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Gym guy makes me wanna scream

IGlareOften

By IGlareOften
in Dating Advice

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IGlareOften Contributor

IGlareOften

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I posted before about this guy. If you'd like a back story please see my previous post:

 

 

Update: I finally worked up the nerve to ask him to hang out for coffee or whatever. He said yes. That "We could entertain each other and I know I'll definitely learn a lot from you."

 

So, that was last monday. I saw him the day after..he was working out with someone and I didn't feel free to go up and talk to him and he obviously didn't feel the same. He wasn't at the gym Wed, Thurs-Sun I worked like 43 hours. So, I didn't make it to the gym until this Monday. Well, I saw him there.

 

I did a scam of the gym when I was taking a rest from a weight machine. I was looking at some chick with a green mo-hawk. Somehow, as I was looking back at my machine, I caught his glance. He waved at me and smiled all awkward and goofy. I waved back but I don't remember smiling. HA.

 

Well, I moved to a machine and started using that. Before I knew it he was next to me. I finished my set and looked up. I took out my ear buds and he was like...

 

OMG, what are you listening to?

Me: Uhhh...Music?

Him: Wow, it's loud. I could it hear it from over there.

Me: OMG, I'm sorry.

Him: don't apologize. I was just like..wow.

Me: cool.

Him: So, how was your weekend?

 

We made small talk. I told him about my crazy long weekend at work. He told me about his weekend. We talked a little more and he ended it with

 

"Well, I just wanted to come over and say hey to you."

 

Okay, men are as confusing as women. I ask him to hang, he says yes....but I forget to give him my number. He doesn't ask for it either. He comes over, on purpose, to talk to me. And asks about my weekend(Probably thinking he didn't see me all weekend and wondered why)

 

My plan of action from here? I'm going to go up to him, hand him my number, and say "Here's my number. Call me when you're ready to have coffee or a drink."

 

What should I think here? Besides annoyance? Does he like me or not? I'm all confoooooooosled. Should I even do that? Give him my number. GUYS....feedback!

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IGlareOften Contributor

IGlareOften

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I would say screw it and make him ask. See if he really wants to hang out or not. If he doesn't, there's always another cute gym guy around the corner.

 

 

This is true. There are many hot boys at the gym. However, I'm very abrasive and stand offish. In his own defense, he is probably receiving mixed signals from yours truly. If I give him my number and he still doesn't call....that warrants me telling him he's a boo boo head. then I will move onto the the short guy who looks like Kris Allen.

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metafisics Rookie

metafisics

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This is true. There are many hot boys at the gym. However, I'm very abrasive and stand offish. In his own defense, he is probably receiving mixed signals from yours truly. If I give him my number and he still doesn't call....that warrants me telling him he's a boo boo head. then I will move onto the the short guy who looks like Kris Allen.

 

Oh my word, you and me are in a very similar situation. We also go to the same gym. I have not ask him out though. I know he likes me and wont elaborate on that as it would be too long. I'm also a bit stand offish, but I made things easy for him by introducing myself. For some reason he hasnt spoken to me since last wedns, except for greeting. Yesterday he seemed nervous around me and I refuse to make things any easier for him. He either ask me out or he doesnt.

 

I unfortunately cant move on to the same guy though. He's not the best looking guy at the gym, but the chemistry I feel for him is unbelievable. Trust me that doesnt happen often for me. My pride wont allow me to make another move though.

 

What on earth happened to men?! Why is it that we have to an "All systems go" before they make a move. Sorry I wouldnt give him my number if I were you. Let him do some work for Christ sake! I they suppose to be the hunters?!

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Baily Apprentice

Baily

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guys LOVE a woman who is willing to ask us out...

it doesn't mean we think you are easy...we think you have confidence...and that's a big plus.

 

women: don't ever be afraid to ask a guy out...odds are he's going to like you 100X's more for doing it.

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metafisics Rookie

metafisics

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guys LOVE a woman who is willing to ask us out...

it doesn't mean we think you are easy...we think you have confidence...and that's a big plus.

 

women: don't ever be afraid to ask a guy out...odds are he's going to like you 100X's more for doing it.

 

Its a handful who think like that. We are told everyday that guys like being hunters. I've also heared of many situation where a woman approached a guy and they subsequently take for granted.

 

Besides, we want to be pursued, that way we will not forever wonder whether the man really wanted us, or they decided to go out with us because we brought ourselves in a platter. My apologies for generalising, but men are generally less picky than women.

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IGlareOften Contributor

IGlareOften

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I agree, to an extent. In a lot of ways, I'd subscribe to that. However, I've had many men tell me their opinions of me. The consensus? I'm kind of intimidating. I've heard words like "Strict, abrasive and buddy buddy" thrown around. The fact that the dude has talked to me as long as he has...shows some balls. Again, in his defense, he has talked to me for about three months. Each time coming up to me and talking to me. Out of 3 mths, I've gone up to him a total of twice. So, I think it's my turn to give a little. He's done most of the work so far...(initiating almost all the conversations) So, me giving my number and saying.."When you're down for coffee, text me." is not a big deal. Plus, I think he's worth the extra work. I've grown to really like who he is. He's very kind and that's mucho goodo in my book.

 

 

 

I've heard that so many places. Something I failed to mention is I have a little helper in the man depo. My brother is like my little relationship fairy. He's giving me the guy side of all of this to help me understand stuff. He thinks I should give my number. I kind of agree. He's been right, thus far, with all the stuff with gym guy.

 

However, dude. If a girl you weren't interested, asked you to hang out, would you say yes? If you liked her as a friend..but she was kind of obvious with her intent as more than a friend?

 

 

 

Well, I have two choices here. I could sit and play stupid power games and potentially miss out on weeks and months of getting to know him. Or I could swallow my pride, be a woman and make a move. I'm a chick, sure. The whole stigma is for me to be the chasee....however....*shrug* I'd much prefer to know him now than later. And if that requires me giving him my number because he (could be shy....or scared of rejection) hasn't asked for my number or whatever..so be it. Maybe. I'm talking all big and bad now....we'll see what happens....

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metafisics Rookie

metafisics

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Well, I have two choices here. I could sit and play stupid power games and potentially miss out on weeks and months of getting to know him. Or I could swallow my pride, be a woman and make a move. I'm a chick, sure. The whole stigma is for me to be the chasee....however....*shrug* I'd much prefer to know him now than later. And if that requires me giving him my number because he (could be shy....or scared of rejection) hasn't asked for my number or whatever..so be it. Maybe. I'm talking all big and bad now....we'll see what happens....

 

Hey, I'd say right ahead, as long as its something you're comfortable with. When doing something you're comfortable with, you can never regret the outcome whatever it is.

 

By the way, I'm sure there have been developments by now. It would great to hear what they are.

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IGlareOften Contributor

IGlareOften

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Hey, I'd say right ahead, as long as its something you're comfortable with. When doing something you're comfortable with, you can never regret the outcome whatever it is.

 

By the way, I'm sure there have been developments by now. It would great to hear what they are.

 

 

Well, I finally gave him my number. On Wednesday I did a cardio class and it kicked my butt. I almost threw up. So, my face was reflecting that desire not to throw up. I guess I walked by him and didn't even notice. Well, later he came up to me and was like.."are you okay?"

I said, "Yeah, I'm okay." He said "Just okay?" I said "Yeah, why? He said.."Well, earlier your face looked really upset, I wanted to make sure you were okay." I told about my need to vomit. etc. He laughed and backed up and was like" you're sure you're settled now" Anyway...we started to talk. I was like.."Oh hey. Whenever you're down for that drink, call me."

 

He was like "Oh thanks. I thought that night, after I got home, man I forgot to get her number. So, this is good."

 

Now, he hasn't called me. It's been like 3 days. I'm not freaking out yet. But, I'm kinda like..uhhh.

I think you have a good plan. You already did the hard part of asking him out and he said yes. Walk up to him and say "Oh, dopey me! Here's my number..." If/when he calls you, you'll have your answer as to his interest.

 

True story. The interest seems obvious by the way he talks to me. I'm just curious/leary or why he hasn't made a move, ya know? If he wasn't interested he could make up something like "It's not appropriate for me to hang out with people I meet at work" because really, if he blows me off..he has to see me like 4-6 times a week at the gym. So, either he's interested or dumb. We'll see which one it is.

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IGlareOften Contributor

IGlareOften

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I'm glad you're not panicking, give it till next week. There are a number of reasons why people dont call you soon after you give them your number and they are not all negative!

 

All the best!!

 

According to "He's just not THAT into you" if after a week, he hasn't called me..he's not gonna call me. I'll reserve my freak out for Wednesday.

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theStig Rookie

theStig

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This is true. There are many hot boys at the gym. However, I'm very abrasive and stand offish. In his own defense, he is probably receiving mixed signals from yours truly. If I give him my number and he still doesn't call....that warrants me telling him he's a boo boo head. then I will move onto the the short guy who looks like Kris Allen.

 

Ask the short guy.. 'cause they need lovin' too.

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theStig Rookie

theStig

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Its a handful who think like that. We are told everyday that guys like being hunters. I've also heared of many situation where a woman approached a guy and they subsequently take for granted.

 

Besides, we want to be pursued, that way we will not forever wonder whether the man really wanted us, or they decided to go out with us because we brought ourselves in a platter. My apologies for generalising, but men are generally less picky than women.

 

False. False. False. False. False. False.

 

I would jizz in my pants if a female ever asked me out.

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red_ridinghood Newbie

red_ridinghood

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I may be a bit old-fashioned, but I do think that a woman shouldn't ask the man out. Act a little differently. Draw him in a little more (by moving further away). If you want a potentially lasting relationship with him, it's useful to establish the roles you take in the relationship asap.

 

If you are the chaser, trust me, no matter what you do - later on you will get sick of his passive role.

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IGlareOften Contributor

IGlareOften

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I may be a bit old-fashioned, but I do think that a woman shouldn't ask the man out. Act a little differently. Draw him in a little more (by moving further away). If you want a potentially lasting relationship with him, it's useful to establish the roles you take in the relationship asap.

 

If you are the chaser, trust me, no matter what you do - later on you will get sick of his passive role.

 

Perhaps, but I don't think the roles are automatically established from the beginning. They constantly change. That's been my experience. I'm not too worried about it. I think we're in an ever changing world, gender speaking. It's 2010....women can ask men out.

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