Going to bars/clubs alone?

[Agent47]

Question... If a guy goes to a bar or club by himself would that make him more or less attractive to girls there? I would tend to think less because the girls would probably be thinking "what a looser, this guy is here by himself." But then again it could also be a good thing because the girls might think you're more approachable since you're not surrounded by a group of your friends. Which may make them more likely to approach or flirt with you. Anybody have any experience going to bars alone? Im interested to know how it worked out. If I can get a females perspective here about what you think when you see a guy at a bar by himself, that would be great.

[The Morrigan]

Just off the top, I think it might partly depend on the time of day and the scene a little, but for the most part, the attitude you go in with. Going for a drink earlier on, after work, for example, alone wouldn't be a big deal at all, and could be a plus as long as you're not buried in a paper or something. Even later, I can think of several ways you wouldn't look like a lone loser, one being sitting at the bar itself, where you're not taking a table looking isolated, or standing and circulating, even make casual conversation with other people that don't look super confident about being there. Even people who come in a group don't always feel like they "belong" or feel left out a bit, and are only too happy to have someone to strike up a conversation with, both guys and girls. As a matter of fact, it's sometimes less intimidating to strike up conversations with someone of the same sex initially if you're not used to it.

[disEnchantid]

hey agent

I have wondered the same thing myself, but from a female perspective...so what are people's thoughts about bar loners? haha, help out those of us lacking bar-buddies...is it ok to go by yourself? even if you are a girl?

 

thanks

[wlfpack81]

I wouldn't go out to a bar alone (bad enough doing to the stinking movies alone). You look like a total loser IMO being at a bar, resturant and even movies alone. To me it shows that I'm such a loser that I can't even bring a friend let alone a g/f out with me. Society says we're supposed to have someone (even damn animals have mates) and I tend to agree that if you go to these places alone it looks bad. Harsh but hey it's only MY opinion and that's what you wanted. And most likely everyone else will tell you it's okay to make you feel better but I don't mind being the only one to tell you the other side of the story.

[xxatti]

I wouldn't go out to a bar alone (bad enough doing to the stinking movies alone). You look like a total loser IMO being at a bar, resturant and even movies alone. To me it shows that I'm such a loser that I can't even bring a friend let alone a g/f out with me. Society says we're supposed to have someone (even damn animals have mates) and I tend to agree that if you go to these places alone it looks bad. Harsh but hey it's only MY opinion and that's what you wanted. And most likely everyone else will tell you it's okay to make you feel better but I don't mind being the only one to tell you the other side of the story.

 

See, going to the movies or a restuarant is totally different from a bar because a bar is a social atmosphere. You really cant talk during a movie, and you cant jump from table to table in a restaurant trying to meet people. In a bar things are different because it's conducive to social interaction. Some bars are so popular and packed with so many people that I doubt you'd be able to tell if somebody was there by themselves.

[The Morrigan]

*shrugs* I've gone on my own often, generally though, places I've been before, and smaller ones I'm familiar to the regulars, if not friends per se. When you're a regular somewhere, you can casually chat with people and not stand out as being alone. now, if you sit at a table by your lonesome, nursing a beer, and looking desperate or mopey, the only attention you'll attract then is PITY, not desireable. If you yourself aren't comfortable and feel awkward, it will show. And that will make you much less attractive.

[may222]

u know the guy is more approachable and able to take home with if it gets hot and heave never happened to me but i am waiting for that time

 

u should flirt 2 girls love it when a guy makes the first move u can come in with a couple of friends but keep some distence away from then through out the evening....

 

may

[wlfpack81]

...Some bars are so popular and packed with so many people that I doubt you'd be able to tell if somebody was there by themselves.

 

Well, being I'm extremely actually deathly shy I'd still be a wallflower on the corner b/c I'd be too nervous to go up and talk to a girl let alone anyone else. Especially if they're surrounded with other friends b/c that could be seen as a unwanted advance. If people want you to join their network of friends they'll normally invite ya in ya know. So again other than the movies I would never go to a bar or club alone. The few times I have gone to the club has been with a group and it was better that way.

[Agent47]

u know the guy is more approachable and able to take home with if it gets hot and heave never happened to me but i am waiting for that time

 

If this is true I will definitely try going to bars alone.

 

u should flirt 2 girls love it when a guy makes the first move u can come in with a couple of friends but keep some distence away from then through out the evening....

 

may

I think you have a point here. If you just hang around the friends you came with all night, you're not really going to meet anybody. Its not like you can have your friend hold your hand while you're trying to talk to a girl.

[Agent47]

I wouldn't go out to a bar alone (bad enough doing to the stinking movies alone). You look like a total loser IMO being at a bar, resturant and even movies alone. To me it shows that I'm such a loser that I can't even bring a friend let alone a g/f out with me. Society says we're supposed to have someone (even damn animals have mates) and I tend to agree that if you go to these places alone it looks bad.

 

I can't go to a restaurant by myself, I just cant. It's depressing. But ironically, the few times I've had to do it, I ended up with a really cool waiter (or on one special occasion a Swedish waitress) to keep me company. I still want to kick myself for not hooking up with that waitress. Now, I'll go to the movies by myself. I actually prefer to do so because you dont have somebody whispering in your ear the entire time while you're trying to enjoy the movie. But I'll only do this during the daytime to catch the matinee. I wont go by myself at night. That would be really depressing.

[Lily04]

Hey,

 

I've always gone with my friends, and I think most people do but I don't think it's that bad going alone. I wouldn't think any less of you if you went alone. I'm not sure, but I think more older guys go alone to pick up girls at bars (not so much clubs). By older, I mean mid-late 20s, early 30s. I think guys in their early 20s are too shy to go by themselves yet, if they were considering it. I know a couple of friends who are in law school go by themselves on occasion, although they're very confident & talkative and witty and usually don't have a problem striking up convos with people. If you appear confident I don't think you should have a problem, as someone else said. I'm not sure if it's true with girls..I think most girls go with friends, although I've considered going by myself to bars. If you go to a bar when there's a party going on, because of a sports game [i.e. EURO 2004!! (going on now if you're clueless about soccer)] and just go when it's packed and there's so many ppl. they won't even know. Plus there's the game to occupy you and strike up convos. about. just don't be a wallflower, find another girl who's drinking alone or seems approachable & go for it!

[wlfpack81]

...Now, I'll go to the movies by myself........But I'll only do this during the daytime to catch the matinee. I wont go by myself at night. That would be really depressing.

 

Like I did tonite. Went to see the new Vin Disel movie tonite (was actually decent btw) and man it sucked to walk in the theater and see everyone sitting with someone and my sorry arse their alone. Yea from now on I'm going to the Sun afternoon shows of movies since I know the theather won't be crowded since most people will be in church at that time.