What's wrong with me/them?

[babybear]

I have been trying to work out where I am going so badly wrong with finding love and thought I would share my conclusions and ask for some advice. I have no problem finding hundreds of guys to date/pull whatever but cannot seem to find anything more serious. When looking at all these guys the majority of them were either complete commitmentphobes, looking for the next person to have sex with, or they made it difficult for me to 'catch' them, therefore the chase thrilled me. These guys are also extremely good looking and popular with women. These guys never took me on dates they instead just hooked up with me when they were drunk/called me at 4am... usual story... and I decided I really liked them.

Of the few guys who did want something serious, they were less good looking and I became quickly indifferent to them. They took me on a nice date made it clear they liked me and I decided I didn't like them anymore. I'm not sure if that was because they weren't as good looking or because they treated me 'nicely'.

 

So i was wondering - do people think I am a commitment phobe myself, are just into 'badboys', just really shallow, or just haven't met the right guy yet?

[sidehop]

You said you're looking for someone serious but you're playing this game of trying to lure guys that will not commit. I get the sense that you like the thrill of the cat and mouse game. Do you think perhaps these serious guys looking to settle down are just boring for you?

[babybear]

Do you think perhaps these serious guys looking to settle down are just boring for you?

- Maybe, I have been single just over three years but prior to that I was in a serious relationship for 2 and half years with a very boring, inconsiderate, controlling guy. Since our relationship ended I have gone crazy and totally gone against everything I was in our relationship. I'm incredibly sociable and now have lots of friends and massive social circle. I go to parties very regularly. I have lots of friends who are in serious relationships and all they do with their boyfriends is sit in and watch tv with them. I would not swap positions with them for the world, but I still want someone to love me. However, I want someone a bit reckless like me who would want to party with me. I am only 21 after all. And yes I do have all the time in the world to find love. But I need to know I'm not in an unhealthy frame of mind and poor dating pattern and the past three years would suggest. Does this make sense?

[sidehop]

I do see the type of guy you're looking for and I'm sure there are many out there. But perhaps you'll also need to find the right balance, someone that will love you for who you are, go out and have fun with you but not a complete party/drinker that probably aren't looking to exclusively date one person. You're still young, I'm sure there's a right guy for you out there.

[BriarRose]

No, you're not a commitment phobe. You just seem to be interested in the really good looking ones. Unfortunately, that is always a higher risk endeavor.