How do I tell someone I care about that I've been cutting?

[Cerberus]

I've never posted on here before so I'm not exactlly sure what to write. I've delt with profound depression for as long as I can remember. about a year ago I went through some very hard times and lost all of the close friends (or at least I though they were close) friends that I had. I finally have another close friend and I know she really does care about me. I'm not sure why but I want to tell her that I've been cutting again and I don't know how. She knows all about my past and that I used to cut. She has been through treatment for anorexia so I think she would understand but I'm scared to tell her. I'm scared of hurting her and that she my think that it is for attention or that she is responceble or that it is in someway her fault. I care about her so much and I'm scared that if I told her I may loose her as a friend and thats not some thing I think I could handle. I know she hasn't seen the cuts but theres so many of them I'm also scare that if i don't tell her and she finds out she'll be angery because not too long ago she asked if I was still cutting and I told her no. what should I do? How do I tell her?

[bleeder]

Hi Cerberus,

 

I think the main issue you would have to deal with here is the cuts you have been inflicting on yourself. Not so much about you telling your friend about it.

 

Depression is a dangerous thing and if left unattended, it will just drag you down deeper into the mire. If seeing a therapist is not possible, perhaps you might want to pick up a new sport or a hobby. Cutting yourself is not going to bleed your troubles away.

 

Your happiness is in your own hands. Why choose sadness when precious time is ticking away? Talk to your friend again when you have overcome your pain and gloom.

 

I wish you well.

[Pippin]

I'm not sure quite how to go about it but it should make it easier, the fact that she knows you cut in the past. I'm going through I similar thing. I'm trying to tell my parents, but I'm not sure how they would react. Sad. Angry . So. . ...... I hope it all goes ok.

[avman]

If she is truly a good friend she will NOT run away when you tell her. I know its a scary thing and it feels like nobody will understand. But a true friend will stay with you.

 

I had a young friend reveal this to me a few months ago and I had come to know her very well before that. She was terrified that I would think less of her and not want to be her friend anymore. But nothing could be further from the truth. I still care about her just as much. Of course I'm concerned about her and I would do anything to help her. But I wouldn't think less of a friend who felt comfortable enough to reveal something troubling them. Actually I felt even closer to her because she trusted me enough to tell me.

 

Tell your friend. Then you will not have to face this issue by yourself. Just tell her how afraid you've been and that you need her. If she's any friend at all, she will understand.

 

avman

[Cerberus]

How do I bring it up? it try but everytime I get close to saying something I get so sad and I start to cry and all my words get confused and I don't know what to say...

[Marionette]

I know...you have what you want to say all thought out but when it comes to saying it...the words just dont sound like they should, in fact, they dont have any sound at all.

 

The thing is...You just have to start talking thats it...close your eyes if you have to...let the words start...whatever words they are...no one knows what you want to say but you. I had to do the exact same thing not more than two weeks ago...i would try to talk to him, and turn my head away, and he looked at me and told me that whatever it was, no matter how hard it was to say or horrible it was, i just had to say it. And...i did, i started talking, quickly at first, in a rush, because i knew if i didnt then i wouldnt, but then i slowed down.

 

And guess what...I'm closer to him than ever...he loves me, i love him...and without him i wouldnt have been able to help myself...

[Roxieknowsall]

Try writing her an e-mail or a letter. I recently told one of my best friends about it, and do you know what I found out? She does it too. So we formed a support kind of thing. Now I have someone close to talk to. It was one of the best thing's I'd done in a while. If you find writing it down to impersonal just try to find some way to tell her. It's worth it in the long run.

[Marionette]

The only problem ive found with email or letters, is that it gives them time to run...and you time to hide.

 

Whereas talking puts both you and them right there. Though, on the phone can be easier if its talking. When i did it, i did use the phone, and he had to hang up and call me back...it was hard, but he came over and saw me the next day.

 

The written word while well planned, gives you too much time to think, and thereforeeee can give you to much time to freak out and run away from the situation. But, to each their own, sometimes, live chat, such as aim or msn or yahoo can be good...it just depends on the person i guess, as long as it gets said.