Doing really well but....

[lost my keys]

I'm 2 months into a break up and about 5 weeks NC. We were together for 2 years and in our 30's. It didn't end badly but we knew we were not right together. I ended things because I knew he didn't feel the same about me anymore and I didn't want to be in a relationship where I wasn't getting back what I was putting in. It was hard to do trust me.

 

I've been coping really well, obviously with high and some really low days but always just getting through, knowing that missing him would be natural. There's no chance of a reconcilliation and he hasn't called and he won't because he knows I want more than he can give. I respect him for not playing with my emotions that way as I am certain he's missed me too the past few weeks but knows we wouldn't work.

 

The ultimate blow I've experienced in the last few days though is all our mutual friends now seem to be phasing me out of their lives and I'm no longer invited to events/ weddings etc. I know it's awkward and no-one wants to choose sides but they are all aware that it was him who had fallen out of love with me. I ended things out of self respect and I did it as amicably as possible, no harsh words, arguments etc, I just accepted that he felt that way and set him free so I feel sad that people are choosing sides at all. We both got hurt in this.

 

Anyway I'm just venting as I know this is what happens after a break up but I just feel let down as some of these people I had really supported when they had been through similar break ups.

 

Times like these make me feel like things are getting worse before they get better. I guess it's because I'm moving into the acceptance phase that there is no going back and that world I knew won't be the same again. When I have my logical perspective head on I don't even want to go back as although he is a great guy I know he's not right for me for a relationship in hindsight. But, I feel anxious every day, like I'm just waiting to heal and it's not coming. Like I can't go back but I can't figure out the way forwards either....

[catfeeder]

I'm sorry your friends aren't being very friendly. You've taken a big step, it was brave of you to let go of him. While it may feel as if you're in a holding pattern, still waters run deep. Looks as though you're clearing house for some big changes, and you won't be needing any surface friends.

 

Head high.

[uncomfynumb]

Maybe you should shift your focus to making new friends. Join a club, take dancing lessons, do volunteer work in your area.

 

You did the right thing for yourself by breaking up with him. I would also suggest that you start dating again whether you feel ready or not.