Kumatora Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I’m leaving a 6 year relationship. It hurts so much because he was my college sweetheart, but I came into a sharp realization that he wasn’t giving the same amount of effort as I was. I worked crappy jobs (retail/grocery store) to pay for my bills and gas to see him. We lived 1 hour and 15 mins apart, separate states. Then I took a very difficult job assignment, which a LOT of people turned down, so I could move closer to him. Some of these people I worked with were involved in gangs, alcohol/drug, prison, or went through other disturbing issues in their lives and I had to educate them. It was the toughest thing I ever did in my life, with minimal rewards to it that made it worthwhile. I made a LOT of sacrifices, even risking my personal safety, to show that I was serious about my relationship with him and that I wanted to take it to the next level. We spent about 6 years together and I kept pressing and believing something good would come out of it. He couldn’t pull it together. He’s 28 years old with an associate’s degree. He didn’t pass certification tests to get a job in the medical field even though he promised me he would. That was a year ago. He didn’t go looking for other jobs outside of the medical field to make some sort of income. He could have got his Bachelor’s on a paid scholarship (his parents work at a state college), but for whatever reason he backed out of it. His car broke down and kept using me as a ride. It got draining so fast when he didn’t get ANY job. Our fighting and anxieties picked up again. I started talking and seeing other friends (not going out on dates), and his jealousy picked up. I made a clear point that I wanted him to take more initiative of seeing me. I am moving back with my parents in 18 days from now because my assignment ends. To my disappointment, the job didn’t turn out permanent because hundreds of positions got cut and workers with contracts took over temp positions. With his car being broken down, I don’t know how we will be able to spend time together. It caused a lot of tensions, worries, anxieties, and fighting. My questions are… 1. Was it the wise decision to move on and break up? A lot of people I personally know say it's for the better, though I like to think otherwise. 2. Since I am out of college, is it too late for me to find someone to settle with? I hear it gets harder to find people once you’re out of school. 3. What are good ways to heal from a break up from a long term relationship? How do I cope with being lonely? 4. How do you pull yourself out from the fear of falling in love? This is the longest relationship I have been through and the relationship before that was when I was engaged, but didn't work out since I was physically abused. Link to comment
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