If I had all to do over again

[notgivingup]

If I had all to do over again, I would have followed his advice and realized how much he cares about me and how much I care about him, then maybe I would not have HPV. But then again, there is still a chance I could have HPV after I follow his advice and everything. I ruined our friendship and the chances of a serious relationship; it’s the first biggest mistake I made, and the biggest regret of my life. He must hate me so much for what I did. I was so stupid. And now there is nothing I could do to change it. He is so upset by the fact that I am not a virgin and that I have HPV that he refuses to accept it. Yes HPV can be suppressed by the body, but it is something that cannot be treated or cured. I will have to live with it for the rest of my life and always be aware of the fact that I could pass it along to somebody or that I am not worthy to be someone’s girlfriend because I have HPV. It is not something that I want to live with, but now that I have it, I have no choice but to accept it. It bothers me a lot that I have to live with this for the rest of my life, but what choice do I have?

[notgivingup]

I was just looking up information on HPV and they said that once the body clears itself of HPV then it means I no longer have it and as a result of that, I can no longer spread it to other people. But there is an off chance that I could get reaffected by it.

[notgivingup]

Yes it is true what I said about HPV that it has no cure, it can go away though. I am having an argument with a friend of mines about it and we keep going around in circles, him telling me this is why u ruined the chances for us (no cure for HPV) when there are multiple strains of HPV; two types of HPV itself (high and low risk HPV). It just got to the point where I said I don't want to talk about it anymore I'll talk to you when I talk to you BYE. I couldn't believe it has to come to that. I try so hard to explain things to him but he could only focus on the fact that there is no cure to HPV. Things aren't always as simple as they seem. I am still confused and puzzled about what it means to be a carrier of HPV. How could he possibly understand?

[notgivingup]

I will never forgive you for judging me as my friend. I will never forgive you for hurting me like you did knowing how sensitive I am. I will never forgive you for overreacting. I will never forgive you for not being able to look past my mistakes and my flaws. I will never forgive you for treating me the way you are treating me. I will never forgive you for running away from me when I need you most. I will never forgive you for pushing me away.