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Humour - "The Dumpee's Ten Commandments" - Follow and thy shall be saved!!!!!!


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Hey all.


I like to post the odd humorous post on this forum to lighten up the mood at times.


This collections of ancient writ are from my own making.

Only upon completion did I discover such 'commandments' already exist on other forums and there is actually a book called the breakup bible.


So before I get flamed for unoriginality....up yours. I wrote these myself.

Have fun friends.


Wishing you all a happy life.






as revealed unto TS on mount sigh-nigh and engraved onto two antidepressant tablets:



"You are the dumpee, fair and true"


"Thy shall not make thy ex as the image of your ultimate and true happiness"


"Thy shall not swear at thy ex but rather be polite and civil"


"Thy have had happiness before meeting the ex and will be happy again"


"Thy shall not make wrongful use of of past mementos or nude pictures of the ex as blackmail"


"Honor thy body and mind and keep them both active"


"Thy shall not immediately covet another in the hopes of numbing the pain that follows"


"You shall not bear witness to your ex's facebook or myspace activities"


"Covet not thy ex's best friend as a means of revenge"


"Thy shall not murder the ex...yet..."



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Thou shall not get out of car and touch car hood to see if ex's engine is warm


Ha Ha Ha!! Awesome!!




Thou shall not preach reason and wisdom to ex after significant quantities of ale.


Edit: though this is sort of the same version of


Thy shalt not drink and dile.




Great thread btw TS! You have a good way of bringing laughs to this sometimes morbid forum.

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Ha Ha Ha!! Awesome!!


Great thread btw TS! You have a good way of bringing laughs to this sometimes morbid forum.


Thank BND47, I guess though we all go through a pile of sh;t in life, a good laugh can really raise spirits, even of the more suicidal dumpees.


My dad told me a joke about him at the age of 19 not being able to * * * * for 3 days straight once, and listening to that 'story' of his made me buckle over.


Thanks Pops. Don't die soon.


And Scott, great one about the car bonnet!!!


I have one to follow on that one:

"Thy shall not stand sorrowfully outside the ex's house at night and watch the figures swaying in the light as steam gathers on the windows..."


Have a great weekend all.



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