Who thinks we're doing this just for comfort?

[semaj612]

This girl that Im talking to just broke up with her ex bf who she was on and off with for the past 6 months. Now we dont live by each other any more but we did get a chance to hang out last weekend. This girl is actually my ex gf before her last bf. So while I was down visiting her she told me shes still in love with me and wants to get married to me one day.

Now since I went back home we have been talking on the phone a lot. Yesterday we spent almost 6 hours on the phone together. At one point not even really talking any more. Watching tv in our own places (I know * * * * ing weird, right?). So Im thinking to myself we never even did that when we were dating and we had a long distance relationship for apart of it.

So basically what Im thinking is that she is just doing this for comfort. She is not telling me she loves me any more but I feel like she wants me to say it first. Im under the impression right now that Im almost in the rebound zone though. If I am what should I do? She is supposed to come visit me in two weeks. I feel I need to make up my mind by then. Either talk to her about being a rebound?

But Im also like well what if this is legit feelings. Because we had a really serious relationship when we dated and I always thought we'd get a second chance. But the deal now is that since we live apart I kind of dont want to get into a relationship that is long distance, and will be for at least another year, if we do. But I am thinking about it and I am thinking about talking to her and asking her for a commitment if she wants to for a long distance relationship. Or Im thinking about saying lets stop talking and see if our paths meet if we stop talking.

Any thoughts?

[waveseer]

What are the chances your paths will meet given the fact that you are long distance? I think you are considering this as an option so you don't have to commit to a course of action. Wouldn't you rather find out sooner than later that a relationship with her is not ever going to happen again? The only way to know that for sure given your mixed feelings is to try it.

[mca1975]

I think you are posting the above question because you think maybe you are doing it for comfort. Sounds to me like are uncomfortable with entering into an LDR with her, so don't.

 

Who knows if she is doing it for comfort, you just don't know.

 

People on the rebound never think they are.

[semaj612]

Yes I forgot to say that I also might be doing this just for comfort because I do still love her. But yea I have not found anybody else ever since she left that suits me. I do want to ask her what she wants to get out of this. And she claimed when we were together over the weekend that we will move to, or go to the same grad school once we both graduate college next year. (thats what she said. a year is a long time and i still dont know)

[mca1975]

Basically you just have to be open and ask her I think. The only way of knowing. Or you will just have to accept it for what it is right now, some fun, and see what happens, but because you are wanting it so badly, that seems impossible.

 

I would rather not bother with a relationship, than be like that again. if you cannot relax and take what comes, then you have had feeling about it.

[MalibuOne]

I think you are posting the above question because you think maybe you are doing it for comfort. Sounds to me like are uncomfortable with entering into an LDR with her, so don't.

 

Who knows if she is doing it for comfort, you just don't know.

 

People on the rebound never think they are.

 

People on the rebound never think they are. So damn true. They don't intend to hurt you but they do. If you think there's a possibility that you're her rebound, I'd say be VERY careful. Being the rebound girl myself, I can tell you it's very frustrating and you'll wish you'd never gone there...