How long does it take for a shy guy to ask you out?

[aurevoir]

Well...I haven't asked him out...still waiting...but today he made a lot of progress...I feel like he's more comfortable talking to me now but still isn't ready to take any risks. just talking to him makes me so happy that my cheeks hurt from all the smiling. That has never happened to me before.But...I'm scared to take a risk and lose the friendship I have now.

 

just DO IT.

PLEASE.

you like him more then a friend though.

[MikNomis]

No, you don't want a friendship. Act on the attraction first, get yourself a date right now!

[Jake]

A shy guy will build a scenario in his head of when the PERFECT opportunity arises to ask you out. But in reality there is no "perfect" opportunity...it's all in his head! And it will remain like that because imho he will probably never ask you out.

 

I vote on making the first move as well but I'm a bit biased because I'm a shy guy myself.

 

 

-Jake

[Valentine]

I started dropping a lot of hints when we talk like was suggested but every time I do he gets very quiet and looks down at the floor a lot so I have to keep the conversation going so there's no awkward silence. Does he get nervous? or is he just uncomfortable? He gets this look like he's thinking about something. What if I ask him out and he doesn't say something?

[Green Mile]

He's probably listening to his brain scream "ask her out, just ask her out, do it, do it NOW!" but cos he's a shy guy he can't!

 

I would just get him on his own and ask him outright if he wants to go on a date. He probably really likes you but like Jake said, we always think there will be a "perfect" opportunity yet there rarely ever is so he could be waiting for that moment forever.

[aurevoir]

Just make it as obvious as possible. I'm a shy guy when it comes to women, we are terrified of rejection and even if we have an inkling that a girl likes us we still do nothing about it just in case there's still a 1% chance that we might be wrong and be rejected. Hopefully if you make it obvious enough he will realise 100% that you do like him and pluck up the courage to make a move.

And this smart guy said

 

Now... cutie DO IT. PLEASE. Do not be a total moron like myself and wait a little toooo long so that things get complicated.

I will be lucky, and some angel would be watching me if my shy guy didn't give up on me.

[aurevoir]

I started dropping a lot of hints when we talk like was suggested but every time I do he gets very quiet and looks down at the floor a lot so I have to keep the conversation going so there's no awkward silence. Does he get nervous? or is he just uncomfortable? He gets this look like he's thinking about something. What if I ask him out and he doesn't say something?

 

See you are only playing yourself. You know very well enough he likes you.

Yes he gets nervous around you, because he really likes you.

Looking at the floor is a strong indication he can barely keep eye contact with you. He is not acting normal. He likes you. Just ask him out. Because the more you keep coming back and asking - like I did - time will run out.

[Jake]

See you are only playing yourself. You know very well enough he likes you.

Yes he gets nervous around you, because he really likes you.

Looking at the floor is a strong indication he can barely keep eye contact with you. He is not acting normal. He likes you. Just ask him out. Because the more you keep coming back and asking - like I did - time will run out.

 

 

I totally agree with the above comment.

 

 

-Jake

[Valentine]

I know I keep stalling but technically we've only been talking, as in having actual conversations for a week and a half. if you don't count the weeks of him staring at me before. It feels long because i see him almost every day. So maybe im just being very impatient...im hoping i have a little more time and i wont have to be the one to ask...I have never been in this position before i've never asked anyone out because i've never had to and i'm not real eager to see what rejection feels like...

 

the thought of me asking him out mortifiesssss me. what if he is actually busy or something? Then I won't know if it's an excuse because he's too polite or he actually is doing something. or what if he says no because he's just nervous about it.. idk you never know how somebody's going to react. if i were 100% sure then maybe but im not. what I keep thinking is that just because he likes me doesn't mean he might be interested in dating me...What sucks is that he's probably thinking the same and i can't blame him.

[aurevoir]

You aren't eager to face what rejection feels like? I don't believe this for one second. You were rejected at least once in your life. Maybe not with guys and dating, but in some way you have. So you are ready for rejection. You have gotten over it. Its a new day. The more you wait, it's really your decision. But it's in your hands. Because he is too shy to ask you out. Seriously, it's not like you are going to marry him. Just ask if he wants to hangout after class or something. Seriously. You only make it a big deal if you allow yourself to..

 

Just know. It really sucks waiting and waiting and making the move and having that person slip away. Because thats the situation I am now in, and I have no one else to blame but myself. You live and you learn right?

[Valentine]

well of course i've faced rejection but not with my feelings on the line like this...I really like this guy. But yeah it definitely sucks waiting especially because i feel there's nothing concrete yet. We're just friends he's never asked me for my number never said he liked me never even given me a compliment but his eyes say so much more. and even though i think his shyness is so cute i am going crazy over it. But I feel like it's all speculative.... Well tomorrow's a new day so maybe things'll change for the better.

[aurevoir]

well of course i've faced rejection but not with my feelings on the line like this...I really like this guy. But yeah it definitely sucks waiting especially because i feel there's nothing concrete yet. We're just friends he's never asked me for my number never said he liked me never even given me a compliment but his eyes say so much more. and even though i think his shyness is so cute i am going crazy over it. But I feel like it's all speculative.... Well tomorrow's a new day so maybe things'll change for the better.

 

That is how shy guys are. They like you, they'd love to tell you everything, how they feel, how beautiful you are.. but they can't only because they are afraid of what will happen. Rejection, yes! even if the girl is DAMN obvious she likes you. Thats why you got to keep talking to him and hanging out with him more to make him comfortable, as Jake himself has told me this numerous times. He needs to be more comfortable around you.

No it will change if you make a move.

[Valentine]

Yesterday, he was so close to asking me out, I could feel it. He was getting there with the conversation and with what he was asking me but I feel like he backed out or something. I'm not as impatient now, i've been trying to be more obvious and I definitely understand the nerves since i'm shy too. but do you think that next time he might have the guts to do it? or will he keep hesitating everytime he's about to ask?

[Tony01]

ive read through most of the post here. and im a really shy guy aswell i usually wait a while before i make a move id rather know the opposition is interested first. tbh if u are giving hints he will ask for you number or ask to meet you before the semester is out i could garuntee it because that is what i would do maybe even on the last day but if you be patient and keep hinting he will eventualy come to you

[Schubatis1]

if u are giving hints he will ask for you number or ask to meet you before the semester is out i could garuntee it because that is what i would do maybe even on the last day but if you be patient and keep hinting he will eventualy come to you

 

I disagree; it depends how shy he is. He might be too shy to do anything about it (even if he is 100% confident that you wouldn't reject him).

[Tony01]

you could be right but earlier on in the thread someone said that shy people wait for the perfect moment to ask which is true i really liked a girl in secondary school i never had the guts to ask her cause i was shy she always hinted to me .this lasted for about a year and a half but on the last day of 5th year when we wouldnt see each other again i just went for it cause i didnt wanna regreat not trying i could bet that is what the boy valatine is talking about (waiting for the perfect moment)

[Schubatis1]

Well I'm personally quite shy and I would probably rather let the chance slip rather than take it and risk rejection.

[givinggirl]

I disagree; it depends how shy he is. He might be too shy to do anything about it (even if he is 100% confident that you wouldn't reject him).

 

I don't understand. If he's 100% sure you wouldn't reject him, then why wouldn't he do something about it? What if she did something about it, would he reject her?

[aurevoir]

I don't understand. If he's 100% sure you wouldn't reject him, then why wouldn't he do something about it? What if she did something about it, would he reject her?

 

It confused me too.

[Tony01]

thats why i think he will speaking from my own experience

[Go Habs Go]

That's the tricky part with shy guys. Some just need a little push and will ask you out, where as some others won't make a single move, no matter how much you convince them. The degree of shyness will vary based on the individual, but this is where empathy comes into play. Put yourself in their shoes and think about how they feel and what they're feeling.

 

To say that it's his job to make a move is stereotypical and downright sexist. If you like him and you're certain the feeling is mutual, make a move. If you're still stuck on "Man must make first move" mentality, then go find someone that will accommodate your ego.

 

Bottom line is it doesn't matter who makes the first move, as long as someone does it. I don't mind making the first move, just like I wouldn't mind if a girl made the first move on me.

[givinggirl]

What if the shy guy is the second type that you described above, the girl makes the first move, but the shy guy isn't ready for it, caught off guard and says no because he doesn't know what else to do in that split second? The shy guy really likes the girl and kicks himself in the ass later. The girl was convinced he was interested, and now thinks she must have misread him. The shy guy isn't going to fix the mistake. The girl isn't going to put herself out there again. Now, we have 2 interested parties, on 2 totally different pages, when they are really on the same page, they just don't know it.

[Go Habs Go]

What if the shy guy is the second type that you described above, the girl makes the first move, but the shy guy isn't ready for it, caught off guard and says no because he doesn't know what else to do in that split second? The shy guy really likes the girl and kicks himself in the ass later. The girl was convinced he was interested, and now thinks she must have misread him. The shy guy isn't going to fix the mistake. The girl isn't going to put herself out there again. Now, we have 2 interested parties, on 2 totally different pages, when they are really on the same page, they just don't know it.

 

 

If he says no, that's his loss. I consider myself to be shy, but if a girl I was interested in made a move, I wouldn't say no. But I also think that scenario is quite rare.

[Valentine]

That's the tricky part with shy guys. Some just need a little push and will ask you out, where as some others won't make a single move, no matter how much you convince them. The degree of shyness will vary based on the individual, but this is where empathy comes into play. Put yourself in their shoes and think about how they feel and what they're feeling.

 

He is definitely the needs the little push type. When i've pushed to show him how i feel he has become a lot less shy with me. I just don't know how much i should push so he'll ask me out. i don't want to look desperate.

[Go Habs Go]

He is definitely the needs the little push type. When i've pushed to show him how i feel he has become a lot less shy with me. I just don't know how much i should push so he'll ask me out. i don't want to look desperate.

 

 

Asking someone out isn't desperate. And why is he required to ask you out?