doejan Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Ya know? Sometimes things just fall right into place...or maybe. I just wanted to update on my situation. For those unaware, here's a quick rundown: I've been in a 4.5 month LDR with a guy whom I haven't seen in three months. I met him about 2 weeks after breaking things off with my previous ex because he still had a thing for his ex wife. Exactly two weeks ago I really let my current guy have it, via text, because he'd been neglecting me for a while due to a lot of compounding issues in his life...or so he says. He did not respond. Four days of no contact followed, then I got a very short, inaudible call from him. I texted him the following day, apologizing for a few things I said in the angry texts I sent 5 days prior, yet still holding my ground. I never got a response and I did not attempt to contact him in any way. Yesterday was the 7th day of NC since then. I told myself it was over since I had not heard from him at all. During those 7 days, I called my previous ex's mother whom I was close to. I haven't had contact with her or him in 5 months. I found out that my ex will be graduating from bootcamp later this week and that he contacted his ex wife but she didn't respond (even though she claims she wants him back)..?? He will be stationed overseas 2 weeks after he graduates. Anyway, his mother has some extra hotel rooms reserved so I decided to go. She assured me that he would love to see me. I sent him a letter that he should get by Wednesday at the latest, informing him that I would be coming to his graduation. I also told him to either email me or let his mother know if he preferred that I not come. We'll see if he objects. I figured he's had enough time to reflect and miss me, especially since his ex didn't reciprocate his advance. I figured we might be friends again and maybe I'd get a little slap and tickle (if ya know wha I mean, mon), twirl round the sack a bit, ya know. Now, I know damned well my current guy got those angry texts I sent 2 weeks ago. Yet, he called last night claiming that he had not. He said that his phone just died, (he didn't tell me when though), and that he had to get a new one. Actually he texted me first with, "Is this (my name)?" I replied, "Yes." He called immediately and told me about his phone and how he looked over his phone bill and called all the numbers on it with my area code until he got to me. I didn't believe him but I kept that to myself. I told him that I thought we had broken up because I never heard from him. I believe my texts pissed him off enough to call it quits; that's why he called and said something sarcastic then hung up last Saturday. I believe he deleted my number from his phone with the intention of not calling me back but when he calmed down, realized that I had not called or texted in days (very rare for me), and remembered that I didn't catch whatever it was that he said before hanging up on me Saturday, he decided to make up without having to make up and save face at the same time. He said he didn't hang up on me last Saturday- his phone signal went out instead. I just listened and acknowledged. I learned something tonight that explains why it appears that maybe he has a wife or another woman. For instance, I have yet to go to his house and he only calls me when he's driving. Tonight I told him that a few people I've consulted told me they thought he had a wife and I asked him why he only spoke to me when he was driving. He paused for a moment then he told me that he lived with his mother. Up until tonight I believed that he spent a lot of time at her house whenever he's home from working on the road but I thought he had his own place. We were talking when he went into his house. He opened the door and said, "Hey mom." I heard a woman tell him hi and say something else to him. So pride explains the secretive behavior. He didn't want me to think less of him for living with his mother. It makes sense why it would be practical to live with her since he works out of state for periods of months out of the year as a union boilermaker/welder. He makes great money though so that's not the issue. We had a fairly productive conversation. He asked if we could get together this upcoming weekend. He said that he'd drive down here or I could go up to his place. Well I thought, I'm going to your place to make sure your story checks out....and then I remembered............. I'm most likely going to my previous ex's graduation and will be gone from Thursday until Friday night! So I told my guy that Saturday would be good because I would be out of town until Friday night but I did not tell him where...yet. I texted this to my guy a few hours ago: I think you should know where I'm going Thursday into Friday. It wouldn't be cool for you not to know what's up. I think it is better if discussed over the phone. He will call sometime today I suspect, full of wonder...tee hee. So, here is how I see this situation working for me. When we talk next I'm going to tell him that my previous ex's mother called to invite me to the graduation, and of course I would have turned it down had I believed we were still in a relationship together. I'm going to tell him I believed enough time had passed and since his mother told me he and his ex weren't back together, I though that maybe I could get laid out of the deal because I'm in real need of a man's touch. My current guy knows that I'm highly sexual and considering that I thought we were split I would have been in my right to get some. He knows that I have been faithful to him for the duration of our relationship, and I have. Anyway, I will tell him that if he REALLY doen't want me to go then I won't go though I would hate to stand my ex up since I already sent the letter informing him that I would be there. I will of course make it clear that nothing will happen because we are back together now. He's not going to be happy but he won't have room to object because he knows in his heart that he threw in the towel on us. He won't want to look insecure so he won't tell me not to go. Instead he'll be wondering what I'm up to Thursday and Friday lol. And as a result, he will definitely make that we see each other this weekend. In the future, he will think twice before driving me to walk away because he will think about how it felt to wonder what I was doing with my ex. Now for my previous ex. I may gain him back as a friend which I wouldn't mind at all at this point. Also, I will be looking great and showing him that I am over him and have moved on, (since I won't be open for sex with him). He may possibly wonder why he let me go since it turned out the grass was dead on the other side. YES! NC worked and now I believe I have my current guy right where I want him. Finally, some balance may present itself in this relationship. I have conditions now. I need to make sure he checks out completely. And if he refuses to comply, then I'm out. This weekend, I will go to his place and meet his mother and he will show me a piece of mail with his name and address to prove he lives there. I will thank him for being honest with me about his living arrangements and encourage him to continue opening up to me. I'm going to also let him know that I will be doing a background check on him. We will agree on when we will see each other next and how often we will try to talk inbetween. We will make a pact in blood! If he is serious about me like he claims then he won't have a problem with my requests. I think it's possibly a true win/win situation for me. We shall see, oh we shall see. Any thoughts/suggestions or predictions are welcomed...Thank you! Link to comment
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