Boyfriend was Vicously Attacked

[Kumatora]

I don't like bringing up personal relationship problems here. Nearly all the time, I am good at handling my relationship issues on my own. This one, I need some serious input.

 

My boyfriend's family owns 9 aggressive, large dogs. It is illegal in the state we live in to own more than 7 animals on your property unless you have a rehabilitation permit. His parents refuse to get rid of the dogs and comply with the state laws. They have been to court over keeping them because their dogs have attacked neighbors or have escaped into the neighborhood. They used to have 7 dogs, but his parents has not spayed or neutered all of the dogs; they inbreed. My boyfriend has nothing to do with any of it; he is forced to live in their house and putting up with the dogs. He cannot move out because he is unemployed.

 

Their dogs have been the reason why I can't visit my boyfriend at his house. This situation has caused us problems for years. I have tried accommodating by having him come over to my place instead.

 

Unfortunately one of the dogs brutally attacked him recently. He has claw and bite marks on his face, arm, and leg. He has NO medical insurance and has begged me not to tell my parents about it. His wounds are so bad that he needs medical treatment.

 

He fears that if he turns himself over, he turns his family over. I got him to escape over at my house, but his face has been bleeding for over a day. He need stitches. I insisted and tried forcing him to get his stuff together and that I was going to take him to an urgent care center, but he flat out REFUSED. He snapped at me saying that I shouldn't need to worry and that everything is going to be fine. We ended up fighting and arguing even though I tried reasoning he could do monthly payments with an urgent care clinic and that getting stitches won't cost a lot. His health is way more important. He didn't want to listen to me and argued that I wasn't listening to him, so I turned him over back to his parents frustrated and angry. I didn't want to do it, but I feel he got me involved and basically doesn't want me to help him out when he needs medical attention.

 

I am incredibly worried and upset about the whole situation. I have been dating this guy for 6 years and I never had such a huge fight with him over his stubbornness until NOW. I have been pushing him into looking for any job he can get instead of ones that are within his field (Radiology degree) to get out of there because I know how dangerous that place is for him. Hsis parents do NOTHING to help him move on with his life and neither do his friends who sit around playing video games. Plus his parents are too stupid to put their dogs down if one of their own sons was attacked by them (kinda sad his parents would choose an aggressive dog over family).

 

I want to take care of him and be a good girlfriend, but he wouldn't let me. He's even afraid to talk to his parents about the whole ordeal and I think it's because he's afraid of them feeling he will turn them over. I have been debating today whether it would be wise if I threatened him to get medically treated or I contact the ASPCA myself and report the problem anonymously to exterminate all of the dogs. However, his family would find out that I snitched on them since I'm the only outsider who knows that he was attacked. I finally got his family to accept me (which was hard because we're both from two different cultures and races), and if I did this I would blow everything. I'm honestly wondering if it's even worth getting his family to be accepting of me.

 

I don't know what to do about this whole situation and it has me tremendously upset. Is it worth keeping this relationship if he can't take care of himself or speak up against his family? I feel that he has not been trying hard enough to get out of there and it puts me in a very BAD position.

 

Thanks for listening. This just really fricken sucks.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Is it worth keeping this relationship if he can't take care of himself or speak up against his family? I feel that he has not been trying hard enough to get out of there and it puts me in a very BAD position.

 

The answer is no. This is a mega dysfunctional family of the Jerry Springer variety. He got viciously attacked and won't get help and won't tell his parents. Something is very wrong with this picture. He doesn't want to tell them because then he will lose his place to stay while he is unemployed. How long has he been looking for a job? Can't he get anything else...even something that is near the field of radiology..something in a hospital or clinic even if it is paperwork? How hard has he really been looking? People don't own 9 aggressive large dogs just like that...I suspect there is something shady going on in which money is to be had and that is why he doesn't want to say anything. Perhaps there are some shady people involved with his parents and that is why he is keeping his mouth shut. You can't save him from himself. He needs to sort himself out...and you need to get yourself out of harm's way.

[Miss Firecracker]

OMG! This family is just like my neighbors. Please get away from this madness before you become a part of it.

[Seraphim]

I agree it sounds really suspicious that they are more concerned with being nabbed about these dogs than concern for their CHILD and other people. He SHOULD get care before he gets infected and septic and is horribly scared. They sound like they have a lot to hide. This is about the dogs too. Are they cared for properly? Do they attach each other ect........I would call on them without a second thought.

[Miss Firecracker]

I just reported my neighbors for having THREE dogs. Only two are allowed per home in this neighborhood.

[Kumatora]

The answer is no. This is a mega dysfunctional family of the Jerry Springer variety. He got viciously attacked and won't get help and won't tell his parents. Something is very wrong with this picture. He doesn't want to tell them because then he will lose his place to stay while he is unemployed.

Understand.

And apart of it is culture. His family is very close knit.

 

How long has he been looking for a job? Can't he get anything else...even something that is near the field of radiology..something in a hospital or clinic even if it is paperwork? How hard has he really been looking?

Part of it is because he is not certified. I begged him to look for ANYTHING. Hell I did while looking for a teaching job. I live in a rural area and was able to find work. I can't understand why he couldn't when he lives in a big city.

 

People don't own 9 aggressive large dogs just like that...I suspect there is something shady going on in which money is to be had and that is why he doesn't want to say anything.

There's no dog fighting. These are people with different cultural values and are immigrants.

[Kumatora]

They sound like they have a lot to hide. This is about the dogs too. Are they cared for properly?

If you consider that the entire backyard is THEIR yard, are properly fed, and they have an indoor shelter with ac and heating, then yes. Humane society couldn't fault them because of that.

 

 

Do they attach each other ect........

"Attack" you mean? Yea, it's the males who do fight. Some of them had to be kept inside the house as a result.

 

I would call on them without a second thought.

I want to. But if I do that I will be facing issues with HIS family. I will never be accepted to marry their son if I report their dogs to the ASPCA. They will know it's me. I know that's not a justification, but should I really?

[Seraphim]

I meant attack, yes. It sounds like though maybe they are afraid of the law. Maybe it is because they are immigrants and whatever country they are from maybe they were not given a far shake. The thing is though they HAVE to obey the laws here. (wherever here is ) If these dogs have attacked others they now have a taste for blood and will they do it again. Dogs have a pack mentality and if they get loose together they will attack someone else. If they kill a child or seriously maim a child they WILL be prosecuted. If it was me and my child I would sue them to their shorts and beyond and I would have the dogs destroyed.

As far as your bf if he has not had stitching within about 8 hours of the maiming I do not think they do them because of the chance of greater infection and such. He NEEDS treatment.

I am not sure how you will feel if these animals attack someone else or kill someone.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you consider that the entire backyard is THEIR yard, are properly fed, and they have an indoor shelter with ac and heating, then yes. Humane society couldn't fault them because of that.

 

 

 

"Attack" you mean? Yea, it's the males who do fight. Some of them had to be kept inside the house as a result.

 

 

I want to. But if I do that I will be facing issues with HIS family. I will never be accepted to marry their son if I report their dogs to the ASPCA. They will know it's me. I know that's not a justification, but should I really?

 

Do you really want to marry into a family who sees nothing wrong with keeping 9 vicious dogs? Your boyfriend is enabling this behaviour. I am not so sure this whole dog thing is a cultural issue..I suspect there is something more to this and it has nothing to do with their culture. 9 vicious dogs????? As an outsider I really don't think you are seeing the big picture because they certainly won't tell you.

[Kumatora]

I am not sure how you will feel if these animals attack someone else or kill someone.

But it's not my problem or my dogs. I'm not an enforcer. Neighbors have already tried to sue them.

 

I just found out that the dog who attacked him is pregnant >

 

Nothing much I can really do other than leave the relationship then. Even though my bf has NOTHING to do with this.

[Seraphim]

Seems to me they care more about these dogs than the safety of others and family.

[HeartGoesOn]

Have these dogs had rabies shots? Between that, and a risk of infection, he may have no choice other than to seek medical attention.

 

I can't understand how these people can legally keep 9 dangerous dogs on their property, without someone stepping in?

[Miss Firecracker]

I can't understand how these people can legally keep 9 dangerous dogs on their property, without someone stepping in?

 

Because people are more scared of the dog owners than they are the dogs. I should know. And I may have to pay for what I have done, and am more than willing to. I'd rather these people shoot me than live knowing someone was killed because I kept my mouth shut.