glucoze Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Does anyone else have serious regret even till this day, that you never told the person you like/love them because of fear of whatever sort, only til they are gone. Doesn't it hurt? Dammit. I regret it. I mean I didn't know him too well.. I regret not telling him that I like him. Even if he would reject me. I regret it and I really don't know what else to feel besides like huge * * * * . Damn my slight shyness and fear! Link to comment
newwave Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Yes. The guy I loved now I've loved since I met him over 15 years ago. He had let me know then he wanted me but I was scared (though I fantasized about marrying and having children with him). Now we reconnected and he's so scarred from a bad relationship he never wants to get serious again. Had I told him then I wanted him he never would have met the one who scarred him and I wouldn't be alone at 39, hoping he comes back and trying to go on with my life. Link to comment
glucoze Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 That is so heart breaking ... So hopefully if I ever see him. I must say something? Link to comment
newwave Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 That is so heart breaking ... So hopefully if I ever see him. I must say something? Yes because you never know. I keep hoping that in my case it does work out, but if it doesn't, I'll always feel empty. Sort of reminds me of those movies where a couple loves each other but can't be together for whatever reason and marry people they don't really love. That's my biggest fear. Link to comment
glucoze Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 Yes, thats exactly what it reminds me of. I don't want to scare him though I mean.. Ugh it's just eating away at me. Are you with anyone? Link to comment
Go Habs Go Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 I consider myself fortunate to have never been in that situation. But, if you have feelings for someone, let them be known. Even if they don't feel the same way, at least you know and it's better than going the rest of your life wondering "what if". Link to comment
glucoze Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 See I always believed in that statement.. But it's hard. I am afraid of rejection. But now I know it's now or never. Link to comment
newwave Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Yes, thats exactly what it reminds me of. I don't want to scare him though I mean.. Ugh it's just eating away at me. Are you with anyone? Me? no, but am going to start dating again. I just keep hoping he comes back but he hasn't called me in over 5 weeks so I'm kind of losing faith that he will. I keep asking myself why didn't I tell him this years ago? Maybe we'd be married and have kids and I wouldn't be spending time on a dating advice website. Link to comment
Staple Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Wish I had the guts to tell this one girl I really like her. Link to comment
addictedblue Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 OP what was the situation with the guy? Link to comment
DanDee Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Do you have his number or have him as a Facebook friend? Link to comment
Keyman Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 This girl I have been dating does not open up emotionally in that way either. We haven't been dating long, and I get the impression that she likes me, but would love to hear it. I've told her. Thing is, without it, I'm starting to feel bored and am backing away. I guess part of the issue is that it's a semi-long distance dating relationship, so I don't get to see her very often, we'd call occasionally and that's pretty much it. If I could spend more time with her I think things would be different. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Yes, I always thought he knew and that I made it clear by my actions, but in retrospect I realize I should've just flat out told him. Him and I both had a very obvious fear of rejection. In the end I was so scared of falling for him too hard that I texted him in a nasty way and broke it off. Take a look at this, it's funny but I think it happens all too often Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Yeah, do you know if he's single/available? Does he still live nearby? Have you actually seen him recently? I think most of us have regrets about such things...the one that got away when we were young and naive. Now, we're older, and more confident and secure. If I saw someone like that from my past, or I heard they recently reemerged and I had the opportunity to contact them, I'd certainly go for it. But don't tell him you love him. Creepy. Just make some small talk and slip in "you know, I always hoped we would have gone out together." His response will either give you closure...or lifelong happiness. Link to comment
glucoze Posted April 22, 2010 Author Share Posted April 22, 2010 OP what was the situation with the guy? well as I previously stated in my other topics.. I met him around... Late December. But at that time we had never spoken. I just felt this enormous attraction to him. It was overwhelming to a point where I couldn't ignore it. I thought it was nothing, turns out it was something. He was throwing me a few signs that he could be interested. I felt discouraged at times.. By his behavior. I've only spoken to him 3 times out of the time we were around one another. I deeply regret not telling him how i felt and still feel. I know that he likes me too. Guess we are both afraid to take it there? I don't know. I hope I see him again, because when I do I want to tell him. Link to comment
kyivish Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Oh my god do I regret it. I was dating this girl, and three weeks into the relationship she told me she loved me. I was scared and told her I wasn't quite there yet but that I had very strong feelings for her. Well she told it to me all the time for the next month and I was so scared to say it back. She then stopped saying it. About a month ago, we we're out on st. patricks day and I left cause I had work very early, she then went home with a guy she had just met and they've been together ever since. I'll never forgive myself for that one....I did love her, and still do Link to comment
glucoze Posted April 22, 2010 Author Share Posted April 22, 2010 Wow. That really sucks.. Goes to show you gotta tell the person how you feel now and then.. Link to comment
kyivish Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Are you implying that I deserved to be cheated on? Maybe I did deserve it, I'd like to think I deserved a second chance before being cheated on though Link to comment
glucoze Posted April 24, 2010 Author Share Posted April 24, 2010 No no you dont deserve to be cheated on. NO one does. Link to comment
quirky Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 No I've never been in that situation because I realised at a very young age (16) that I didn't wanna live with what if's. In the past I used to say it and I have been rejected a few times. I wasn't afraid of rejection then but I am a bit now, I admit. So now I am older I may not say it with words (unless it's my SO) but I make it known through my behaviour. Fear of rejection stems from low self esteem and it gets better if you put yourself out there, get rejected and brush it over. Everyone gets rejected at some point, doesn't mean you are not worthy. Link to comment
Nomadic Intent Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 We are all scared of rejection, even i admit that. I'm naturally a shy person and introverted. But i've worked extremely hard on my confidence these last couple of years to the point i'd rather pursue what i want, then live with the fact that i didn't even try. (failure) I'm with the TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL crowd. Because even though it might hurt, at least you know how they feel. Newwave's post has 15 YEARS of her life in limbo with someone who's been on her mind. I, personally, don't ever want to suffer through that. Take that chance to tell the person how you feel. The world will still spin and the sun will still shine if they don't feel the same. But then, they might feel the same as you do. How will you know? Link to comment
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