Ok to sleep with ex or not?

[beth116]

Hi, it's been a long time since I've posted on here... I appreciate any advice you can offer.

 

I've recently come out of a nearly 3-year relationship, which was ended because he had to move overseas, and it wasn't practical to continue.

 

In the last couple of months, I have been feeling really lonely, so I went on an online dating site. I have been emailing a guy for a week or so, and we have so far found to have a lot in common. We are going on a date this week

 

This is all very well and good, and I am looking forward to meeting him, and I feel we may get along well, and continue to date. My problem is thus: Tonight, a guy from my past who I never got over really has called me. He's coming into town this weekend because his band is playing, and he want to 'catch up'. This basically means in his vocab that he wants to sleep with me.

 

I know it seems tacky, but I really do want to sleep with him! We had a whirlwind romance a few years back, and I have always thought about him, and wanted another chance to be with him, even for a night.

 

So... is it OK or NOT to go on my first date with the new guy, and THEN sleep with my ex lover knowing that that is a one-off, and THEN continue to date new guy? Or does that make me some kind of callous awful tart?

 

If it's just the first date, I tend to think that I have no obligation to a guy to not see others... but then if we really hit it off and start a relationship , I may feel guilty! IF I don't sleep with my ex, and things don't work out with new guy, I may regret it forever, because I don't see another time when the ex and I will get a chance.

 

Any insight?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

How would sleeping with your ex solve your loneliness problems? All you would get is an orgasm for one night and then no more orgasms until someone else propositions you. You will still be alone and lonely. Also, you leave yourself open to STDs...after all, you don't know how many women this ex of yours has propositioned, he sounds like the clichéd musician with a "girl in every port". If you never got over this ex then being his "one of many" sex partners is not going to make you feel any better. The guy you are going to meet may or may not be "the one" but I am not sure why you would regret not having sex with this ex simply because this date didn't work out. Sex with your ex is a complete dead end...it is sex with someone who you never got over and yet he simply views you as his free prostitute for the evening. Do you really want to be viewed as a musician's freebie?

[greywolf]

I would see how things go on your date with the new guy before deciding whether to sleep with your ex or not. For all you know, he may be a total douche anyway.

 

Also, since I don't view sex as something a woman gives up to a man, I don't think of it as your ex's freebie. You've gotta do what you want, but you've got to act in a way that you find respectable. If it's something you'll feel guilty about, then I suggest letting go of the idea.

[agatha]

being on a similar situation (going on a date tomorrow and my fb just said he'd like to see me on wednesday), I couldn't agree more with greywolf. the date is yet to happen, so you can always let your ex on standby.

 

I'm pretty monogamous, though, so if I kissed the date, I'd not touch my friend. weird morals, yes, I know X D