SadAndy Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 Most of you on here will know my story but for anyone who doesn't I shall recap. I was with my ex for 14 yrs from the age of 19 (both of us) up until 4 months ago (age 33). We have a daughter who was born 8 years ago and we were each others 'first love'. My ex had a 6 month affair with my best mate 5 years ago and upon finding this out I stayed with her and tried my best to work through it. She has now dumped me for a 21 year old bloke who moved in more or less straight away and is now taking my mortgage over. She has known him for about 6 months. They are seriously talking about marriage and kids very soon. She then decided to 'come clean' about the fact that she has been having an affair with the original bloke (from the first time) for the last 18 months! Anyway, my question is......After about 5 weeks from breaking up with me she temporarily 'dumped' the new bloke claiming that 'he is lovely but he isn't you' and 'i don't know which one i love'. This was about 9 weeks ago. She attended one 'relate' counselling meeting and decided she would chose him. She is now making a very big thing of telling everyone that she 'doesn't love Andy anymore'. She is pretty much telling everyone who will listen and is saying that she simply 'fell out of love with me' rather than her affairs etc playing a far bigger part. I am at a point where I really didn't think i would get to so fast where I am actually disgusted with her behaviour and whilst sad that it happened, us splitting up for good is the only option. I am simply intrigued as to why she is going to almost extreme efforts to make it clear that she 'likes me but doesn't love me anymore' when the simple fact that we had split up would suffice. I do not think that she will ever regret splitting up and leaving all that she had and infact life for her is great right now. I am just wondering how she can go from being so unsure as to who she 'loves' the most to being seriously in love with him and seriously out of love with me within a couple of weeks. Is it possible that deep down she is still slightly unsure and is trying to convince herself? I'm only asking as I have arrived at a point where I think of her as a cold hearted, cunning, almost evil person to have deceived everyone for so long and i'm wondering if i'm being a little unfair or not. Your views........ Link to comment
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