No Contact letter,opinions?

[Formula]

Im thinking of sending this letter by email to my ex. It speaks for itself. Is there too much in it as i really feel i need to get this off my chest to let her know that i think for the time being this is best. Would she understand from it what i want? and to contact me down the line if reconciliation was on her mind?

Maybe not send it at all? and if she contacts me in the future tell her basically whats in the letter? The kids mentioned in the letter are hers not mine.

Id be grateful for opinions. Thanks

 

 

 

Hi ******

Were do i start? I thought i could do the being friends thing but i can't.To come out of a nearly 2 and a half year relationship to being friends is impossible for me. I want us to be together,you,me and the kids.You know thats what i want.

God knows i wish you wanted the same. It's hurting me way too much when we have contact. The two times i have seen you and the kids in the 5 weeks since the split I have put a brave face on but underneath im in bits.

It's setting the healing process for me way back each time were in contact and its tearing me apart. Im truly heartbroken and i need to get over you. I guess it's best we don't have any more contact for a while.

 

*****.

[loulou37]

it's good, i'd say send it, cus that's what i'd do...i'm not sure what the other enotaloners would advise!!

[Formula]

I am tempted to send it,im just not sure whether to let her know im feeling this way or to simply go NC until she contacts me then tell her whats basically on the letter. She hasnt contacted me too many times but did so with alcohol consumed on Sat night past. It was random talk too.

 

Welcome back Loulou

[loulou37]

Thanx Formula... i just know when i sent my ex that final email it was something i needed to do...maybe wait get a few more opinions eh... i'm not the best at giving advice, i always seem to go with my heart, that's why i always mess things up lol

[DN]

I would cut it down and remove the emotional aspects to something like this:

 

"Hi, I have decided that it is in my best interests right now stop being in contact with you so that I can move on with my life"

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would cut it down and remove the emotional aspects to something like this:

 

"Hi, I have decided that it is in my best interests right now stop being in contact with you so that I can move on with my life"

 

Yes, I think this is better. No point wearing your heart on your sleeve right now. Best to show her that you are in control of your life and you are strong.

[Formula]

I kinda want her to know that she has broke my heart before i go NC. Is this maybe revenge in the back of my mind? to make her feel guilty?

[SayWhen]

I sent my ex (he dumped me seven months ago) a letter similar to yours, and I felt like I put control back in his hands by doing so because he never responded. I wondered for days what he was thinking, or what he would say to what I had written. Well, I never got anything in return. Think it through before you send it...I agree that something just regarding NC, that sounds "cold" is better. Don't let your ex see that you are hurting...it will not help, trust me.

 

Good luck!

[Formula]

Hmmm,i might not send it and just go NC with out mentioning to her.I will think it through first tho. Thanks for the replys folks.

[DN]

I kinda want her to know that she has broke my heart before i go NC. Is this maybe revenge in the back of my mind? to make her feel guilty?

She already knows that. Don't tell people what they already know.

[Live-N-Learn]

I wanted to tell my ex how much she hurt me bla,bla,bla when I went NC. I did not thanks to the good advice I was given on this site. As DN mentioned, she alreadys knows so why feed her ego on last time. Why show her weakness? That is not who she fell for in the relationship. Be strong and confident.

 

Send the revised email or something like this:

 

Hey ex, I think we need some time apart. I have some goals I want to accomplish and will not be in contact any longer. I agree with the breakup and think we both need to go our separate ways. Who knows, maybe we will reconnect in the future, in the meantime I wish you the best.

[jenna-is-here]

I say go NC. If she continues to contact you then u may need to say it or send it. I had no problem telling my ex that it hurt too much to talk. Trim

the letter down or not, I think people figure why we go nc anyway - because it hurts too much otherwise.

[MalibuOne]

I wanted to tell my ex how much she hurt me bla,bla,bla when I went NC. I did not thanks to the good advice I was given on this site. As DN mentioned, she alreadys knows so why feed her ego on last time. Why show her weakness? That is not who she fell for in the relationship. Be strong and confident.

 

Send the revised email or something like this:

 

Hey ex, I think we need some time apart. I have some goals I want to accomplish and will not be in contact any longer. I agree with the breakup and think we both need to go our separate ways. Who knows, maybe we will reconnect in the future, in the meantime I wish you the best.

This is the kind of response that you can look back on without cringing once you've healed. I'm with the posters who say of course they know they've broken your heart. Don't go out with a whimper...wail in private and keep your dignity. You'll be glad you did in the long run.

[Formula]

If i send it i will defo trim it down and leave out the emotional stuff. This has been a great help folks. Im going to deactivate my facebook profile for a while too as i can live without it and i can't be bothered having my head wrecked thinking if she is looking at my profile or if she thinks im looking at hers.

[Formula]

So i went on to facebook there now to deactivate and guess who started to chat with me? my ex.Arrgghh thats the first time we chated on fb,saying looks whos getting addicted etc then we talked about random nonesense then she went offline then back on aarrgghh what a complete headf***. That put me clean off deactivating my account.