TSandullo Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Hey all. I like to post the odd humorous post on this forum to lighten up the mood at times. This collections of ancient writ are from my own making. Only upon completion did I discover such 'commandments' already exist on other forums and there is actually a book called the breakup bible. So before I get flamed for unoriginality....up yours. I wrote these myself. Have fun friends. Wishing you all a happy life. ___________________________________________________________________ THE DUMPEE'S TEN COMMANDMENTS as revealed unto TS on mount sigh-nigh and engraved onto two antidepressant tablets: "You are the dumpee, fair and true" "Thy shall not make thy ex as the image of your ultimate and true happiness" "Thy shall not swear at thy ex but rather be polite and civil" "Thy have had happiness before meeting the ex and will be happy again" "Thy shall not make wrongful use of of past mementos or nude pictures of the ex as blackmail" "Honor thy body and mind and keep them both active" "Thy shall not immediately covet another in the hopes of numbing the pain that follows" "You shall not bear witness to your ex's facebook or myspace activities" "Covet not thy ex's best friend as a means of revenge" "Thy shall not murder the ex...yet..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment
TSandullo Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 Oh! And add your own ones as well! Every little helps! TS Link to comment
Battlescar Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Hilarious!! Especially the last one... What about Thy shall not cause property damage to Thy Ex's house, car, or mother Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 and... "Thou shalt not send abusive messages to ex in the deluded belief that this will win them back" "Nasty messages left on public forums for the ex will make you look like a plonker. Keep your dignity" Link to comment
TSandullo Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 Considering an incident two minutes ago, I would like to add another rule "Thy shall not approach thy ex to casually say hi when in an unhealed state only to feel bummed out when walking away..." Link to comment
notsomuch Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thy shalt not drink and dile. Link to comment
fLuiD Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thy shall convince thyself that the ex is gone forever. Link to comment
TSandullo Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 "Thou shalt move on" hmm...simple yet powerful. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 hmm...simple yet powerful. Sometimes, determination is what you need. Link to comment
Starbourne Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shalt go no contact. Link to comment
TSandullo Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 yeah...and alan partridge 24/7... Love Coogan. Link to comment
Brigadoon Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shalt not google "how do I send spam to someones email address?" and then follow the instructions Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 "Thou shalt watch through the entire series of Battlestar Galactica, all 73 episodes, in order to not think about my ex" (It worked for me anyway, for a few weeks) Link to comment
iBroken Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thy shalt not drink and dile. Ha - this one is the best so far LOL Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shall not drive by ex's house at 4am to see if she/he is home Thou shall not get out of car and touch car hood to see if ex's engine is warm Link to comment
Mauxly Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shalt not answer thy ex's booty calls. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shall not drive by ex's house at 4am to see if she/he is home Thou shall not get out of car and touch car hood to see if ex's engine is warm Oh my goodness...lol. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shalt not google "how do I send spam to someones email address?" and then follow the instructions lol Brig! This made me laugh. Thy shalt not be 'friends' with them to 'be around' just in case. ](*,) Thy shalt not cyberstalk them...(only to find out what you didn't want to know) Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shall not get out of car and touch car hood to see if ex's engine is warm Dude. Really? Thou shall Practice gratitude Link to comment
brandnewday47 Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thou shall not get out of car and touch car hood to see if ex's engine is warm Ha Ha Ha!! Awesome!! --- Thou shall not preach reason and wisdom to ex after significant quantities of ale. Edit: though this is sort of the same version of Thy shalt not drink and dile. --- Great thread btw TS! You have a good way of bringing laughs to this sometimes morbid forum. Link to comment
TSandullo Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Ha Ha Ha!! Awesome!! Great thread btw TS! You have a good way of bringing laughs to this sometimes morbid forum. Thank BND47, I guess though we all go through a pile of sh;t in life, a good laugh can really raise spirits, even of the more suicidal dumpees. My dad told me a joke about him at the age of 19 not being able to * * * * for 3 days straight once, and listening to that 'story' of his made me buckle over. Thanks Pops. Don't die soon. And Scott, great one about the car bonnet!!! I have one to follow on that one: "Thy shall not stand sorrowfully outside the ex's house at night and watch the figures swaying in the light as steam gathers on the windows..." Have a great weekend all. TS Link to comment
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