I threatened to beat him up etc... Then I realised that he's just not worth my time. He did me a favour, because if she hadn't done this with him, it would have been someone else. She's his problem now, not mine and they are welcome to each other, I'm better off out of it at the end of the day. It's hard to let go and sometimes doing nothing is the hardest thing of all to do.....But it's usually the best thing in these situations.. Link to comment
TurtleDove12 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 My ex cheated on me. I sent an email to her boytoy stating. "Oh you slept with my girlfriend _______. Pretty proud of yourself buddy?" Didn't do anything for me. Not in any way, shape or form. Link to comment
SocialStigma Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 No, might make you feel victorious for a short while but you lose your dignity and self-respect in the process and it reflects poorly on you that you let someone get to you that much that you succumbed to it. Taking the high road and moving on with grace would hurt whoever you want to hurt much more than any revenge you plot. Link to comment
orthanc Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I can relate to this. I was on the same boat a day after I broke up with my ex, I discovered she is having another fling while we were still together. I threatened to send all her explicit photos and videos of her (6 yrs relationship and its a lot im telling you) to all her colleagues in the office just to show how much of a cheating liar she trully is. I texted her so many hurtful words, I can't even imagine it was me who wrote all of it. At first, it gives you this momentary sense of power to control her emotions, to let her suffer as much as you are suffering. I guess it just hurt us so much, we want them to at least share this pain we are feeling. Buti in the end, commonsense and dignity got a hold of me. I apologized and promised that her past is safe with me. I deleted all the stuff from my hard disc so I can really move on and not cling on her memory. I must admit though in a brief wave of anger (which still happens then and again), I still have some thoughts of blackmailing her just to get even. But all of this are just emotions and I will not act on this. Link to comment
alienas Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hi guys, there is new development or what shld i call it? My BF been telling me he aint married but he got a woman and a child with him. And the lady been calling me to tell me to keep off. when i ask him he says he is not his wife. So i got mad and called the lady and told her i was sorry for dating that guy and was not sure abt his marital status. she told me the guy has done that to her several times.And she was thinking of leaving him . I told her to hold on coz am the one leaving , she can stay coz she got his baby.So anyway, We had a bit of a chat and she had some really nasty stories abt the guy.So I asked her not to tell her BF that we talked. Guess what??? She did. So the guy was all over my case. We had agreed that we will talk the next day. Next day the lady has her fon off. Following day,I try to call her and she does not pick up. Then the guy calls me and is furious telling me to stop calling the in house GF. So the gal back stabbed me...the guy thinks am psycho...we are not speaking as of right now. But am really hurt coz the guy lied over and over and over again that he is not married..........what do you think? Link to comment
AutumnBorn Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 But am really hurt coz the guy lied over and over and over again that he is not married..........what do you think? I think you dodged a bullet. They deserve each other. Move on. Find and do better. Link to comment
FootofGod Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 The best revenge is doing better than ever so they can think to themselves, "wow, I must have been holding them back." Don't say anything, don't rub it in - just go and live better than ever. Actions speak far more than words. Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 footogod you are amazing everything you say inspires me i thin kw e joined the same month didn't we, oh no it was june for me coz I was desperate and i had no help. if I didn';t have this site I'd be amess .wow things have been tough Link to comment
Vulcan800 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 the best revenge is for you. Get on with your life and be happy Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 It depends. When my in-the-closet ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I had the idea to call all his close friends (or maybe a quick facebook message) and let them know he liked boys I didn't end up doing it (because I'm too chicken), but it would have been fun. And it would have scarred him the same way his cheating scarred me. In my opinion, people shouldn't be allowed to f*** someone over and come away from it unscathed. Screw living well. How does it teach them not to f*** with me, or anyone else? Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 It depends. When my in-the-closet ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I had the idea to call all his close friends (or maybe a quick facebook message) and let them know he liked boys I didn't end up doing it (because I'm too chicken), but it would have been fun. And it would have scarred him the same way his cheating scarred me. In my opinion, people shouldn't be allowed to f*** someone over and come away from it unscathed. Screw living well. How does it teach them not to f*** with me, or anyone else? I actaully agree with you you're rewarding bad bad behaviour.i dunno I have thought of it but to be honest so exhausted to do anything about it the emotional upheaval as been to much.Ist like eh i dunno. Link to comment
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