She dumped me, and won't leave me alone.....

[AMG16]

I've posted on here about the breakup before. We broke up about 7 weeks ago. I did NC for the first month, and ignored everything. Then we met up about a week ago for coffee, and for me to give her some things back. When we met she was trying sooo hard to make me jealous. She told me she was "hanging out" with the guy she dated before me. I remained calm and pleasant.

 

Now it's been a week since we met up, and she still texts me. Most often its about random things that don't really concern me, but she'll bring something up that she knows I can't really ignore as she is asking about something relevant. So do I keep going cold hard NC and have her mad at me for ignoring a legit question? Or is LC the best approach here???? Thanks.

[DN]

Ask her to stop messaging for you as it is not in your best interest right now to keep replying.

[HeartGoesOn]

Why would you care if she gets mad at you? She made the choice to break up with you, and these are the consequences.

 

Stop taking the bait, and this game will end.

[AMG16]

Yeah I was thinking about doing that. I don't want to piss her off though. I'm also confused now about weather her ex she's with again is a rebound, or weather I was a 3 year rebound to him!!??

[AMG16]

I haven't "taken the bait" yet as I haven't responded. I know last time when I ignored her for the first month, she got mad, and text me telling me I had no respect etc.

[DN]

People make a mistake in thinking a rebound relationship will always fail - and it really doesn't metter if it does. The fact that really matters is that it failed.

[Sn0man]

Why do you care if by not responding she gets mad? She broke up with you. You have free license to do whatever you want without any concern for her at all, including ignoring her texts.

[lavenderdove]

What do you want here? Do you want her back, or do you want not get back with her.

 

If you want her back and she is making overtures like she might be thinking of you again, then you need to ask her if she's contacting you because she wants to date you, or just be friends.

 

If she says, just friends, then you tell her that being friends with an ex doesn't work for you, so please don't contact you unless she wants to date you again. If she contacts you for anything other than getting back together, then don't respond unless she mentions that.

 

And if you've decided you don't want her back at all, then just quit responding.

[fr0z3n]

What do you want here? Do you want her back, or do you want not get back with her.

 

If you want her back and she is making overtures like she might be thinking of you again, then you need to ask her if she's contacting you because she wants to date you, or just be friends.

 

If she says, just friends, then you tell her that being friends with an ex doesn't work for you, so please don't contact you unless she wants to date you again. If she contacts you for anything other than getting back together, then don't respond unless she mentions that.

 

And if you've decided you don't want her back at all, then just quit responding.

 

But the thing here is that theres only a small chance that his ex will tell her straight up that she wanted to date her again... If they broke up just recently, maybe she just guilty, testing the water, checking up on the OP but ignoring her wont do much damage... If the girl has a rebound (I haven't read much of the thread), then theres no reason to contact/reply to her...

[AMG16]

What do you want here? Do you want her back, or do you want not get back with her.

 

If you want her back and she is making overtures like she might be thinking of you again, then you need to ask her if she's contacting you because she wants to date you, or just be friends.

 

If she says, just friends, then you tell her that being friends with an ex doesn't work for you, so please don't contact you unless she wants to date you again. If she contacts you for anything other than getting back together, then don't respond unless she mentions that.

 

And if you've decided you don't want her back at all, then just quit responding.

 

Yes I want her back. I know she's not texting me because she wants to date. She is back with her ex she dated before me. I know she is having a hard time with this as well, and I think she texts just to see if I'm still there. She's throwing out crumbs. She is smart though, and everything she texts about kind of puts me in a pickle. If I don't respond to them I'm being rude and immature by not responding to a legitimate question. But by responding, I'm giving her the satisfaction by picking up the crumb she throws out. Loose/loose for me I'm afraid.

[fr0z3n]

Yes I want her back. I know she's not texting me because she wants to date. She is back with her ex she dated before me. I know she is having a hard time with this as well, and I think she texts just to see if I'm still there. She's throwing out crumbs. She is smart though, and everything she texts about kind of puts me in a pickle. If I don't respond to them I'm being rude and immature by not responding to a legitimate question. But by responding, I'm giving her the satisfaction by picking up the crumb she throws out. Loose/loose for me I'm afraid.

 

nahh... just ignore her... she's with another guy, she's just stringing you along with this bunch of BS... Do you want to let her have some fun while she's holding you on the neck so that you wont be free to do anything you want and have some fun too?

[DN]

What sort of legitimate questions?

[AMG16]

What sort of legitimate questions?

 

Well usually about some of her stuff. This last one was more about a concern of her Dads than anything. We both live on farms. My brother did some work for them on their farm last year and used a trailer of her dads to haul his equipment there. So she text me telling me that her dad wanted the trailer back. I responded the next day, and just told her I wasn't on the farm right now, and gave her my brothers number, and told her to have her dad call my brother. She hasn't responded.

[DN]

I would arrange for her to get her stuff back and then go no contact.

[HeartGoesOn]

Why is she having a hard time being back with her "ex?" Sounds like she made that choice, no one forced her to do that...right?

[AMG16]

Why is she having a hard time being back with her "ex?" Sounds like she made that choice, no one forced her to do that...right?

 

I don't think she's having a hard time being back with her "ex", as you said, she made that choice. I think she is having a bit of a rough ride with our breakup though. Just certain things she does and says, especially when I met up with her lead me to believe she's not over me yet. (we did date for 3 years)

 

She left her ex because she said he wasn't ambitious and all he wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV after work. I'm not entirely sure why she left me, but part of it was because she thought I lived to work.

 

To me they will either be done in a few months, or engaged. She is in party mode right now, and I know she enjoys partying with him and his friends. Maybe when the party phase wears off so will their relationship, I don't know.