please help im losing the will to live

[preppygirl]

i am so depressed right now... my life is such a lonely one,ive no friends..i say no friends of course i know people and speak to them in a friendly manner but ive no special friends like socially,ive no job and im finding it very hard to get employed cos im shy and when i turn up to the interview i get so nervous..how the hell am i gonna get a job when they dont even give me the chance? im skint to top it off with not having a job there are so many things that i want,i want this image yet i cant achieve it cos again iv no money from no job..i am stuck in the house 24/7 so with it being that way i get negative thoughts swimming around in my head,useless ones that make me so angered depressed and paranoid that maybe arent even reality yet scare me,ive got so much time on my hands i can think think think till i feel that the whole world hates me.which is obviously not good cos i end up going back to past regrets and things iv done or said to make people hate me.i just get moments where i'm fine then suddenly i watch tv or something and it reminds me of how lonely i am,i havent told u i have a boyfriend,hes my best friend im in love with him yet hes the only good part of my life,im afraid its the ONLY thing thats keeping me going to be honest and thats not good i know,when he tells me about his plans about doing this and that its like im gettin neglected cos im not included in his plans,i have so much emptiness in my life that i look to him to fill me up yet i dont get the satisfaction i need,and so i get fed up and upset cos hes out having a good time with his mates and when he tells me i should go out with mine i start feeling sorry for myself and he knows ill end up doing nothing and ill be stuck in...how can that be possibly attractive? wudnt he prefer someone independent? of course i give him his space and i explained that im a loner and id prefer it that way most of the time,im not proud of the fact im just on the verge of breaking down crying.i know i have to put on an act as if im happy in front of my bf to keep the one good part of my life cos he means so much to me..i cant be myself and act fed up all the time can i? so its painful,yes it certaintly is,cheesy smiling when i feel totally crap inside.my boyfriend is off to another country soon for two days and i wont see him two and a half and im dreading it with all my heart,i just know itll b ages til he gets in contact and he said hell b drinking at a bar and doing this an that for one of the days which is making me feel awful what am i to do to feel better ? my life seems hopeless,im a very attractive young woman and i havent a flaw about me yet i AM unconfident now iv develpoed such a lonesome life,i dont even like events where its crowded with people,i dont like big social events id rather it be a minimum of 6 people tops.please can anybody help me? i feel my life jst isnt worth it,i need people in my life,may i also add that if i have male friends,they end up fancying me and wantin one thing only then dont want to be friends if they no longer like me and dont bother and act like im annoying,and girls just act bitchy with me so i cant be friends with ANYONE really!!! what am i to do? im lucky to have an incredible boyfriend but surely i dont deserve a miserable life like this?!

[nenez]

You have a lot of posisitves in your life

You have a boyfriend who loves you

You are attractive

You are articulate (on paper at least)

Your problem is that you cant see this.

My best advice is to take a good look at yourself and write down what you see and what is inside. Divide the list into positive and negative, be brutally honest.

the plus up your good points. make the most of your good looks.

Look at the negative and evalauate them, Are they really negative or just percieved as such eg aggressive or assertive. Some shyness can be very attractive, noisy people are not what everyone wants.

When you go for a job, prepare thoroughly. Have a list of questions to ask and prepare answers to questions they may ask. Wear your best underwear (this makes you feel good) and if you feel stumped imagine the interviewer in the scruffiest underwear ever. this will make them seem less threatening.

Tell them you are shy at first. Tell them you want the job. Go for jobs that do not require you to deal with millions of people every day. tell them how hard you work.

Remember you are a goddess, you are a woman, you have the power.

Lots of love

Nenez xxx

[woobiegirl]

Hi Preppygirl,

 

I read your prior 2 posts to get a better feel for what's going on with you right now. First, how did your wedding go? I know you we're hesitent to go because of his cousine who talked about other girls all the time. I hope you had a good time!

 

In reading your 2nd post, I get the feeling it's carried over to this post. First, let's change the "losing the will to live" to "how do I make it wonderful" I don't know your age, so I'm going to suggest a few things to think about. Take a notepad and draw a line down the middle. On one side write all the positive things in your life (i.e. family, friends, accomplishments, your talents, the things you like about yourself, the things others like about you, etc. On the other 1/2 write down what you are unhappy with or want to change. That gives you a visual and an actual plan to work from. I may be wrong preppygirl, but I'm going to be upfront....It sounds like you are very hard on yourself, like your punishing yourself. It could be your self esteem, no matter how much others pump us up, if we don't love ourselves we will never be totally happy inside. The "Best" you will not come to surface. If this is a temporary depression then it will pass, if it's on going and your moods are constantly up and down, I would talk to you doctor if possible. You could have a very common chemistry imbalance and no matter how hard you try to overcome it, you may need a temporary perscription. If you feel you are a happy person 90% of the time then I would work on building your own life and not rely on your b/f to bring you happiness. Sounds like he is getting a bit moody, snappy, and distant....it may be because he's feeling like no matter what he does or says he isn't making you happy, so he's overreacting and reading into your body language even though you may not mean it as he's viewing it.

 

Work on making yourself busy, busy and busy! It will keep your mind occupied. Spending time to yourself is very healthy, but not to the point you are bored. There's way too many things in this life to do, being bored is wasting precious hours of your life. Getting a job is an excellent idea, one I would suggest working on 1st! That will get you out of the hosue, around new people, you'll be learning new things and earning some $$ which will give you independence. Also do some reading, I know it doesn't sound exciting, but I read many self help books and they do HELP and they do build your confidence level. Stop worrying about others, if you don't like big crowds, that's fine...many of us don't either. I'd rathe have a few "real" friends than 100 fake ones. If the male friends can't be friends because they have other intentions, they aren't the male friends you want anyway. Having both male and female friends is healthy because it gives you both points of views.

 

You sound like you have an incredible b/f and you are obviously an attractive girl...so you have allot already going for you. Maybe do some volunteer work which always snaps us back to reality when we see what "ill fated" issues others have to deal with. I'm not minimizing your situation...but if it's not medical related you will need to work on it yourself and work on it with all your heart. It will bring much more happiness than what you feeling now.

 

Feel free to PM if you'd like, I'm here for you anytime.

 

A big smile for you...

and these are for you...

 

Woobiegirl

[woobiegirl]

LOL...Well Menez, I was writing my response while you posted yours and I see where on the same track.

 

I like your posts, you offer great advice.

 

There ya go preppygirl, you already have 2 new friends. Write us anytime.

 

Woobiegirl...

[wendella]

Way to go Nenez, Kudos!!! Reading your post gave me a boost, you are inspiring. I think women need to remember they are goddesses. Thanks.

 

Say to yourself and mean it girls....I am a worthwhile woman and I deserve to be loved and respected!!!

 

Wish you all the best.

 

Wendella