How long does it take for a shy guy to ask you out?

[Valentine]

if it were easy for me to ask him out I would do it to save us both the trouble. But it's not. I would feel completely mortified. It's not something that I'm choosing not to do, i just can't. Even though i have thought about it. I'm not "requiring" him to do it because that would be very hypocritical. But it would be very nice if he did that's why i'm trying to make it as easy as possible for him. I know people get very defensive when a girl waits for a guy to ask her out, like she's committing some kind of crime. But not everyone is as outgoing or has been raised the same way.

[Go Habs Go]

if it were easy for me to ask him out I would do it to save us both the trouble. But it's not. I would feel completely mortified. It's not something that I'm choosing not to do, i just can't. Even though i have thought about it. I'm not "requiring" him to do it because that would be very hypocritical. But it would be very nice if he did that's why i'm trying to make it as easy as possible for him. I know people get very defensive when a girl waits for a guy to ask her out, like she's committing some kind of crime. But not everyone is as outgoing or has been raised the same way.

 

 

Welcome to a man's world hun. It is a difficult task, I agree with you. But someone has to make a move. Hinting someone to ask you out is basically playing games.

[Valentine]

Well...I do think that guys have it MUCH harder. even though some women don't think so. More is expected of them so there's much more pressure. That's why I am so glad i'm not a guy. But I'm not playing games. I'm not sending mixed signals, or trying to confuse him, or mess with his feelings. I'm trying to be as clear as possible. and if he did ask whether i liked him or not i would be completely honest about it. Not asking him out doesn't mean that i'm playing games.

[Go Habs Go]

Well...I do think that guys have it MUCH harder. even though some women don't think so. More is expected of them so there's much more pressure. That's why I am so glad i'm not a guy. But I'm not playing games. I'm not sending mixed signals, or trying to confuse him, or mess with his feelings. I'm trying to be as clear as possible. and if he did ask whether i liked him or not i would be completely honest about it. Not asking him out doesn't mean that i'm playing games.

 

 

You're very much playing games, even if that's not your intention. You keep hinting and hinting and beating around the bush. Basically, you're saying "Come on ask me out. Come on.. come on". You're doing everything possible to get him to ask you out without doing the deed yourself. That in itself is a game.

[Valentine]

You're very much playing games, even if that's not your intention. You keep hinting and hinting and beating around the bush. Basically, you're saying "Come on ask me out. Come on.. come on". You're doing everything possible to get him to ask you out without doing the deed yourself. That in itself is a game.

 

When people play games it's malicious. I'm not being malicious, I'm being honest, i like him and I let him see that. There's nothing wrong with that and I'm not how i am around him just to get him to ask me out, I do it because i genuinely like him, not to get a date. If he asks me out then great, but that's not my purpose.

[change2010]

I can't believe this thread has gotten six pages of replies while most only get two or three replies and die...

 

It's simple. You ask him out or nothing happens. End.

[Valentine]

To all the girls dealing with shy guys... just take the risk, it's definitely worth it! I know it has been for me.

[glucoze]

To all the girls dealing with shy guys... just take the risk, it's definitely worth it! I know it has been for me.

 

So you asked him out?!?!?!!?!?

[Valentine]

I told him that I liked him, and although at first I didn't think it would have turned out as well as it did, I had no regrets. I had one of those "I can't believe I just said that" moments but it felt so good to do it, because there's no more wondering, no more what should I do? He knows now, so how things go from this point on is up to him. It's like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders.

[glucoze]

ahhh thats a great feeling!

[Jake]

What was his reaction when you told him? I'm curious is all.

[glucoze]

That's the same thing I want to know!

[Valentine]

He seemed a little nervous probably because he didn't expect it and seemed like he wasn't sure what to do but there was a lot of smiling and he asked me for my number

[glucoze]

Omgsg so cute... Seriously I am so happy for you.

What's you ask him?

[Valentine]

Omgsg so cute... Seriously I am so happy for you.

What's you ask him?

 

thanks for the support, and well I didn't really ask him anything, i just told him how i felt, I didn't want him to think I was expecting anything.

[Jake]

He seemed a little nervous probably because he didn't expect it and seemed like he wasn't sure what to do but there was a lot of smiling and he asked me for my number

 

Hahaha I was kind of expecting that outcome (in a good way)! Hope it all works out for the best for you.

[shygal2008]

If a girl has made it VERY obvious..even suggested they get to know one another better (outside work) and he can't bring himself to the point to take her up on her suggestion what do you do then? Especially if he's not going away????? He's still there staring, following, showing up where you are, etc.

[bruinsy81]

I think suggesting that you two get to know one another outside of work should be a clear indicator of interest for even very shy men.If he won't ask you out after that suggestion is made then he may never ask you out,so you should ask him out!!

[shy2cool]

shy guys will never ask you out. they are wimps like me and will go out of their way to ignore you even when they really want to be with you.

[shygal2008]

shy guys will never ask you out.

 

WHY????

 

I know some do hang ''around you'' which to me is much more heartbreaking and has to be pure torture for him..what do they get out of being in the same room, staring..from afar of course, but never talking to THE GIRL they want..never got that part of it..have yet to get an answer shy guys

[Helloimshy]

i think most shy guys are as hard to read to girls as girls are to guys. really looking forward to hearing more shy guys replying because i've had a crush on my shy best guy friend for more than half a decade and it's killing me inside. i've tried to forget those feelings numerous times but to no avail. i'm now currently studying in a different country from him ever since the beginning of this year, and i still can't stop thinking about him. it's so terrible. currently a guy has expressed interest in me by asking me out several times... however, i don't have any romantic feelings towards this guy. i'm afraid my never ending 'love' for my best friend will cause me to be single for the rest of my life. i know the most sensible thing is to just ask him directly, but it's not as simple as it sounds. reason being my best girl friend has beat me to it, and she told me he likes her. i don't understand why, if what she said is true, that they have not taken their friendship to another level.

 

while i'm fighting back the feeling of broken heartedness, i just can't seem to get him out of my mind. and recently, he wrote on my facebook wall out of the blue (after many, many months), and i ended up smiling to myself for the rest of the day. i just don't know how he feels about me and my best girl friend, because he keeps many things to himself.

 

so it is true that shy guys will never ask a girl out, as shy2cool said?

 

I agree with shygal2008. we need more guys' insight into this, as shy guys are hard to find, and harder to keep.

[Helloimshy]

sorry, posted twice.

[bruinsy81]

They want to talk to the girl but there social anxiety /fear gets in the way.As far as being in the same room goes,every shy man has a hope that this one time they may be able to break out of there shell or past conditioning or maybe she will come over and talk to him.

[bruinsy81]

I wouldn't go by what your girlfriend said as she obviously has feelings for this guy and knows that you do also ,thus she isn't going to do you any favors in regards to you pursuing this guy.She may want you to think he likes her ,it may or may not be the case.The only option you have at the moment would be to simply send him an email,express your feelings in a concise,direct manner and see how he responds..It's a win win situation[although it may not seem like it right now]..He will either respond positively and you two now may have a possible relationship or you can focus on someone else,there is always someone else..I am sure you likely feel that he is the only one who can make you happy but it just isn't the case.Look at the divorce rates,I am sure most people who get married felt that there partner was there soulmate for eternity but in most cases it just wasn't the case.

[SA_Guy99]

shy guys will never ask you out.

 

WHY????

 

I know some do hang ''around you'' which to me is much more heartbreaking and has to be pure torture for him..what do they get out of being in the same room, staring..from afar of course, but never talking to THE GIRL they want..never got that part of it..have yet to get an answer shy guys

 

It may be chicken ****, but we're hoping that we are attractive to the girl and that she will make a move. It's not that we don't want to make a move, we're just blocked by fear and anxiety. A lot of us just need to know for sure she is interested. It's sad, I know.