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This is probably a waste of time but...

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...I'd like for a few people to reassure me that it's a waste of time lol.


Facebook is a great way to reconnect with old friends. Well I recently found a girl I knew from high school that I had a huge crush on. I never told her...she probably never even knew. But anyway I found her and it's funny after all this time, nearly 10 years, I still have feelings for her.


The problem is she's REALLY pretty and she could date any guy she wants. So already I've got that against me. But the biggest problem of all is she lives 2000 miles away. I asked her if she's ever going to come back and she said yea, to visit this summer.


She's like, we should hang out. Great, I'm thinking! We exchanged numbers. After that, I've sent a few messages her way....I wrote about two paragraphs, she wrote back two sentences. Then I replied again a week ago and never heard back.


I was really hoping to reconnect but it looks like that isn't going to happen. What was I expecting from all this...well I was hoping to get really close with her again, hang out a few times, and figure out a way to get a relationship going, but to me, it seems like this is impossible and it was stupid of me for even thinking it.


Sure was a nice distraction though. Now I feel all lonely and desperate again.


BTW link removed has been a huge waste of money so far...so it's not like i'm not trying to put myself out there.

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Did you just want something to happen with her because of her appearance?


Well....honestly, yeah, partly.


But we were somewhat close in high school. We both had the same sense of humor, we both like the same kinds of music, same kinds of movies, we're both really into computers, swimming...


I'm attracted to her on many levels though...including the fact that we sort of grew up together...as in I knew her for a long time (but never got really friendly with her until high school)

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OK, so you actually knew the girl... that's good. You could always give in one more shot perhaps she's really busy with studies? However (if I was you) my problem wouldn't be - "she's so pretty, she's too good for me etc" which is pretty much setting yourself up for failure anyway. Guys who think this way will ALWAYS end up friendzoned because girls really hate being put on a pedestal. My main worry would be how far away she lives. That's a seriously long way, probably much too far away for her let alone you.


I honestly think you should try and move on. Stay in touch but forget about her as a potential gf. You've probably just built up a fantasy in your head of you/this girl together. And (even if you were a couple) reality would be a million miles from this fantasy anyway.


Try and be more optimistic and look for a girl nearer to you.

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  • 1 month later...

Hard to say.

The guy who came around~10 yrs after high school and seemed to be remembering me (he'd been my boyfriend's roommate) wound up being really hurtful when it turned out he'd always wondered what sex with me would be like and was done with me/ the so-called relationship when he found out.

The suggestion from a guy I thought I'd been good friends with to fly me to see him because his wife was boring was insulting and hurtful.

Both those guys really changed my happy memories by using them in such creepy ways.

The guy I'm seeing now has supposedly been in love with me since we were 13 (a LONG time ago) and is clearly into me on a lot of different levels. We are in an ldr, and when he misunderstood something I said recently, he thought he needed to SHOW me that it isn't just about sex for him--so we spent all of one of our very few precious weekends together being entirely chaste. I was crushed, thought he'd really lost all desire for me, until he explained what he was doing. As sexually frustrating as that weekend was, I'm really glad that he is so clear that it's not just physical for him.

BTW, when he got in touch, he wasn't looking for anything, but I was really happy to hear from him and one thing led to another. If you're into this person in a lot of ways, why not let some of the other ways take the lead?

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