Anybody ever get the silent treatment for no reason whatsoever?

[AlwayzRight]

??? I'm talking about someone who you have been in constant contact with for a few months. How did you handle it? Do you become aggressive in trying to contact them, ask them whats up with the silence?...or just move on?

[metafisics]

is always a reason trust me! Whether you are aware of it or not, or how insignificant it may seem.

 

I'd say, if your gut-feel tells you its silent treatment, find out.

[AlwayzRight]

is always a reason trust me! Whether you are aware of it or not, or how insignificant it may seem.

 

I'd say, if your gut-feel tells you its silent treatment, find out.

 

 

Well how do you go about finding out when they won't respond

?

[EEjustYOmeRE]

when i was the one getting the silent treatment, i'd ask what wrong or what did i do and all that. if i get no reply, i simply say something along the lines of: "okay, well let me know if you ever want to talk to me i guess..." cause i mean you can't force the reason out...it'll just annoy the person even more. and the fact that you're leaving the ball in that other person's court, that person would feel more inclined to say the reason at one point or another...

[metafisics]

when i was the one getting the silent treatment, i'd ask what wrong or what did i do and all that. if i get no reply, i simply say something along the lines of: "okay, well let me know if you ever want to talk to me i guess..." cause i mean you can't force the reason out...it'll just annoy the person even more. and the fact that you're leaving the ball in that other person's court, that person would feel more inclined to say the reason at one point or another...

 

Yep, there's your answer.

[orchidrose]

I think you've been given several clear answers as to why based on your previous posts. Unfortunately, this girl is not interested in speaking with you, and she is trying to make that clear by not responding to your calls, texts, etc.

 

She doesn't owe you any explanation as to why she is no longer speaking to you; it's just the way it is. I think that any more aggressive contact will just upset her, as she's tried to make it clear to you that she's not interested in contact. Move on.

[AlwayzRight]

Do girls just ignore guys if they dont want to talk to them anymore? Even if your are just "friends"? Anyone who ever does this is PATHETIC. Whats the better way to call them out for being so immature?

[orchidrose]

Do girls just ignore guys if they dont want to talk to them anymore? Even if your are just "friends"? Anyone who ever does this is PATHETIC. Whats the better way to call them out for being so immature?

 

Some girls do, and you're right, it is immature and pathetic. The bigger thing to do is to tell you why they no longer want contact with you, but that's awkward, so many people avoid it.

 

I don't think you're in a position to call her out on being pathetic or immature. As I said, she has made it clear she is not interested in speaking with you. Further contact, especially angry contact like you're suggesting, could be a big problem.

[AlwayzRight]

I think you've been given several clear answers as to why based on your previous posts. Unfortunately, this girl is not interested in speaking with you, and she is trying to make that clear by not responding to your calls, texts, etc.

 

She doesn't owe you any explanation as to why she is no longer speaking to you; it's just the way it is. I think that any more aggressive contact will just upset her, as she's tried to make it clear to you that she's not interested in contact. Move on.

 

This is someone who wanted to be "friends". People shouldn't say things that they dont mean, and they also should not be immature and PATHETIC about how they go about it...period.

[EEjustYOmeRE]

despite what people should or shouldn't do and whether immaturity plays the factor....it doesn't change what has happened.

 

so if theres no response then forget it. you don't want to be friends with someone like that anyways right? unless they can provide a VERY good logical reason for all of this.

[nadid]

Giving a silent treatment is really disrespectful and cruel.

 

I would ask them if everything's okay once, and if you get no reply - the person maintains their silence - Then definitely move on, and don't let them just reappear at their leisure (if they ever try to).

[metafisics]

Ok, now that this has somehow been put into context, I do see how I could cut someone off and not feel the need to tell them why.

 

Example? A friend who whilst I was telling him about boyfriend situation touched my breast in pretence of playing with my shirt!

 

A clear deal-breaker! No explanation necessary. Infact, that he acted confused afterwards only made things worse!

[Tarkan]

??? I'm talking about someone who you have been in constant contact with for a few months. How did you handle it? Do you become aggressive in trying to contact them, ask them whats up with the silence?...or just move on?

 

There is silence because people have to recover, because they're moving, because they feel like if you did something bad ( even if you did not ) or finally, because you simply can't get the same attention as before.

[rustyschackelf]

In my experience anyone who gives me the silent treatment has been a waste of my time. Its immature and solves nothing. But if someone is giving it to you, you shouldn't contact them at all, let them say somehthing first. Its essentially fighting fire with fire, and temporarily taking the "if you don't care, I don't care" attitude.

[AlwayzRight]

No offense to anyone but why does it seem that woman are the people that always seem to do this. I am not saying that guys do this but woman seem to do this more than men. WHat's the best way to resolve this. I do not want to come accross angry. I care about this person and really do not know what the deal is?

[BriarRose]

No offense to anyone but why does it seem that woman are the people that always seem to do this. I am not saying that guys do this but woman seem to do this more than men. WHat's the best way to resolve this. I do not want to come accross angry. I care about this person and really do not know what the deal is?

Unless you've had an argument or said or done something to hurt the person, silence = loss of interest and/or they met someone.

 

Unless you think you have hurt or offended them somehow, I would do nothing.

[Speranza]

I think this is happening to me right now - I think. My Ex and I are still close friends and last week I sent a text which he never replied to. We are usually pretty much in daily contact. I can see looking back that if he didn't take it as a joke he might just conceivably have taken offence (though he really should know me!) but tbh if - IF - he has just gone AWOL without even explaining why, I just feel as though I have better things to do. I hope I'll be proved wrong and that it wasn't anything to do with that, but I'm certainly not going chasing after him to find out! (Up until now he has appeared to be trying to work towards being back together, but a week's silence hasn't really impressed me!)

 

If I ever find out that it was an issue, I'd apologise - but I'm not going to second-guess him. It may be nothing to do with that (it really was pretty obviously a light-hearted remark and he knows me well).

 

So my advice to you (as well, based on your other posts) is to give up on finding the answers - unfortunately, sometimes we don't get such neat closure. My life has been a lot easier since I learned to accept that...

[EEjustYOmeRE]

No offense to anyone but why does it seem that woman are the people that always seem to do this. I am not saying that guys do this but woman seem to do this more than men. WHat's the best way to resolve this. I do not want to come accross angry. I care about this person and really do not know what the deal is?

 

here's one theory i have on this....

girls tend to do the whole silent treatment more because when it comes to someone we care about or had feelings for...we're bad at confrontation.

 

yes. i'm guilty of doing this twice with exes. (but i've learned not to do so, i promise!)

but that's just it. we know we shouldn't avoid the situation, but we just do because we don't want to hurt the other person...

 

it's not a good excuse....but that's just kind of true.

[orchidrose]

No offense to anyone but why does it seem that woman are the people that always seem to do this. I am not saying that guys do this but woman seem to do this more than men. WHat's the best way to resolve this. I do not want to come accross angry. I care about this person and really do not know what the deal is?

 

I'm sorry, but as we've all said before, it does not seem like she is interested in speaking with you. Someone who willingly ignores you for weeks on end is not someone who cares about you. I know that's tough because you do care about her, but she does not even have the courtesy to respond to your messages.

 

I don't think there is any way to resolve this. She has made her feelings and intentions clear. Time to move on.

[AlwayzRight]

I'm sorry, but as we've all said before, it does not seem like she is interested in speaking with you. Someone who willingly ignores you for weeks on end is not someone who cares about you. I know that's tough because you do care about her, but she does not even have the courtesy to respond to your messages.

 

I don't think there is any way to resolve this. She has made her feelings and intentions clear. Time to move on.

 

 

........you are absolutely right. But the common courtesy to say that they no longer want to be friends AFTER they TOLD you that they do should be in order? Right?

 

Again, I ask.... it is imature, pathetic, cruel and not to mention rude.....why does this seem like WOMAN do this? Is it to avoid confrontation. The majority of all guys that I know do not do this.

[Speranza]

See my post! Hey, I always was one to buck the trend...

[orchidrose]

........you are absolutely right. But the common courtesy to say that they no longer want to be friends AFTER they TOLD you that they do should be in order? Right?

 

Again, I ask.... it is imature, pathetic, cruel and not to mention rude.....why does this seem like WOMAN do this? Is it to avoid confrontation. The majority of all guys that I know do not do this.

 

Of course it is. It is rude and disrespectful. But many women do have issues with confrontation, and don't want to hurt someone's feelings. That's why many women, in breaking things off with a guy that she hasn't been seeing for long, tell him that she "cannot be in a relationship right now" (which may or may not be true, but is tough to dispute) and that she wants to "stay friends." Many women do this because they think it softens the blow and makes it easier for the guy to move on. It is not intended to be rude, though it does come out to be that way; it's intended to make the guy feel better.

 

By the way, I've had ex-boyfriends pull the "I want to stay friends" line and then ignore me, so this isn't exclusively a female problem.

[tf987]

........you are absolutely right. But the common courtesy to say that they no longer want to be friends AFTER they TOLD you that they do should be in order? Right?

 

Again, I ask.... it is imature, pathetic, cruel and not to mention rude.....why does this seem like WOMAN do this? Is it to avoid confrontation. The majority of all guys that I know do not do this.

 

Get over it already. Maybe she just decided that you aren't somebody that she wants to be friends with - people do change their minds and they don't always owe you an explanation. There is a difference between human nature and how YOU think others should behave.

 

I dated a women a few years ago that I liked for a while, but then I found her really annoying and clingy and I ended it - she said she'd like to be friends but I found most of her communications to me to be in the form of some pretext to hang out with her - and I really didn't want to hang out with her and I found her so annoying that I finally just stopped responding to her emails.

 

Maybe your communication style has turned her off. Who knows. Let it go and move on. It does you no good to keep asking "but why?". Grow up.

[BriarRose]

Few people will say "look, I really don't want to see or speak to you again". So I don't know that I would call it "cruel and immature". And women don't do it more - I have had lots of men do this to me.