Feelings of hopelessness

[vegetarian]

hello,

 

I'm really glad I found this message board - it really helps to read that other people are experiencing the same types of pains that are crushing me now.

 

After a year long relationship, it finally ended. She ended it very abruptly and without emotion. Although she told me many times "we will Always be friends, not matter what", our last conversation told me never to call her or try to contact her again. I later found out it was because she had found a new love. One of her "just friends".

 

It's been a month and I still am walking around with a pit in my stomach making me feel totally abandoned, alone and worthless. I feel completely betrayed, and crushed. I can't imagine dating again now, or anytime in the future. It just feels my whole life is meaningless.

 

The worst part is sometimes I feel like my old self again, joking and having fun. Then suddently it hits me in my stomach, and the memories come flooding back. Will these memories ever stop? Nothing seems to at all lessen the pain.

 

I'd like to hear from anyone who has gone through this before. I just want to know that people do recover from experiences like this.

 

Thank you

[ydubel]

It's been said a million times, so let's make this a million and one ;-)

Time heals all wounds. The only real cure is time, but making that happen does require a bit of work.

 

The work of loving and supporting yourself. Part of that is reaching out when you need a support system.

 

Don't allow yourself to sit and focus on the memories. I know it's hard to stop the "why" questions, but it gets easier with time.

 

In the meantime, move ahead with building a life you are happy with and that doesn't leave you depending on someone else's affection to make you feel worth while.

 

I know it's easier said than done, but it is possible and worth the effort.

 

You may want to start finding ways to express your talents and qualities that make you feel good about yourself. Although I'm sure alot of people will encourage you to get back out there and into another relationship I'd advise you to examine your needs that led you to the previous one.

 

Discover you needs and learn to meet them yourself. Most importantly, focus on a life that supports you in feeling valued, valuable, and loved.

 

Be well,

Y. Dubel

[moviestr]

Of course people recover from heartache experiences. Trust me, you are well on your way if you can find moments of joy and laughter while going through this. I am also recovering from a recent break, and I just have to remind myself to take it one day at a time. It's normal to feel sad or nostalgic, and only with time and the support of your friends will you be able to move on. . .so just be patient with yourself. Love is a difficult thing, but also a beautiful thing. I've recovered from a few tough breakups, so I know that it is possible to recover and move on.

 

-moviestr

[tisd]

I know how you feel. My ex boyfriend and I dated for 4 years and then one day out of the blue he broke up with me. I never understood why becasue he wouldnt give me a reason. I came home from work one day and he said he wanted to break up. I felt just like you do, like I had a hole in my stomach. I felt like a part of me was missing. I cried myself to sleep everynight. I also felt betrayed and thought that I would never be able to date anyone or have feelings for anyone else again. It has now been 7 months since we broke up. I know it is going to be hard, but do not contact your ex. When I stopped calling him and begging him to get back together with me I felt 10 times better. Dont let yourself just sit at home alone. That makes things worse. I did that for about 3 months and it made me very depressed and lonely. I finally started hanging out with my friends again and that made me feel like a new person. I still wasnt ready to date, but now that time has passed I am. Just think, their are many people out in the world that have been hurt before and are ready for a new relationship. I hope that this helps.

[sinnerboy]

hi,

 

 

sorry to hear that you are in this situation. like everyone told you here time will heal alll the wounds. sometimes it scares me how some people play with love, not knowing the power of it. i feel the same why my ex dumped me like a month ago and now she is dating a dude she met a weel after she end it. try to be busy even if it is hard, concentrate on yourself and do not blame yourself for what happened. remember you did not do anything wrong.

 

 

 

good luck

[das420]

I am on a supposed "break", but I am not getting my hopes ip for a grand reunion. Anyway my best advice to you would be to do as mentioned above and be yourself. Don't sit alone and think about your ex. We used to live together adn I had to live in OUR house alone for almost 2 months. I felt awful, lonely, hurt, empty, and so on just like you. Keep busy, hang ut with friends/family, and try not to think about it. When I catch myself thinking about it I tell myself not to. It is starting to work.

[nick23]

Time does heal all wounds, even though at times you will find yourself thinking about her. It has been two months for me now, and I find that when I think about her now, I start remembering more of her flaws instead of positive things. With time you will begin to notice why you are better off without her.

[tiff8434]

It is refreshing to see my age guys on here tha thave the ablity to care and love someone the way that I love my Ex. I know it will not make the pain go away for you, but with the heart that you have you are going to make some girl very happy one day.

[vegetarian]

I wrote the original message a few days ago , and I have been checking since. I think you all are truly wonderful people. I mean, as I am sitting here feeling completely alone and abandoned - people from all over the world took time to give me some comfort. I think you all are sterling examples of humanity's best.

 

As for me, the pain is still there in my chest, but it seems to be very slightly easing its grip on my heart. Although for the mornings are the worst, when I wake up and some memory of some conversation rings in my head. My mind cannot accept how someone who was so kind and gentle towards me for so long could change so completely and utterly....I feel I never really knew her at all.

 

If nothing else, this horrible experience has really given me so much time for reflection and self-understanding. There were many parts of my personality that I don't think I truly understood until now.

 

Tiff - I hope you are right.

[deebee]

You are not alone! There are many people out there feeling just like you and I am/was one of them. Like everyone has said, bit by bit you will feel better so just hang on to that thought when you are having a bad day. Eventually there will be more good days than not. It has been two months for me and I feel so much better now than I did back then. I still don't feel I am over it completely as I still think about my ex (but not all the time and with less painful emotions). I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel now! Read all the good advice this forum has to offer and good luck with the rest of your life!