which comes first his hobby or me?

[preppygirl]

iv been wtih my lovely boyfriend for almost a year now and im so in love with him,he does things that make me smile and expresses he loves me in ways that he never needs say a word,buys me presents..basically hes the best thing ever to happen to me,he feels the same,he tells me how much he loves me...you get it its an awesome relationship,but now i'm starting to feel neglected subconcously by him.

he does wrestling and its his passion,he strives to do the best he can..if theres something that will help him aim higher,he will do whatever it takes to reach it,he just loves it and he wants my support 100% but i cant do it if it means going days even weeks without seeing him whilst he is touring our country or elsewhere,hes done one country already but im so worried hes gonna start drifting apart from me and living his dream without me included,cos im just going to be left here unable to tag along as there is never a possibilty for me to e.g no room in travel bus or whatever,and whilst im here alone im feeling like im not a big part of his life,i would love to be but nowadays im feeling less and less a part that means much anymore.

he tells me its not going to change things and we wil be together but i always wonder where i come into it,as he never seems to talk about things we could do,he just tells me how excited he is about his future matches and how he plans to do this do that,im left so confused half the time i know i should support him,but this seems to be al i can do,let him go off and do his thing,i have no control over him i know i shouldnt stop him but am i to just keep quiet feel lonely and support him and be this perfect girlfriend? it really hurts to support him cos i just feel like crying and saying ''no!! i cant face it!''

im just feeling so left out,i want to tell him howi feel but i tell him how i feel a bit too often i dont want to sound like a drag,i think he understands how i could be upset but still,i feel second best and only half loved,i want to be a big part of his life going along to support him watching what he does but i just dont FEEL that important.any advice?

[Gilgamesh]

Hello preppygirl.

 

Don't feel jealous over what is part of his life, its not a question of whether he loves his sport more than you, you have to stop thinking of this as a hobby, he is an athlete its part of who he is, if he was a business exec. he may be going on business trips, if he were an actor he would be on a set, if he were in the military service, he may be called on to serve, if he were a singer he would go on tour.

 

You must let him be who he is, if he loves you he will love you no matter what the distance may be between you. if you were an artist or writer you may have to go and promote or display your work, would that mean you don't love your boyfriend? does that mean your neglecting him? I'm sure he would respect your life.

 

You two are individuals, you both have your own interests you must learn to accept that everyone has their own interests and actions that define who they are. some experiences you share some you don't, thats OK, you are not clones of each other.

 

Do not make this an issue, you just need to not be so insecure, and mature a little bit. some day you will look back and see how this is of so little importance compared to what is.

 

I want you to think of all those singers, actors, sports stars, writers , traveling sales men, truck drivers, pilots, and hundreds of others that have to leave the ones they love for days or weeks at a time, and thats part of life.

[jestersupriem]

What Gilgamesh has just wrote. This is the only advice you can go by for this matter.