co-dependancy and relationships

[woolen_mittens]

I hate it so much. I become so involved and attached to a guy so quickly (note, I don't date many guys, I'm very much a LTR person). I manage to keep up a facade of being cool and not clingy for a few weeks, but then as soon as they show some kind of small sign that maybe they aren't interested, I go in to panic mode and feel depressed and obsessed that they've lost interest.

 

For example, I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. He is one of the most lovely guys I've ever met. We have so much to talk about, we make each other laugh and we just generally enjoy each others company. He instigated a lot of the contact/dates/staying at his place, although I also made effort too, I wanted to not seem clingy but I also showed that I was very much interested and like being around him. He even brought "us" up last weekend, asking what the deal was and what was happening. I said I like him a lot and would like to keep seeing him and he agreed.

 

We met up and went out to dinner last night and he just seemed a little different and distant. I just got this vibe that maybe he wasn't as interested as he was before. We still had amazing sex that night and were super cuddly and affectionate....but still...it just felt like something was wrong. Then this morning we had breakfast and I asked what he was up to tonight and he said he has a lot of accounting work to do for his business and he didn't sugest us meeting up or anything, which I found strange.

 

A mutual friend of ours mentioned the other day how he's quite shocked that I like him and that he is trying to be cool about it all, maybe he's just trying to take it slow? I don't know.

 

I made the mistake of sending him a text asking him if everything is ok and that he can tell me if he's feeling unsure about things (he hasn't responded yet).

 

But this small bump has just made me feel so upset and insecure, I hate being this way!!! I've come a long way and done a lot of growing, read up on co-cependancy and at least now I'm aware of how I am.....

 

I've been in situations where guys have been with me but not really been interested in me anymore and I have to force it out of them that yes, they actually would like to break up but didn't want to say anything. I guess that makes me extra paranoid. I prefer people to just be honest!

 

If anyone has any words of wisdom, please by all means share!

[faithful14]

I think he's interested in you because he asked you last weekend where you guys stood in the relationship. So obviously he does have some sort of interest. Maybe he's acting weird because he has a lot of work to do and it's stressing him out. If this is the only thing he has been acting weird about, I would give him the benefit of the doubt and wait till he calls you. If he is continually doing it, then I would ask him what's up.

 

So for now, just be cool and see what he says. Don't fret so much. Go out with your friends and have some fun.

 

If he has lost interest, then so be it. You have only been dating for a few weeks and it may hurt at first but you will be fine in the end. Just don't worry too much.