Mental cheating with ex-boyfriend

[leonardo]

I dated my wife for 5 months. A month after we started dating, she called me with an exciting voice, "my ex called me". I was kind of confused and asked her to call him back and let him know that she was dating someone else now. She said that there was no need for that since there was no way he was coming back. "we dated for three years and he always respect me (no sex) but a month ago we had sex two time after a comeback of not seeing him for a year"

Please help I am confused. She is my wife now and I feel every single day that she does not forget him because her behavior towards me is like "I do not care what you do or think". I try to be the nicest, loving, care person because I love her to death but sometimes I feel like she does not deserve my love but I cannot help to love her. I feel like she is thinking about his ex when she is with me. It could be my idea but I need your opinion. Women's opinions would be appreciated since you know the reason why when you are with the nicest person "perfect" person in your life and decide to marry that person you still cannot forget ex.

Please help.

Thank you in advance.

[sprkal]

This could become a serious problem in your marriage. You need to speak to your wife about your feelings, ASAP!

[Michael2]

LEts get the other side of the story here. How is your marriage? Honestly? Is it all peaches and cream, have you been treating her well, doing the small things, or are you taking her for granted?

 

This may be a cry of help from her. In a small way she is telling you to maybe pay more attention to her. She might think she can't talk to you about this, in turn she attempts to play the jealousy card in hopes of you showing greater love towards her.

 

Maybe I am completely wrong here. Maybe things are perfect. If so, sit and talk with her. Nip this in the butt while you can.

[rat_freak]

I wouldn't say she's acting this way to make you pay more attention to her [by making you jelous]. Why don't you hint that you're not sure as to what their current relationship is. Ask her to explain why she's so excited by him trying to get in touch with her again...

 

rat_freak

[leonardo]

The other side of the story; I love her very much. The reason I marry her soon was because I am sure of my love to her. I've known her for 10 years and loved her since day one but due to geographical reasons, I couldn't have a relationship with her.

I have been the best behaved man or husband because I never felt the way I feel towards a woman as I feel now. I learned my lessons in past relationships and at the same time I know what that guy wants becuase I have been in his shoes.

I was always the one loved but I feel like I am the one loving my wife and she is in the mentality of "he loves me... well, I will fall in love with him someday." or "he treats me right...I stay with him." I have asked her, "seriously why do you love me?" and her answer is always, "because I like the way you treat me." I feel like this answer does not have juice or how to explain... it does not convince me. Perhaps I demanding too much but I am giving my life to her and it seems like she does not appreciate it.

[TrueHeart]

She really needs to distinguish to her ex that she is a married woman now. I can understand if she wants to be friends, but getting excited by just talking to him? I do admire her honesty in telling you straight away, but I would question more or less HIS motives and not your wife's... Why is he calling her, and has access to that?

 

That is not to say that you need to confront him, because you obviously have trust for your wife, and she needs to handle the situation. I would seriously sit down with her and let her know, openly and honestly about your discomfort with the situation. Let her know you do not understand why he is contacting you... since you're married, this kind of behavior from this guy is unappropriate.. Establishing and keeping trust in her will help keep you confident that she will handle it correctly, especially after the type of past they've had...

 

COMMUNICATION will be your best ally.

[leonardo]

Thank you guys.