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Why did he react this way? *sigh*


sheenietee

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Okay, so yesterday I accidentally wrote on my (recent) ex boyfriend's wall (I meant to update my status but I was on his page instead). I deleted it immediately but facebook still sends out notifications that I wrote on his wall.

 

I made status something like "Sorry if you're getting random links posted on your walls... dumb viruses" in order to cover it up and all of my friends believed it so I would assume he would too.

 

Long story short, he deleted me as a friend on fb and in all my thoughts and speculations about what he would think of the concept of me writing on his wall.. I never thought he would choose such a drastic route.

 

Why do you think he made such an extreme move? It's not like I actually posted something on his wall that was personal or anything. He's not an "a**hole type" and I know he felt extremely guilty for breaking up with me because "it wasn't my fault" and he said he still liked me as a person. So why do such a jerk move?

 

I still like him. I plan on dating other guys and living my life but I feel I will still always miss him and hope he changes his mind.. but this is impossible, yes? It just makes me feel bad because he most likely could care less about me, right? I want to believe that he thought about deleting me and only went through with it because he wanted to help get over him and that he didn’t just delete me without a second though or by thinking I was annoying or stalkerish or something.

Yes, I realize it’s just facebook but in our generation it is something significant so please don’t say that it’s nothing. I’m 19 and he’s 21 btw. Some suggested that he meant to delete me earlier and that just reminded him but I don't think that's true since he tried (even though I know it's an empty promise) to stress we still hang out as friends and I'm sure he's seen me on fb before too.

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It's not drastic, it's Facebook. Put it in perspective.

 

I understand that's not the point, but in his mind, it likely is. Don't assign bigger meaning to this than it needs to be. You could end up having a drink together at a party and discover all is well--he's just not up for reading your posts at this time.

 

Head high.

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Most people who become friends with exes generally go through a period of time after the break-up where they have no contact whatsoever with the person they just broke up with. This time is valuable in that it lets both parties heal, get over the break-up and allows them both to evaluate whether a friendship would be a desirable thing. For most people, even in the most amicable of break-ups, trying to be friends without that break between the end of the romance and the start of a non-romantic relationship is too damn painful to pull off.

 

If you do, in fact, want to be friends with him, you'll let him have this time....not get your panties in a bunch reading too much into being un-friended.

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I agree with the others. You know... sometimes it is just as hard on the dumper as it is on the dumpee. Just because you don't think it's going to work out, doesn't mean that you don't care.

 

He was probably thinking about it for a while. He's probably seen you around fb and it's been hurting him. His un-friending you is probably more about him than it is about you. He wants to be able to move on.

 

Don't read too much into it. It doesn't mean he's mad at you. It doesn't mean that he hates you. It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be your friend in real life. All it means is that he doesn't want to know what you are up to right now... he's just trying to move on.

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