I wonder how he feels

[Pollygirl]

Was in a brief relationship that ended 2 months ago. OK. We're both sort of crazy and have had our struggles but I've done a lot of hard work on myself. I ended it because he wasn't willing to do any. But I had a hard time letting go and kept calling him for 2 weeks after it was over. Mistake, i know. I think I regretted breaking it off, maybe I wasn't patient enough.

 

But then I found out he was telling people bad things about me. He was angry. I understand it. He liked me a LOT.

 

I think I made myself look bad in his eyes. I haven't contacted him for 2 months now, and I wonder if he just thinks I'm TOTALLY crazy (I acted pretty desperate at the end there), or if he still misses me but his pride won't let him call.

 

Can constant No Contact make his feelings come back? Maybe we can find a way...

[Kinkz]

Are you feeling guilty about breaking it off? You must of had a good reason to break it off, having second doubts about it will only confuse you more. Like you said - he didn't try hard enough, if he realises that one day then maybe he will get in contact with you. At the moment he is probably still venting or angry.

[orillia]

Did you tell him, while you were breaking up, that you felt he didn't try hard enough?

 

Do you really want this guy back?

[Pollygirl]

Did you tell him, while you were breaking up, that you felt he didn't try hard enough?

 

Do you really want this guy back?

 

I told him that because we both have had some serious problems in our lives, I wanted him to also be doing some sort of work on himself. I couldn't do all the work. I don't know if I want him back. Maybe I just want the bad feelings I have to go away, that I acted badly and so did he.

 

I think it's my pride that hurts too - by "dissing" me out there, he's using my self-esteem to boost his ego.

[Pollygirl]

Are you feeling guilty about breaking it off? You must of had a good reason to break it off, having second doubts about it will only confuse you more. Like you said - he didn't try hard enough, if he realises that one day then maybe he will get in contact with you. At the moment he is probably still venting or angry.

 

Yes, I feel guilty too. Maybe I just want to talk to him and get resolution and relief because it's gotten so bad. I just wonder if he'll realize that both of us got crazy at the end, and will think about me at all. this guy was in love with me and we had something very special before all this happened. I wish it could be resolved somehow.

[Kinkz]

Yes, I feel guilty too. Maybe I just want to talk to him and get resolution and relief because it's gotten so bad. I just wonder if he'll realize that both of us got crazy at the end, and will think about me at all. this guy was in love with me and we had something very special before all this happened. I wish it could be resolved somehow.

 

Trust me, if he was in love with you and you guys had something special, then in time when his anger at the situation has gone, he will realise that maybe what you did was for the best, and only then, he will start talking/make contact with you again AFTER he has improved his own self. I mean, if he thinks its worth it, and does REALISE that you were doing all the work most of the time, then common sense says its his turn now to do his bit. Even if that means taking the time out to 'catch up' and have a talk, clean the air etc.

 

In the meantime i din't think you should feel too guilty, you did what had to be done, its unfair if only one person puts everything into a relationship while the other does nothing, things would have only got worse down the line, you saved yourself much time and energy. Give him space for now, he will realise in time.

[Pollygirl]

Thank you. I really appreciate your thoughts

[loshadka]

So, any updates???

[Civic204]

Trust me, if he was in love with you and you guys had something special, then in time when his anger at the situation has gone, he will realise that maybe what you did was for the best, and only then, he will start talking/make contact with you again AFTER he has improved his own self. I mean, if he thinks its worth it, and does REALISE that you were doing all the work most of the time, then common sense says its his turn now to do his bit. Even if that means taking the time out to 'catch up' and have a talk, clean the air etc.

 

I doubt he'll try to contact you as the dumpee. I think the onus is on the dumper to initiate contact after NC. As a dumpee myself, I would feel too much like I'm letting myself get jerked around: first by being dumped, second by crawling back. I don't know, that's just me. Maybe I'm still bitter, ha.