Destined for lifelong bachelorhood...

[IntotheWild]

...and I'm not sure I mind.

 

Every time I read a forum on relationships, I become more and more convinced that I would not be happy if I decided to marry. I'm not sure if living single for life is a bad thing--I'm not exactly the masculine counterpart of Coco Chanel or anything, but the single life seemed to work well for her.

 

I'm just not ambitious... I never will be. I have interests and I like pursuing them, but I'm relatively happy with low paying jobs that don't require much responsibility. I have no career and I doubt I ever will. I just seem to jump from job to job with the shifts of the winds.

 

I think modern women want stability. I say that as a generalization and I know it's not true for all of them, but I think it's true for the majority. I never want to be locked down to financial obligations such as a mortgage or car payments or raising children. I grunt my way through paying my cell phone and my car insurance and rent and that's enough for me. The last thing I want is some woman harping in my ear, "We need! We need! We need! ... ."

 

But... women are attractive. It's a damn cruel divine joke. Why must I be attracted to them? Whenever I picture a beautiful woman in my mind, I see a big bright neon sign above her head that reads, "RESPONSIBILITY"

 

...run, Forest, run...

 

The bachelor life is almost perfect, except for the obnoxious primal craving for physical affection. It's like that scene in the Last of the Mohicans where they're hunting the deer, running fast and free through the wilderness, without a woman in sight. Oh, it's beautiful. Just imagine how it would be ruined if they were running with cell phones and one of their wives called and asked, "WHY AREN'T YOU HOME FOR DINNER YET??? DID YOU KILL A DEER YET? You good-for-nothing-man... don't you know what your role is? Don't you know who you serve?!"

 

Oh, God, I'm bitter. Haha.

 

On another note, new episode of The Bachelorette tonight. Everyone tune-in.

[guynextdoor]

You live a very simple stress free life my friend. But you are probably right, women want stability and also excitement. Hard to provide both if you live paycheck after paycheck.:sad:

[hexaemeron]

Maybe you just need to find a woman who wants to run with you.

[HouseKitten]

Sometimes I do think, being single for the rest of my life would not be the end of my life. I think people can be perfectly happy by themselves.

 

To be fair, ENA probably isn't the best place to come if you're looking for hope that relationships can work and be a happy place. People come here specifically to ask for advice on their failing relationships - the number of success stories is minuscule. This just isn't the place for them.

 

Is finding women attractive really a problem? There are thousands of women out there happy to have one night stands, or very casual arrangements.

[IntotheWild]

You live a very simple stress free life my friend. But you are probably right, women want stability and also excitement. Hard to provide both if you live paycheck after paycheck.

 

Yeah...don't want to provide... provide==bad

 

Maybe you just need to find a woman who wants to run with you.

 

That is efficiently insightful. Maybe that's exactly right. And maybe she'll run with me to Alaska where we can live in a little log cabin and co-write books and backpack through the Yukon.

[hexaemeron]

Yeah...don't want to provide... provide==bad

 

 

 

That is efficiently insightful. Maybe that's exactly right. And maybe she'll run with me to Alaska where we can live in a little log cabin and co-write books and backpack through the Yukon.

 

Or, you could even compromise and run with her where she wants to go for awhile. Maybe tromp around another country, teaching English to sustain yourselves, learning about new cultures from the inside out...

 

There are people of both genders who love nothing more than doing this.

[Speranza]

Maybe you have a form of commitment phobia. It's certainly a very narrow view of what life is about. But I understand. In fact I was driving along yesterday and suddenly the thought popped into my head, "If I had to choose between never having sex again, and never hearing Mozart again, Mozart would win, no contest.."

 

lol

 

I hope you find happiness - there ARE women who would run with you...

[IntotheWild]

Sometimes I do think, being single for the rest of my life would not be the end of my life. I think people can be perfectly happy by themselves.

 

To be fair, ENA probably isn't the best place to come if you're looking for hope that relationships can work and be a happy place. People come here specifically to ask for advice on their failing relationships - the number of success stories is minuscule. This just isn't the place for them.

 

Is finding women attractive really a problem? There are thousands of women out there happy to have one night stands, or very casual arrangements.

 

Yeah, I think the bachelor life does work well for some people. I guess I'm still trying to figure out if I'm one of those people.

 

As for one-night-stands, I don't really want to do that. Naturally I would if a Jessica Alba look-a-like (or Jessica Alba) jumped me, but that's only because I'm a weak hormone driven male. I wouldn't be happy with myself. I've never found casual sex satisfying.

 

Plus, I wouldn't want to risk an STD or pregnancy... that would just ruin the damn oil painting like spilled coffee.

[IntotheWild]

Or, you could even compromise and run with her where she wants to go for awhile. Maybe tromp around another country, teaching English to sustain yourselves, learning about new cultures from the inside out...

 

There are people of both genders who love nothing more than doing this.

 

I was looking into ESL teaching in a foreign country. It may happen next year... and maybe I will run into one of these vagabond-stylee women that you speak of.

 

Maybe you have a form of commitment phobia. It's certainly a very narrow view of what life is about. But I understand. In fact I was driving along yesterday and suddenly the thought popped into my head, "If I had to choose between never having sex again, and never hearing Mozart again, Mozart would win, no contest.."

 

lol

 

I hope you find happiness - there ARE women who would run with you...

 

I never liked the term "commitment phobia". I prefer "commitment antipathy" because I really feel it's a strong distaste more than it is a fear.

 

I understand what you're saying about Mozart. I feel the same way about my Snoop Dogg record collection.

[Purusha]

Yeah...don't want to provide... provide==bad

 

 

 

That is efficiently insightful. Maybe that's exactly right. And maybe she'll run with me to Alaska where we can live in a little log cabin and co-write books and backpack through the Yukon.

 

God, I loved that book.

[Puddincup]

Oh yeah, there are plenty of women who share your philosophy. I'm sure you can find one but wouldn't it be easier if you could put your requirements into a machine and out would pop that person? Yeah, that would be nice.

[IntotheWild]

God, I loved that book.

 

What book?

[HouseKitten]

Plus, I wouldn't want to risk an STD or pregnancy... that would just ruin the damn oil painting like spilled coffee.

 

You know if you decide you'd rather be alone, there's always vasectomy.

 

I don't know, I think you need to see some non-horrible relationships. If this is mainly because of the type of posts you see here, or the relationships your friends and family have, maybe you need some exposure to how couples can complement rather than contradict each other. There are thousands of people out there after all who have loving, happy relationships where neither feels like they've been trapped into a stereotypical nagging wife/resigned husband scenario

[IntotheWild]

Oh yeah, there are plenty of women who share your philosophy. I'm sure you can find one but wouldn't it be easier if you could put your requirements into a machine and out would pop that person? Yeah, that would be nice.

 

Absolutely. Like in the movie Serenity, Mr. Universe has that cybernetic woman that's perpetually in a prom dress.

[hexaemeron]

You could always play my side of the fence if you're that worried about pregnancy, ITW, but admittedly, that's likely to be a pretty fundamental recalibration for you.

[IntotheWild]

You know if you decide you'd rather be alone, there's always vasectomy.

 

I don't know, I think you need to see some non-horrible relationships. If this is mainly because of the type of posts you see here, or the relationships your friends and family have, maybe you need some exposure to how couples can complement rather than contradict each other. There are thousands of people out there after all who have loving, happy relationships where neither feels like they've been trapped into a stereotypical nagging wife/resigned husband scenario

 

I'm not sure if I've ever seen a healthy relationship up close. But like the Holy Grail, I have serious doubts about its existence.

[IntotheWild]

You could always play my side of the fence if you're that worried about pregnancy, ITW, but admittedly, that's likely to be a pretty fundamental recalibration for you.

 

Haha... yeah, there's no primal pull for me on that side of the fence.

[Purusha]

What book?

 

That is frighteningly spooky that you weren't referring to a book called 'The Good Life' by Dorian Amos - it's a true story and is an absolutely mind bogglingly fantastic read. There's also a follow up which I've been meaning to buy!

 

Cannot believe that you didn't mean that as the general theme is spot on!! ha haa!

[Puddincup]

The single life definitely has its benefits. I like being able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it. If I never get married, I will be ok. I have just recently come to this conclusion which is good because I am getting old and the likelihood that Mr. Perfect is going to come strolling along is shrinking. Although I was really counting on having a permanent helper to shovel the snow from the driveway.

[Curious_Girl]

I'm not sure if I've ever seen a healthy relationship up close. But like the Holy Grail, I have serious doubts about its existence.

 

I have seen quite a few. I am lucky to have a number of happily married friends and even family members (not my parents, though, unfortunately). I did not have a good marriage, but I am still hopeful. I want to get married again, and this time, I will make a better choice.

[bulletproof]

Whether it's true or not that women desire stability, that doesn't mean that desire will manifest itself by nagging. She might just desire stability in the sense that you two are a team working towards a common goal, whether it be a peaceful life in the country or traveling the world.

 

Your view of women in general seems to be a bit narrow. Every human is different. I happen to know a lot of women that look for guys to backpack to Alaska with. Oh, and by the way, we are allowed to work now, so we might not need your credit card, either.

 

Commitment, stability, etc., those are all just words. You make your relationship what it is.

[IntotheWild]

Whether it's true or not that women desire stability, that doesn't mean that desire will manifest itself by nagging. She might just desire stability in the sense that you two are a team working towards a common goal, whether it be a peaceful life in the country or traveling the world.

 

Your view of women in general seems to be a bit narrow. Every human is different. I happen to know a lot of women that look for guys to backpack to Alaska with. Oh, and by the way, we are allowed to work now, so we might not need your credit card, either.

 

Commitment, stability, etc., those are all just words. You make your relationship what it is.

 

Women are fine. It's relationships I have a problem with.

 

I don't have any credit cards.

[Blue Spiral]

IntoTheWild--I'm the same way. I've been alone for pretty much all of my life, and I enjoy it. I have FWB, and I find I don't need anything more than that. The threads on here (and things I see in offline life) have made me convinced that I'm better off this way. I can't imagine dealing with that kind of limited freedom.

[FathomFear]

I think you might be over analyzing the situation a bit. Your goal should not be to change your personality to fit the expectations of some woman who wants you to have a certain career path. Your goal should be to find a woman who is on a relatively similar trajectory as yourself. Someone who craves physical intimacy but isn't really married to corporate culture or jumping from one nice job to the next. People like that are out there. You're proof of that. Now it's just a matter of finding a female counterpart and going from there.

[LAYAAN]

Not every woman wants a guy who has a good career and can provide stability. MOST women want that though. Now, what you need to do is to find a woman who wont' care that you don't have a desire to have a stable, strong career. There are women like that. Yes, some of them are hot too. Go for someone like that.

Also another thought, what about going for a sugar mama? Have you thought about that? How old are you? Do you look good? You can get a sugar mama if you are young and hot and sexy. Think about it.