Case of the EX

[TroubledTwenties]

Hello all,

 

It's been a long while since I've posted anything on here. I was doing so well after my ex and I broke up. I was going out and doing things, I was having more fun, I was in an overall better state of mind. Then I had a moment of weakness, and I got on messenger again, only to have him talk to me.

 

He proceeded in saying things like he missed me and that he's thought about me, etc. He's currently dating a girl 3 years younger than we are(not that that makes a difference). I can't help but think though that he wanted me to succeed and make something of my life and yet she dropped out of school to get her GED and all she's doing now is working. Not that those things are bad, it's just that well...I'm upset by the fact that I had to be so much BETTER, like no matter what I did it was still out of reach. He said his new girlfriend looks just like me and that he's almost called her my name several times. He told me he missed my supportiveness and that only time will tell if we're supposed to be together.

 

I feel so bad...I've been dating my best friend for less than a month now, and he's a WONDERFUL guy. Gorgeous, smart, fun loving, and the most caring man I've ever met, but for some reason all I can think about is my ex boyfriend. The fact that my new boyfriend lives like 3 hours away and my ex lives right down the road doesn't help any either. I get so frustrated for the way I'm feeling and now I totally sympathize with those men that say "nice guys finish last" My current boyfriend is one of those nice guys and for some reason, I can't get my ex (who has a tendency to be a major jerk) out of my head or my heart. I NEVER want to hurt my boyfriend, but I don't know what to do.

 

I'm asking the forum for some advice.....I really want my relationship with my current boyfriend to work out. How do I go about forgetting my ex and moving on so I can have a fulfilling life with my boyfriend? Should I just not date anyone (tell my current boyfriend that I need time) that way no one gets hurt? Any and all answers would be greatly appreciated. I am in such turmoil that I feel I'm getting sick...

[DAVO11]

im not very good with this kind of subjects, but ill try and help in some way.

 

I think your in love with your ex still,i think you know that any way. There is no point going out with some one you dont really care for and dont really love. But in the end the choice is yours.

 

I hope you all the best in the future and good luck.

 

David

[woobiegirl]

I'm sorry your in such a confused state of mind...but he's playing head games with you. If he meant all of the things he said while talking on messenger, he would be making an effort o meet with you in person....to express his feelings and see if there was a chance to work it out and get back together...and not tell you when he happens to catch you on line. He may very well be finding out you were the real treasure in his life and by telling you he still cares he's trying to put your life on hold in case he decides his new g/f isn't working out. But you need to consider that there's always the chance if he came back he would leave again when the mood hit him. The wondering may be worse than moving forward in the direction your heading.

 

He told me he missed my supportiveness and that only time will tell if we're supposed to be together.

 

It isn't only about HIM....he doesn't "get it"....what he's really saying is that after he's done playing, he might want to come back...it doesn't work that way. Be sure to let him know that you have allot to offer to the right person and your not interested in being a 2nd string. He's not being straight with you OR the girl he's with now.

 

Be grateful for the special person in your life right now, they are hard to find...but if you're not sure of your true feelings then you need to give it some honest thought. The distance is definitely adding some challenges with your current b/f. Be careful what you wish for, ...sometimes we "think" we want our ex back, when in reality they created allot of stress and turmoil in the relationship...don't confuse it with love ...because should they come back you may quickly realize you have been better off without him. Sometimes we want ex's back just because of our pride and we can't figure out why they want to be with someone who doesn't have as much to offer as we do, or treat them as well as we did, and the list goes on....then when the ex figures out the same thing...they come running back. Don't be too quick to forget and forgive, you are too special and deserve someone who recognizes all those wonderful qualities you have and returns the feelings.

 

My vote would be to move on...and do whatever it takes to convince yourself.

 

Good luck!

Woobiegirl

[Meow18]

I think you should just have no contact with him. That seemed to have been working before. You just need to try to stop thinking about him. Have you seen your boyfriend since? I think once you see your boyfriend again, it will remind you how much you like him & you will forget about your ex again.

[ShuShu Fontana]

Block him on IM. It took me alomst a year to do this myself, but my ex would IM me every day and I wasn't getting over him with this daily contact. ANd he was the one with a new long distance girlfriend. The only way you're going to get over him is to not have any contact with him. If he really wanted to be with you he would ditch the chick he's with and come find you. He wants attention and he wants to see if he still has some kind of back up plan with you in case this doesn't work out with the new girl. If he is truly confused it's something he needs to figure out on his own without your help

 

Mske the choice that you want to be with your current boyfriend and stop contacting your ex, and don't let him contact you. I need to take the same advice.