Let's focus on our improvements!

[nanana]

What have you all done to help yourselves heal?

 

I have started volunteer work with disabled people

Worked on my appearance

Spent more time with friends

Focused hard on work

Started working out and finally got the body I always wanted

Thought a lot about what I really want out of a relationship

I'm teaching myself a new language

Telling myself NOT to go back

Gaining self-respect and not letting myself get used again

Moved house

 

I'm meant to be meeting my ex in a couple of weeks, we agreed to it before going NC, and I've decided in this time that NO, I won't be going back again. I'm a human being, I'm not disposable, and I'm keeping my dignity this time.

 

Maybe if we focus more on these things, we'll start to feel better...

[fr0z3n]

What I've done so far...

 

2 weeks of NC,

I think episode 28 of Hunter x Hunter

Been watching TV and surfing the internet all the time

Posting here in ENA, venting and trying to help others

 

Thats all for now, I hope I can acomplish more things, feeling a bit down since last night...

Tomorrow is my first day of my summer class...

[Nearbot]

I haven't talked to him in a month.

I learned to ride a motorcycle.

I focused a lot on my studies, and it paid off

I did the math, realized I could graduate early, and planned how to make it happen, then found my dream internship!

I got a haircut and bought a lot of new clothes

I'm starting to teach myself to sew.

And for summer vacation I have planned: private martial arts lessons (jeet kune do!), volunteering at a dog shelter, road tripping to a wolf sanctuary to volunteer, three online summer school courses, and maybe a spanish class with my mom. Also, a really good friend of mine is moving back, so I'm excited about that! He's had his heartbroken too. So together he and I have planned going to the gym a lot, learning how to play duel monsters (the Yu-Gi-Oh! cardgame, haha, probably won't get done), starting a mini-band, skate boarding/rollerskating/bike riding, and going on lots of picnics. We'll probably just end up sitting around watching movies which is fine xD

 

This week I'm going to apply for a lab job at my school making biofuel, but I'm not too sure if I'll get it

[incaangelique]

Yeah, it's easy to focus on our negatives.

Positivity.

21 days of no contact

A more intense fitness program

Lots and lots of self help books

 

So far that's all I've got, but I hope to be adding more to this thread

[AutumnBorn]

Ah, I love threads like this.

 

1. Started volunteering with two non-profits.

2. Started cello lessons.

3. Went into L.C. and began finding ways not to see him instead of excuses to see him.

4. Lost 35 lb. (and, therefore, changed my wardrobe completely). Went from a size 8/10 to 2!

5. Changed my hair.

6. Started wearing nice lingerie to help me feel sexy and feminine (and it works).

7. Got a tummy tuck to repair c-section scar and remove loose skin from weight loss (I'm an old woman - it doesn't shrink back very well)

8. Got a breast reduction.

9. Threw myself into work and got two raises since he moved out (and some very nice bonuses, which paid for cosmetic surgeries).

10. Accepted that it's over (realized that he'll never be the man I needed him to be) and truly let go.

 

 

About my physical transformatin, men have told me all my life I'm beautiful (I was a petite model in my early twenties), but I was always very insecure. My ex used my insecurity against me, always made me feel unsafe, that he could do better. To seal it, he insulted me over and over with the excuse that he was joking and I didn't have a sense of humor.

 

These many years later, I've never felt more attractive or confident. Our split has done me right. As for him, his confidence is at an all time low. He's no longer the cute young man who could get his pick of girls and his ego and self-esteem have taken a hit. He's proven he can't do better than me, after all.

[Tangz]

Been working out lots and have seen improvements from 2 weeks (the joys of being skinny)

Posting on ENA, best thing thats happened to me I love this site.

Met up with mates on evenings so im not alone

Generally thinking positives

[jazzbarrett]

what i've done so far...

 

1) worked more hours at my job and am now being considered for full time!

2) redecorated my house the way i want it

3) took a few cooking classes

4) bought a new car

5) lose 15lbs from working out every day

6) met up with some friends i had lost contact with over the last 3 years

7) dropped all the shady mutual friends

8) stopped contact with all his family

9) GOT OVER HIM

[yonanz]

what i've done

 

started volunteer work at childcare centre

intending to enrol in language classes.

going to school

taking part in religious activities

going out with friends and family

teaching tuition

working out at the gym

jogging

 

it all helps, even if little by little, but it does. staying at home[ like what im doing now] just makes those thoughts come back only.

[amandamarie]

Oooh, I like this thread! This is what I have done, 9 months out:

 

1. Started working out - and am training for a marathon. Lost a lot of weight and have washboard abs

2. Went back to school to work on an advanced degree.

3. Started volunteer work.

4. Got a spray tan, which I have always wanted to try.

5. Went to a fancy salon (for me anyways!) and got a great new haircut.

6. Tried to rearrange my house as much as possible on a budget. This is still a work in progress. I want it to look like he never even lived here!

7. Working on starting my own small business.

8. Trying to write a novel (in progress).

9. Have been putting in effort to cultivate new friendships with people, going to meetup groups, etc.

10. Spending more time with my relatives to try to strengthen those relationships.

11. Just went to the library and checked out several books on personal growth to try to become more self aware and spiritual.

12. I am trying to focus more on living in the moment and appreciating the small things in life.

13. Whitening my teeth.

14. Have been more environmentally conscious.

 

And next on my to-do list:

15. Stick with NC