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here it is

 

ex gf is in bold

 

hullo, sorry for the missed call the other day - you alright?

 

yeah im great thanks, no need to apolagize. hope your good too

 

yeahh i'm alright thanks

surprised you weren't out on saturday?

 

went out night before..had to finish my advert of anyway

 

ah i see. i saw joe & alex there

 

lyndon said he was out..maybe he didnt go. how are they

 

dunnnoo, didn't speak to joe just saw him

and said hello to alex that was pretty much it methinks

 

thou apparently i spoke to joe later on on the phone cause nia kinda got stranded with him ha

 

ahh i see

 

things good with you generally?

 

yeah tbh really good ta

why did u ring anyway

 

that's gooood

i have your reindeer toy in chelts with me, would quite like you to have it back cause it's from your childhood

would be different if it was something you bought me but you had it agesss

 

if you want to. doesent bother me

forgot about it tbh, thought you would of got rid of it

 

nahh why would i do that

we didn't end on bad terms i didn't think? hmm does that mean you threw away the stuff i made you?

 

dont think so. told my mum to do something with it

no not bad terms

 

fair enough

hopefully recycled then ha

what's happened to your FB?

 

its gone

 

willingly? or did it delete itself?

 

it really doesent matter sorry if that sounds aggressive

 

it doesnt really i guess

 

i wasnt using it so i just deactivated it

and i have other things going on and its a distraction

 

fair enough

college going ok and stuff?

 

yeah dressed as kurt cobain for the week wig and all. sorry i have to go i have a phone call.

 

so yes 17 months together. broke up 8 weeks ago...3 weeks into break up she gets a new guy... so anybody getting anything from this? i dont want to be friend zoned here. but i dont want to come accross like a

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Sorry, but you seem a bit -- either aggressive and seriously annoyed by her or just not interested in talking with her anymore/don't feel anything towards her. I'm not sure which way she would've taken it...

 

But she's obviously still interested in talking to you. Her getting a new bf so soon after your break-up seems like she just wants to keep you as a friend though.

 

If you want to get back with her, ask her straight up - "is there any chance we can work things out?" if she says no, end contact for the time being, just until you're over her.

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Sorry, but you seem a bit -- either aggressive and seriously annoyed by her or just not interested in talking with her anymore/don't feel anything towards her. I'm not sure which way she would've taken it...

 

But she's obviously still interested in talking to you. Her getting a new bf so soon after your break-up seems like she just wants to keep you as a friend though.

 

If you want to get back with her, ask her straight up - "is there any chance we can work things out?" if she says no, end contact for the time being, just until you're over her.

 

ahh. thats the thing i want to be! so nice to her im not annoyed either..i love her to bits. but im scared of being friend zoned as she has a bf... she hasnt told me she has yet tho...so im trying to not be interrested aghhh

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Sounds like she's checking up on you, as exes do every so often, and talk to you and see what's up. This is my opinion, but I feel when exes do this they are also, purposefully or not, trying to see where your feelings are at.

 

I think you handled the conversation okay, especially cutting the conversation short, but I think attraction-wise it would be more effective if you sounded upbeat and enthusiastic, as if you love life right now. That would not only strike a good vibe with her, but would probably also leave her wondering why you're so happy after the breakup and may make her want you more.

 

If you don't want to get friendzoned, don't talk to her much, and just for unavoidable conversations sound happy.

 

However, she has a new guy right? You're not actively pursuing her, are you? It'd be a good idea to try to move on, I think.

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well no im not pursuing her. thats stupid if she gots a guy (im pretty sure she has but she hasnt told me?? oh and a weird thing ive noticed...this is so wrong but i did it...i went onto her msn and her profile pic was her and this guy, but when she talk to me on msn she always changes to just her!) . she is at UNI and im guessing down for the easter week..is it worht meeting up and showing my happy upbeat attitude if she asks

 

im

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Yeah, I agree that she knows you're probably hurt. And that's why you deleted your FB account too.

 

But I just don't see any point in acting happy when you're not. And (in my personal opinion) I don't think you should be in contact at this point - tell her straight up how you need some space to move on. If she's a decent girl, she'll understand this.

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haha thanks.. next time i will need to be more positive and happy.. i think if she wants to meet me to hand over my possesion..maybe i should and be really happy, polite ect. and then thats it NC again???

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Cancel the planned meet at first,she'll think that uv started to put other things first and have more important things to do..it'll make her think. Dont say what you are doing though,just say sorry gonna have to rearrange,can we make the day after? Trust me..its sure fire to get her thinking.

 

will do then if she asks

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Cancel the planned meet at first,she'll think that uv started to put other things first and have more important things to do..it'll make her think. Dont say what you are doing though,just say sorry gonna have to rearrange,can we make the day after? Trust me..its sure fire to get her thinking.

 

Yes to this.

 

I think you handled the messaging convo well. And as others have said, keep interaction with her short and very upbeat. You might feel grumpy and guarded but you won't accomplish anything at all by showing her that.

 

Take her with a whole handful of salt. Until she explicitly states that she's single and is interested in getting back together, interacting with her jeopardizes your well-being and healing.

 

Good luck!

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Yes to this.

 

I think you handled the messaging convo well. And as others have said, keep interaction with her short and very upbeat. You might feel grumpy and guarded but you won't accomplish anything at all by showing her that.

 

Take her with a whole handful of salt. Until she explicitly states that she's single and is interested in getting back together, interacting with her jeopardizes your well-being and healing.

 

Good luck!

 

i will do if she does then, either way if she doesent it just helps me move on. * * * * ty thing is she hasnt told me she has a bf yet. annoying as ive know for ages it feels

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Sac im in the same boat,i thought she was seeing someone before she finished it with me but i didnt have proof. He is welcome to her,its just like a mobile phone,im gona go out and get an upgrade when my contract runs out ;-)

 

its actually werid as. 3 weeks NC i was feeling good and this has put me back a tiny bit as shes reached out twice in a sense in less than a week. and knowing what i do and she thinks i dont know. makes it more weird... ahh * * * * it shes made her bed ill let her sleep in it.

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The way i look at it,she has her own life now,she isnt my girlfriend..so if i ever saw them id give him the sort of grin that says "i know what your new girlfriend looks like naked and i know what she likes...if you know what i mean haha "

 

Turn a negative into a positive.

 

haha. i had her first!!! harhar thats cheered me up a bit. i acutally got told by someone if my ex facbooks status changes to her new bf.. a week later to change mine to a relationship too see what her reaction is haha. i dont think i will do that tho. its a bit nuts

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hello do you think its a good idea if i go round my ex's house and drop of her book and just immedietly go?

 

she hasnt mentioned her book to me (ive only realised since she mentioned my reindeer toy) just thought it would be a nice gesture..and shows i dont want "her" lying around my house haha or does this go against NC?

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hello do you think its a good idea if i go round my ex's house and drop of her book and just immedietly go?

 

she hasnt mentioned her book to me (ive only realised since she mentioned my reindeer toy) just thought it would be a nice gesture..and shows i dont want "her" lying around my house haha or does this go against NC?

 

Sure, drop it off -- leave it in the mailbox, or somewhere she'll be sure to find it, with a short note, "You left this at my place, thought you might want it back." Don't follow up with an email. Don't book a time to go over to drop it off. Just do it. She might acknowledge with an email; you're not obliged to respond.

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It shows that you are trying to find a reason to see her if she hasnt mentioned it.

 

Id pass on suddenly showing up somewhere with something she hasnt specifically asked for.

 

ahh yeah i realised that sorry thank you tho. considering sending her an email judged of this msn convo saying

 

"if you want to give me the reindeer back you can as ive realised i still have your book, you mentioning the reindeer reminded me"

 

or is that still too needy? i dont want to come accross like im trying to see her cause i really dont mind if i dont

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You are still trying to reach out to her....leave it alone

 

Let her be in touch with you for her things....until then, box all of her belongings

 

Im not trying to be blunt, but I have been there myself and from experience, I can tell you it does no good. The sooner you stop trying to find reasons to keep in touch, the sooner you will feel better and heal

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You are still trying to reach out to her....leave it alone

 

Let her be in touch with you for her things....until then, box all of her belongings

 

Im not trying to be blunt, but I have been there myself and from experience, I can tell you it does no good. The sooner you stop trying to find reasons to keep in touch, the sooner you will feel better and heal

 

ahh ok. why do you think she hasnt asked for it, she forgoten or she doesent care that much either?

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It does kind of sound like you're grasping at straws. You've already mentioned having the book, she hasn't sought it. So no worries. If she wants it she'll let you know. Put it in a bag, stick it in the corner of your closet, and forget about it.

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i saw my ex out when clubbing 2 days ago..she was looking for me and noticed my hair has changed style and liked my new jacket and wants one like it... thats pretty much it.....and today she popped round my house..its all explained below

 

ahhh guys i spoke to my ex's sister on facebook and heres the convo... im not sure if i messed up here.... yikes

 

Austin

 

im good ta your sister woke me up lol

13:09Christie

 

haha

 

how did that happen?!!

13:09Austin

 

she knocked on door gave me back my reindeer... so i gave her back her book

13:10Christie

 

lol

 

i bet that was awkward!

13:13Austin

 

it was ok actually tbh. im losing respect for her and i didnt want that but i am. her making the odd contact with me and not telling me she is seeing someone else is being deceitful

 

i still want her to be happy though

13:14Christie

 

she didn't ever cheat on you and there was nothing going on with this current bloke whilst she was with you.

 

good thing too, cos i'd have been furious with her!!

13:14Austin

 

ive never assumed that.. really havent just dont know why she hasnt told me

13:15Christie

 

it'll be because she didn't want to make you more hurt than you probably are feeling right now.

 

we're both in the same boat- have been dumped by people

 

if you ever want to talk about this, talk to me. i can totally empathise

13:15Austin

 

im not hurt anymore lol. shes been with him ages

13:16Christie

 

when did you find out?

13:16Austin

 

well i got told liek alst week but ive known for like months

 

lol

13:16Christie

 

fair enough

 

have you got anyone on the horizon?

13:17Austin

 

took a girl called rosie to the cinema friday

 

just casuall dating

13:17Christie

 

oooh!!

 

how did you both meet?

 

night out or course?

13:18Austin

 

um nah known her for like about a month and supported her really as she got cheated on thats it really

 

really ncie girl. tall tho haah

 

very pretty

13:19Christie

 

ah its great you've found somebody

 

it's important after finishing a long relationship that you don't rush into anything and get too attached too quickly in case you get hurt again

13:20Austin

 

havent found somebody just a casuall date, not hing serious

13:20Christie

 

that's what i learnt when i was seeing someone i worked with for about 4 months

 

then i kind of got hurt! lol

13:21Austin

 

yeah it does suck getting hurt

 

past is the past

13:22Christie

 

that's very true

 

out with the old and in with the new?

13:22Austin

 

a good way to look at it i guess

13:23Christie

 

sometimes finding someone else does heal a broken heart.

 

as bad as tom was, he was what made me get over john and forget about him

13:23Austin

 

true but maybe its not a great to deal with it. id rather forget alone and be ready for a new one

 

clean slate

13:24Christie

 

yeah you can do it that way too i guess

13:24Austin

 

all have different ways of coping

13:24Christie

 

it's important to spend lots and lots of time with mates and spend * * * * loads of money.... go on holidays.

 

that's exactly what i did and it worked!!

13:25Austin

 

true

13:27Austin

 

sorry for bringing her up, just popped into my life and at my door

 

so to speak lol

13:30Austin

 

you doing anything interesting today

13:41Christie

 

ah don't worry, that's alright

 

i bring john into conversations too without meaning to. that's totally normal

 

i find that it's best to lose all contact with john altogether. time's the greatest healer, as are your friends

13:42Austin

 

oh yeah it is. thats why i said i dont know why my ex does

 

meh

13:43Christie

 

yep meh is the best way to see things!

13:43Austin

 

u still at your place i cant remember where it is

13:43Christie

 

use that word a lot these days!

 

yeah we still live in up hatherley

 

the estate opposite morrisons

13:43Austin

 

thttas the badger

13:44Christie

 

but the roads leading up to our house are confusing. even taxi drivers don't know where we are!

 

the annoying thing is that me and andy wanted high speed fibre-optic internet. we phoned virgin and they said that the cable only went up to 2 doors away from us. boo hiss. we were gutted....

 

grrrr!!

13:46Austin

 

that sucks

13:46Christie

 

yeah damn right it does1

13:46Austin

 

grrr haah

13:46Christie

 

right i'm going to go and get on with some much-needed work and possibly play on mario kart! lol

 

if you want to pop round here or whatever then you can

13:47Austin

 

thats sounds cool. yeah im going to cinema to watch clash of titanssoon. yeah i may do i seem to be traveling alot these days now

 

take care x

13:47Christie

 

yeah you too bye!

 

i asked her roomate a question and her roommate spoke to me aswell

 

Austin

 

hey chess, sorry if you dont want me talk to you...um whats this key..is a key to yours or joes?

 

15:16Francesca

 

hey haha dont be silly. no its a key to his he gave me

 

wanted him to have it back.

15:17Austin

 

oh ok fair enough. just got bamboozled when handed it

15:17Francesca

 

lou gave it to ya?

15:18Austin

 

yeah poped round to give me reindeer and this glorious looking pink key. nom

15:18Francesca

 

reindeer?

 

oh the teddy

15:18Austin

 

some child hood poession. i told her not too worry about it like monday and she came round and gave me it

15:18Francesca

 

well you could look at that as a good thing

 

you can both move on now

 

 

15:19Austin

 

we moved on ages ago

15:19Francesca

 

yeah

15:19Austin

 

shes been with laurence for like months

15:19Francesca

 

yeah i know

 

she didnt do that on purpose though

 

it was just kind of a rebound thing that turned into a real thing

 

she never even thought about him like that when you two were together

15:20Austin

 

thats fine. he seems like great guy and i want her to be happy

15:20Francesca

 

yeah and she wants you to be happy too.

 

its the nicest break up ive ever seen

15:21Austin

 

haha

 

yeah she deserves to be happy so u know thats it really

15:21Francesca

 

you do too

 

you just didnt work as a couple neither of you deserve to be unhappy

 

anyway gonna play scramble now so cant talk haha

 

take care xx

15:23Austin

 

you too x

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