lostandscared5 Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Hi you guys. I am in a dating relationship, but something about the guy seems iffy to me. It is common sense for a guy to call a girl he likes back or to call the girl he likes to check up on her if he knows something wrong is going on in her life right? Then why isn't the guy I am with doing exactly that? It seems like his feelings for me are real; it seems like the concern in his voice for me are real, but there is just something missing. Do I need to tell him to do everything? And even if I do tell him to do something, he doesn't always do them? What is wrong here? I tried to get a hold of him throughout the day just to get to talk but no response, and that hurt me, that made me doubt so many things between us. I am here thinking in his best interest; asking him how he's been, taking things slow, not rushing things, not pushing things, not pressuring things, and sometimes it feels like he's taking advantage of that, while I am over here going through unnecessary pain, stress and suffering. He, on the other hand, isn't showing me that feelings for me are real and genuine and pure. I know his feelings for me are real but his behavior do not shows it and that's where I'm stuck at. Cuz I know that actions mean more than words. But then again I chose to be in this and I really have no one to complain to and no one to blame. This frustrates me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 If you are just dating a guy and he isnt being attentive to your needs early on into the relationship then its probably best to leave the situation before the situation gets any more complex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Can you be a little more specific? What is going "wrong" in your life that you think he should be automatically checking on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taikero Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Making assumptions and expecting things from others is always a plan for failure. "I am over here going through unnecessary pain, stress and suffering." Do something about it. Talk to him. Maybe he doesn't realize what you want. Maybe he's taking it slow for your benefit but it's too slow for you. Communication is important! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citlali Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 How long have you been dating? What is going on in your life that you feel he should be asking about since he knows about it? How often do you guys text, talk or meet? I don't know how long or serious this relationship has been, but it really doesn't sound like you are taking things slowly at all. You claim you are just dating this guy and here you are upset that he isn't calling, texting or talking to you constantly. Does he ignore you for entire weeks? Months? Also, if there is something going on in your life, then maybe that is affecting how you see your relationship with this guy, such that because you are vulnerable and need comfort you expect him to be even more attentive than he might already be. That isn't his fault, though, if he is acting normally according to the length and type of relationship you have. It seems you are looking to him as a cure for whatever it is you are going through. That, however, isn't fair in the sense that if he doesn't constantly talk to you, it means he isn't showing his feelings. Maybe he is doing enough, but your current emotional condition doesn't allow you to see that because you require more attention than usual. If he isn't showing ANY interest at all, that would be different. I feel the important details are missing here. I could be entirely wrong, but I would need to know the length of this relationship, the amount of contact, and how he normally treats you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
top bloke Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 If you have a real problem in your life then he should call you if he cares to see how you are going. This answer is given based solely on what youve posted above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandscared5 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Our dating relationship is going to be two weeks old this Sunday; however, we have been close friends for the past three or four years. We don't really talk much, don't text, don't hang out much, so far he has not ignore me for weeks and months yet. He is the one who wants to take things slow for he is not sure of his feelings for me, and I am doing everything I could to accommodate that. As for how he treats me, I think the way he has treat me hasn't really changed, or maybe it has, but it is too soon to tell. Maybe he is showing interest and I am too blind to see it. Maybe I am expecting too much and he couldn't meet it. As for talking to him, I will talk to him about this and hope that things can change in the future. Maybe you are right day_walker and top_bloke maybe I should just walk out of this relationship. Last but not least I do not think the problem should matter, I think that as a guy who likes me and cares about me, it is messed up that he does not matter to make sure that the girl he likes is doing okay. It could be a little problem or an urgent problem, either way, he should be there to shoulder the problem or burden with her and make sure that she is okay. For me it is common sense and common curiosity to return someone's phone call if you miss their call, especially if that someone is someone you like and you know something is going wrong in her or his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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