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Please HELP ME...??


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I have a serious problem that I need some strong advice on. I have been seeing my present boyfriend for 9 months now. We always said we wanted to have a child together and now we have been blessed with one. I only found out 2 weeks ago and I am 11 weeks gone. The problem is i didnt know that my boyfriends family would not apporove of it. Fair enough I know he and his family are muslim and sex before marriage is not acceptable, esspecially with a non muslim. So i have the problem of him not being able to tell his family and that really irritates because I want my first child, infact all of my children to have both sides of their family there for them but I cannot see this happening. Also my family were very happy about the pregnancy at first but because me and my boyfriend tend to have a lot of arguments and problems, he has been banned from coming round my house and I have been asked to move out and set up home with him if I continue to see him. My family are right to say that he is not welcome round the house because he has been violent towards me in the past and this is not acceptable in my families home. And on top of that my EX boyfriend of 4 years has recently found out about my new partner and is furious to find out about how I have been treated, he wants me to have an abortion and leave him. I am so weak and confused. I have had an abortion once before when I was 16. I was pregnant with my EX boyfriends baby at the time but we both felt I was too young to have a baby at that age. Now I have a big decision to make I love my boyfrind so much I have never loved anyone as much as i do him but he has got an anger problem which i am trying to get him help with. He is willing to get help also. I wouldnt bother with the stress if i didnt love him and I know he loves me so much as he refuses to let me go. If he found out about what my EX boyfriend wants me to do, all hell would break loose. I just want someone with their head screwed on to give me some much needed advice. Baring in mind all i ever wanted was to have my own family and be happy with the one im with but their are so many consquenses its unbeliveable! Please help me.. My options are to rather.. Have my baby, move out, loose all contact with my EX who only cares about me and wants the best for me and not be as close with my family. Aslo having to deal with the fact that my asian boyfriends family may never want anything to do with me or our child. OR option two.. Have an abortion, leave my current boyfriend, have some solcial problems on the street as it wouldnt be a NO BAD FEELINGS BREAK UP, be left heart broken and have to go through the horrible regret stage of having another abortion when i have only been blessed with what i wanted in the first place. Before i get any responses please bare inmind that I know i have not thought this through properly and I have learnt a valuble lesson. It was irresponsible and stupid but please right now I just need some good advice from someone. Please. Thank you

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From the outside, I must admit this looks like a no-brainer. This guy hits you, he has anger problems, his family will never ever accept you, your family also don't like him, you'll have to move out if you want to stay with him... besides the fact that you say you love him, are there really any reasons to still be with him? Everything else aside - no matter what his anger issues, no one should ever hit their partner. Will he hit your child too?


If you're determined to have your baby then that does not mean you have to stay with him. He'd have to be in your life, assuming he wants to see his child, but that doesn't mean you have to move out with him. Why be with someone who causes a rift between you and your loved ones, and is violent towards you?


I would strongly suggest you separate the idea that it's either abortion + leave him or baby + stay with him. You can always keep the baby and leave him.

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Picture this: your child is now five years old, you and your boyfriend have a fight, and he pushes you down the stairs, and your child sees this. Or, he has an anger attack, and strangles you while your kid is saying daddy please stop you're killing mommy. Does this sound like a good scenario to you?


You are only 19. Why did you want a baby so early? Do you have a job? Do you have money to support yourself and your baby? Do you think you can give the child everything he/she needs? Are you ready to give up your life completely and dedicate it to your child? Are you OK with knowing that your boyfriend might walk out of your life for good and want nothing to do with you or the baby and that you are going to have to look after this baby yourself?


Also, your only option is not abortion. You could also give it up for adoption.

Or you could raise the baby as a single mother, but the first thing I would do is get away from this abusive POS.

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