Double Checking Something

[Alec]

Ok, my girlfriend broke up with me about, oh 2 and a half maybe 3 weeks ago. The break-up occurred not because of me, but because of how she felt. She is going through a time in her life where she is extremely frustrated at home, she's had a rough time growing up. Anyways not going to explain it too much, just saying it's the kind where she simply can't have a boyfriend right now because she doesn't want to get depressed knowing she isn't ok with how things are going in her life right now, and that she can't persue a relationship with anybody. TOTALLY understandable. Ok so here is my strategy could you tell me if i'm screwing up.

 

1) I'm staying the friendly type, it was rough I admit at first, I kept getting frustrated when I was around her (I can't do no contact, sorry not a possibility we see each other too much). But i'm past that. I'm more controlled now and I realize that if I get down or get upset about the breakup that it isn't really presenting me as a very likeable person to her.

 

2) So what i'm going to do is, lighten up. I've had time to be by myself and control how I feel. I admit I love her, I care about her etc... So my main base of action is to continue being friends, be happy when i'm around her, and never make her think i'm sad or mad etc... I'm hoping to just become a good friend of hers and be there until she can work this out. Once things start settling down, she has centered herself and can actually persue a relationship i'll just pick up as a friend and start the whole process over again. We dated for about a 2 months, she was so busy with things beyond her control plus frustration with her family and their new house that she couldn't spend that much time for me. So if I stay happy around her and show her i'm alright hopefully she won't feel guilty if we ever get back together and that I won't drive her away now.

 

So am I doing this right?

[in_the_mirror]

it sounds about right if she asks for space give her space when she asks for a friend be there for her, i think that is like every girls dreams when they can deal with family matters. i have been going through similar stuff maybe not as extreme but i can't handle change at all very well. but im working on it and my b/f isn't as quite as understanding as you.

[goodquestion]

Theoretically what you are doing is honourable, just be aware that she _may_ be using you as a pin cushion (someone to dump all her problems on). This may come off as arrogant, but in my experience it is always true ... people that love you _usually_ want you around when they are going through a rough time, no matter what it is, thereforeeee she wouldn't dump you - no matter what was going on ... just be aware, and don't let your interest level in her over shadow guarding your heart ...

 

l8r