Breaking up is the hardest thing to do!

[Finzsoftie]

Hi All,

 

Well, I havent been on this site for a while, but I wanted to post something that might be of some help to someone out there, plus I really want to get this off my chest.

 

You can view some of my earlier posts and see what has been happening for the past year, if not and are interested in healing after a break up, well read on.

 

I declare myself as being lucky, many who know me would doubt me in saying that: how do you see yourself as lucky as you went out with someone, who broke your heart, cheated on you, hit you, cheated on you and broke you hear over and over and over again.

 

After an abortion, after a miscarraige after nights of crying, and this carrying on for 3 or so years..... well I think I am still lucky.

 

Breaking up with someone is the hardest thing to do. In every human we try to find something magical, something amazing, and something special. On televisions, in books and magazines, we all see how great Jen and Brad, Justin and Cameron etc etc are doing and we are all striving for the same thing.

 

For 3 years I closed my eyes, for 3 long years I tried to make the person next to me seem to be Brad or Justin, or Antonio or anyone but who he actually was. Girls get too intwined, we all want to be in love. We all want to feel loved. We all want the hodling hands and kissing. We all long for it, to feel it, to be IN IT! But most of the time, what do we actually get? Heartbreak, heart burn...... guys leaving us and telling us that they have changed.... well gues what "nobody changes" at least if they are not given a reason to change.

 

It is true what they saw, once a cheat, always a cheat....... but if a cheat wants to stop being a cheat because of something and something that has happened to them...... then they will.

 

But a tiger will never get rid of it's stripes. Remember this to whoever is reading.

 

Dont make a person who mistreats you seem like your hero. Dont let someone yell at you! Dont let someone laugh at you!

 

Each one of us here, is soooo special....... in so many beautiful different ways. Dont let someone take away your smile! Dont waste a tear over a guy/girl who are mean or said/did something hurtful.

 

Life is sooo short and sooo preacious. I am so happy I am single, but I remember I used to cry soooo much! It is better being single than being with the wrong person.

 

I hope you are all blessed with strength, pride and of course dignity.

 

 

[FreeAgain]

Once a cheat always a cheat may not always be the case. Maybe im being a bit optimistic in people realizing they made a huge mistake and never do it again. But that being said, I would never be able to trust the one who cheated on me again.

 

After a hard breakup it does take time till you get to the point where you feel 'lucky' again. Its just the lonlyness inbetween that we need to adjust to. Once we're happy again with being ourselves and not relying on having to have a companion, this will happen. But in the meantime, there's always the adjustment of no one being their for you.

 

For me, ive had 2 relationships that accounted for 5 and a half of the past 7 years. Now I can do what i went, when i want and dont have to worry about someone relying on me to be their for them daily. But then again, after a day of doing stuff, theirs no one their to talk to when i get home. No one to have coffee with in the morning. until I am happy with (or at least adjusted) to spending my nights and mornings alone, the maybe I'll feel a bit more lucky. I DO know that day waill come. Just takes a bit more time for me

[ydubel]

I just wanted to chime in for second on this one.

 

While I don't doubt it's a hard road to travel I think one of the keys to recovery is finding something new (NOT SOMEONE new) to look forward to each day.

 

Many of the folks I've worked with have found entrepreneurship to be incredibly valuable as a therapeutic recovery tool. Technically, it encompasses all the elements of an effective intervention.

 

Also it's a way to focus on your dreams, talents, and innnate resources and to begin learning new ways of expressing them in the world that do not center around romantic entanglements.

 

You're stronger than you think and you'll back at how far you've come in amazement someday.

 

Wishing you only the best,

Y. Dubel