Sac Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 here it is ex gf is in bold hullo, sorry for the missed call the other day - you alright? yeah im great thanks, no need to apolagize. hope your good too yeahh i'm alright thanks surprised you weren't out on saturday? went out night before..had to finish my advert of anyway ah i see. i saw joe & alex there lyndon said he was out..maybe he didnt go. how are they dunnnoo, didn't speak to joe just saw him and said hello to alex that was pretty much it methinks thou apparently i spoke to joe later on on the phone cause nia kinda got stranded with him ha ahh i see things good with you generally? yeah tbh really good ta why did u ring anyway that's gooood i have your reindeer toy in chelts with me, would quite like you to have it back cause it's from your childhood would be different if it was something you bought me but you had it agesss if you want to. doesent bother me forgot about it tbh, thought you would of got rid of it nahh why would i do that we didn't end on bad terms i didn't think? hmm does that mean you threw away the stuff i made you? dont think so. told my mum to do something with it no not bad terms fair enough hopefully recycled then ha what's happened to your FB? its gone willingly? or did it delete itself? it really doesent matter sorry if that sounds aggressive it doesnt really i guess i wasnt using it so i just deactivated it and i have other things going on and its a distraction fair enough college going ok and stuff? yeah dressed as kurt cobain for the week wig and all. sorry i have to go i have a phone call. so yes 17 months together. broke up 8 weeks ago...3 weeks into break up she gets a new guy... so anybody getting anything from this? i dont want to be friend zoned here. but i dont want to come accross like a Link to comment
DanDee Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Sorry, but you seem a bit -- either aggressive and seriously annoyed by her or just not interested in talking with her anymore/don't feel anything towards her. I'm not sure which way she would've taken it... But she's obviously still interested in talking to you. Her getting a new bf so soon after your break-up seems like she just wants to keep you as a friend though. If you want to get back with her, ask her straight up - "is there any chance we can work things out?" if she says no, end contact for the time being, just until you're over her. Link to comment
Sac Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 Sorry, but you seem a bit -- either aggressive and seriously annoyed by her or just not interested in talking with her anymore/don't feel anything towards her. I'm not sure which way she would've taken it... But she's obviously still interested in talking to you. Her getting a new bf so soon after your break-up seems like she just wants to keep you as a friend though. If you want to get back with her, ask her straight up - "is there any chance we can work things out?" if she says no, end contact for the time being, just until you're over her. ahh. thats the thing i want to be! so nice to her im not annoyed either..i love her to bits. but im scared of being friend zoned as she has a bf... she hasnt told me she has yet tho...so im trying to not be interrested aghhh Link to comment
MikNomis Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Sounds like she's checking up on you, as exes do every so often, and talk to you and see what's up. This is my opinion, but I feel when exes do this they are also, purposefully or not, trying to see where your feelings are at. I think you handled the conversation okay, especially cutting the conversation short, but I think attraction-wise it would be more effective if you sounded upbeat and enthusiastic, as if you love life right now. That would not only strike a good vibe with her, but would probably also leave her wondering why you're so happy after the breakup and may make her want you more. If you don't want to get friendzoned, don't talk to her much, and just for unavoidable conversations sound happy. However, she has a new guy right? You're not actively pursuing her, are you? It'd be a good idea to try to move on, I think. Link to comment
Sac Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 well no im not pursuing her. thats stupid if she gots a guy (im pretty sure she has but she hasnt told me?? oh and a weird thing ive noticed...this is so wrong but i did it...i went onto her msn and her profile pic was her and this guy, but when she talk to me on msn she always changes to just her!) . she is at UNI and im guessing down for the easter week..is it worht meeting up and showing my happy upbeat attitude if she asks im Link to comment
Speranza Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I think she will think you come accross as hurt... Link to comment
Sac Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 well im not going to lie i am. but im alot better than i was. but how can you show someone your not haha Link to comment
DanDee Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Yeah, I agree that she knows you're probably hurt. And that's why you deleted your FB account too. But I just don't see any point in acting happy when you're not. And (in my personal opinion) I don't think you should be in contact at this point - tell her straight up how you need some space to move on. If she's a decent girl, she'll understand this. Link to comment
Sac Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 id just like to add. i deleted my account like a week ago and wasnt actually using it for 2 weeks Link to comment
Pinnsvini Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 If you don't want to be friend-zoned I'd stay away. Doesn't look like she's interested in you romantically any more. Link to comment
Sac Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 haha thanks.. next time i will need to be more positive and happy.. i think if she wants to meet me to hand over my possesion..maybe i should and be really happy, polite ect. and then thats it NC again??? Link to comment
Sac Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 Cancel the planned meet at first,she'll think that uv started to put other things first and have more important things to do..it'll make her think. Dont say what you are doing though,just say sorry gonna have to rearrange,can we make the day after? Trust me..its sure fire to get her thinking. will do then if she asks Link to comment
uhohlala Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Cancel the planned meet at first,she'll think that uv started to put other things first and have more important things to do..it'll make her think. Dont say what you are doing though,just say sorry gonna have to rearrange,can we make the day after? Trust me..its sure fire to get her thinking. Yes to this. I think you handled the messaging convo well. And as others have said, keep interaction with her short and very upbeat. You might feel grumpy and guarded but you won't accomplish anything at all by showing her that. Take her with a whole handful of salt. Until she explicitly states that she's single and is interested in getting back together, interacting with her jeopardizes your well-being and healing. Good luck! Link to comment
Sac Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 Yes to this. I think you handled the messaging convo well. And as others have said, keep interaction with her short and very upbeat. You might feel grumpy and guarded but you won't accomplish anything at all by showing her that. Take her with a whole handful of salt. Until she explicitly states that she's single and is interested in getting back together, interacting with her jeopardizes your well-being and healing. Good luck! i will do if she does then, either way if she doesent it just helps me move on. * * * * ty thing is she hasnt told me she has a bf yet. annoying as ive know for ages it feels Link to comment
Sac Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 Sac im in the same boat,i thought she was seeing someone before she finished it with me but i didnt have proof. He is welcome to her,its just like a mobile phone,im gona go out and get an upgrade when my contract runs out ;-) its actually werid as. 3 weeks NC i was feeling good and this has put me back a tiny bit as shes reached out twice in a sense in less than a week. and knowing what i do and she thinks i dont know. makes it more weird... ahh * * * * it shes made her bed ill let her sleep in it. Link to comment
Sac Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 The way i look at it,she has her own life now,she isnt my girlfriend..so if i ever saw them id give him the sort of grin that says "i know what your new girlfriend looks like naked and i know what she likes...if you know what i mean haha " Turn a negative into a positive. haha. i had her first!!! harhar thats cheered me up a bit. i acutally got told by someone if my ex facbooks status changes to her new bf.. a week later to change mine to a relationship too see what her reaction is haha. i dont think i will do that tho. its a bit nuts Link to comment
Sac Posted April 2, 2010 Author Share Posted April 2, 2010 hello do you think its a good idea if i go round my ex's house and drop of her book and just immedietly go? she hasnt mentioned her book to me (ive only realised since she mentioned my reindeer toy) just thought it would be a nice gesture..and shows i dont want "her" lying around my house haha or does this go against NC? Link to comment
uhohlala Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 hello do you think its a good idea if i go round my ex's house and drop of her book and just immedietly go? she hasnt mentioned her book to me (ive only realised since she mentioned my reindeer toy) just thought it would be a nice gesture..and shows i dont want "her" lying around my house haha or does this go against NC? Sure, drop it off -- leave it in the mailbox, or somewhere she'll be sure to find it, with a short note, "You left this at my place, thought you might want it back." Don't follow up with an email. Don't book a time to go over to drop it off. Just do it. She might acknowledge with an email; you're not obliged to respond. Link to comment
iBroken Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 It shows that you are trying to find a reason to see her if she hasnt mentioned it. Id pass on suddenly showing up somewhere with something she hasnt specifically asked for. Link to comment
Sac Posted April 2, 2010 Author Share Posted April 2, 2010 It shows that you are trying to find a reason to see her if she hasnt mentioned it. Id pass on suddenly showing up somewhere with something she hasnt specifically asked for. ahh yeah i realised that sorry thank you tho. considering sending her an email judged of this msn convo saying "if you want to give me the reindeer back you can as ive realised i still have your book, you mentioning the reindeer reminded me" or is that still too needy? i dont want to come accross like im trying to see her cause i really dont mind if i dont Link to comment
iBroken Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 You are still trying to reach out to her....leave it alone Let her be in touch with you for her things....until then, box all of her belongings Im not trying to be blunt, but I have been there myself and from experience, I can tell you it does no good. The sooner you stop trying to find reasons to keep in touch, the sooner you will feel better and heal Link to comment
Sac Posted April 2, 2010 Author Share Posted April 2, 2010 You are still trying to reach out to her....leave it alone Let her be in touch with you for her things....until then, box all of her belongings Im not trying to be blunt, but I have been there myself and from experience, I can tell you it does no good. The sooner you stop trying to find reasons to keep in touch, the sooner you will feel better and heal ahh ok. why do you think she hasnt asked for it, she forgoten or she doesent care that much either? Link to comment
iBroken Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 I don't think she really cares about either items right now. She might one day, she might not. Link to comment
uhohlala Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 It does kind of sound like you're grasping at straws. You've already mentioned having the book, she hasn't sought it. So no worries. If she wants it she'll let you know. Put it in a bag, stick it in the corner of your closet, and forget about it. Link to comment
Sac Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 i saw my ex out when clubbing 2 days ago..she was looking for me and noticed my hair has changed style and liked my new jacket and wants one like it... thats pretty much it.....and today she popped round my house..its all explained below ahhh guys i spoke to my ex's sister on facebook and heres the convo... im not sure if i messed up here.... yikes Austin im good ta your sister woke me up lol 13:09Christie haha how did that happen?!! 13:09Austin she knocked on door gave me back my reindeer... so i gave her back her book 13:10Christie lol i bet that was awkward! 13:13Austin it was ok actually tbh. im losing respect for her and i didnt want that but i am. her making the odd contact with me and not telling me she is seeing someone else is being deceitful i still want her to be happy though 13:14Christie she didn't ever cheat on you and there was nothing going on with this current bloke whilst she was with you. good thing too, cos i'd have been furious with her!! 13:14Austin ive never assumed that.. really havent just dont know why she hasnt told me 13:15Christie it'll be because she didn't want to make you more hurt than you probably are feeling right now. we're both in the same boat- have been dumped by people if you ever want to talk about this, talk to me. i can totally empathise 13:15Austin im not hurt anymore lol. shes been with him ages 13:16Christie when did you find out? 13:16Austin well i got told liek alst week but ive known for like months lol 13:16Christie fair enough have you got anyone on the horizon? 13:17Austin took a girl called rosie to the cinema friday just casuall dating 13:17Christie oooh!! how did you both meet? night out or course? 13:18Austin um nah known her for like about a month and supported her really as she got cheated on thats it really really ncie girl. tall tho haah very pretty 13:19Christie ah its great you've found somebody it's important after finishing a long relationship that you don't rush into anything and get too attached too quickly in case you get hurt again 13:20Austin havent found somebody just a casuall date, not hing serious 13:20Christie that's what i learnt when i was seeing someone i worked with for about 4 months then i kind of got hurt! lol 13:21Austin yeah it does suck getting hurt past is the past 13:22Christie that's very true out with the old and in with the new? 13:22Austin a good way to look at it i guess 13:23Christie sometimes finding someone else does heal a broken heart. as bad as tom was, he was what made me get over john and forget about him 13:23Austin true but maybe its not a great to deal with it. id rather forget alone and be ready for a new one clean slate 13:24Christie yeah you can do it that way too i guess 13:24Austin all have different ways of coping 13:24Christie it's important to spend lots and lots of time with mates and spend * * * * loads of money.... go on holidays. that's exactly what i did and it worked!! 13:25Austin true 13:27Austin sorry for bringing her up, just popped into my life and at my door so to speak lol 13:30Austin you doing anything interesting today 13:41Christie ah don't worry, that's alright i bring john into conversations too without meaning to. that's totally normal i find that it's best to lose all contact with john altogether. time's the greatest healer, as are your friends 13:42Austin oh yeah it is. thats why i said i dont know why my ex does meh 13:43Christie yep meh is the best way to see things! 13:43Austin u still at your place i cant remember where it is 13:43Christie use that word a lot these days! yeah we still live in up hatherley the estate opposite morrisons 13:43Austin thttas the badger 13:44Christie but the roads leading up to our house are confusing. even taxi drivers don't know where we are! the annoying thing is that me and andy wanted high speed fibre-optic internet. we phoned virgin and they said that the cable only went up to 2 doors away from us. boo hiss. we were gutted.... grrrr!! 13:46Austin that sucks 13:46Christie yeah damn right it does1 13:46Austin grrr haah 13:46Christie right i'm going to go and get on with some much-needed work and possibly play on mario kart! lol if you want to pop round here or whatever then you can 13:47Austin thats sounds cool. yeah im going to cinema to watch clash of titanssoon. yeah i may do i seem to be traveling alot these days now take care x 13:47Christie yeah you too bye! i asked her roomate a question and her roommate spoke to me aswell Austin hey chess, sorry if you dont want me talk to you...um whats this key..is a key to yours or joes? 15:16Francesca hey haha dont be silly. no its a key to his he gave me wanted him to have it back. 15:17Austin oh ok fair enough. just got bamboozled when handed it 15:17Francesca lou gave it to ya? 15:18Austin yeah poped round to give me reindeer and this glorious looking pink key. nom 15:18Francesca reindeer? oh the teddy 15:18Austin some child hood poession. i told her not too worry about it like monday and she came round and gave me it 15:18Francesca well you could look at that as a good thing you can both move on now 15:19Austin we moved on ages ago 15:19Francesca yeah 15:19Austin shes been with laurence for like months 15:19Francesca yeah i know she didnt do that on purpose though it was just kind of a rebound thing that turned into a real thing she never even thought about him like that when you two were together 15:20Austin thats fine. he seems like great guy and i want her to be happy 15:20Francesca yeah and she wants you to be happy too. its the nicest break up ive ever seen 15:21Austin haha yeah she deserves to be happy so u know thats it really 15:21Francesca you do too you just didnt work as a couple neither of you deserve to be unhappy anyway gonna play scramble now so cant talk haha take care xx 15:23Austin you too x Link to comment
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