A Message...

[Lonewulv]

Im not going to say what my situation is, other than my girlfriend left me, and she is starting to get close with another guy. We haven't spoken for almost two weeks, for I have initiated NC.

 

The reason I don't want to tell about my situation, is because there is something I want you to analyze first.

 

What would you think is going through a girls head, if she puts this as her facebook personal message:

 

"So we'll crawl until we can walk again, then we'll run until we're strong enough to jump, then we'll fly until there is no wind, so lets crawl."

 

They are lyrics to the song Crawl.

 

Here are the rest of the lyrics to the song. Please read over them, then tell me your opinion on what she might be thinking.

 

Everybody sees it's you

I'm the one who lost the view

Everybody says we're through

I hope you haven't said it too

 

So where

Do we go from here

With all this fear in our eyes

And where

Can love take us now

We've been so far down

We can still touch the sky

 

If we crawl

Till we can walk again

Then we'll run

Until we're strong enough to jump

Then we'll fly

Until there is no wind

So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

Back to love, Yeah

Back to love, Yeah

 

Why did I change the pace

Hearts were never meant to race

Always felt the need for space

But now I can't reach your face

 

So where

Are you standing now

Are you in the crowd of my faults

Love, can't you see my hand

I need one more chance

We can still have it all

 

So we'll crawl

Till we'll can walk again

Then we'll run

Until we're strong enough to jump

Then we'll fly

Until there is no wind

So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

Back to love, Yeah

Back to love, yeaaah

 

Everybody see's it's you

Well I never wanna lose that view

 

So we'll crawl

Till we can walk again

Then we'll run

Until we're strong enough to jump

Then we'll fly

Until there is no end

So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

 

So we'll crawl

Till we can walk again

Then we'll run

Until we're strong enough to jump

Then we'll fly

Until there is no end

So let's crawl, let's crawl, lets crawl

Back to love

Back to love yeah

Back to love

[squirl]

Chris Brown is the one who beat Rihanna, right?

 

I would say he is not the greatest choice of spokesperson.

[Lonewulv]

Yes I realize he is an a$$hole, but please forget who the song is by for now, and analyse what her state of mind might be for making this her public profile message.

[DontGetStung]

She only put that line as her status, so I'm taking it as she is "crawling" with this guy until she's over you completely and can "fly away" with him.

 

Without knowing your situation, it's really kind of pointless though.

[shessofly]

definitely don't over analyze that. she might just like the song or it may just be in her head - i've done it before and i know friends of mine who have done that before. if she's getting close to another guy then you certainly shouldn't take as a hint toward you.

[iBroken]

Id say its her way of getting over you.......so shes starting by crawling and when she is healed and free from your pain, she will fly away.

 

Thats how I take it.

[shessofly]

Id say its her way of getting over you.......so shes starting by crawling and when she is healed and free from your pain, she will fly away.

 

Thats how I take it.

 

this is a possibility as well.

[fLuiD]

It is just a status update...Nothing big. Stop looking into it.

 

Why do you still have her on your Facebook friends list? Why isn't she blocked so that you don't see her status updates and you can work on yourself?

[meagainstworld]

Remove her from your friends list immediately!

 

I was in a similar situation... girl left me and I kept lingering on her Facebook page trying to find any signs.

 

It's been a month already, and about a week ago I blocked all access to her page. Constantly checking her page is only going to keep her in your head for every moment of the day, and it's gonna drive you crazy. This a prime example because you're so obligated to figure out what she means by that status update. Do yourself a favor, and hit the "Remove from Friends" button.

 

If she's already into someone else, it ain't worth it for you man. There's plenty of other fish out there.

 

Best of luck to ya, because it's definitely hard :sad:

[Lonewulv]

Im not looking into this to deep. Im simply curious. I know I should delete her account. I am an incredibly curious person, and find it very difficult to let things go. I can't feel satisfied until I know the truth. I am working on improving myself, and moving on, but for the time being, my ass is being planted down because my leg is in a cast. So to keep myself from losing it, It actually helps to analyze the situation. I know it will probably hurt me more in the end, but right now, forgetting it, is a lot harder. Once I am able to walk again, I'll have a lot of things to help occupy myself, and forgetting will be a lot easier. Until then, I feel its something...I have to do, and somehow it keeps my head on straight.

 

Once it starts to hurt. more than it helps, then I'll know its time to delete her.

 

I should probably mention that the new guy isn't really a big deal. Yet. According to her. I thought he was at first, because she is taking him to prom, but she said she was going to take a friend of hers anyway. So I know that message isn't directed at him. I am positive.

 

I'm going to break down the song as best I can, in case anyone is confused as to what it means.

 

Everybody sees it's you

I'm the one who lost the view

 

Everyone else see's that this person is special, but the guy/girl failed to see that before they lost their attraction for the bf/gf.

 

Everybody says we're through

I hope you haven't said it too

 

Everyone else says its over, and to forget about it. The guy/girl hopes that the bf/gf they left, doesn't think that too.

 

So where do we go from here with all this fear in our eyes

And where can love take us now

We've been so far down

We can still touch the sky

 

The guy/girl, is saying they are lost, but they believe there is still a chance for them. A chance to start over.

 

If we crawl

Till we can walk again

Then we'll run

Until we're strong enough to jump

Then we'll fly

Until there is no wind

 

Basically, they are saying that the two of them can start off slow. They can work up to the way it was before. Then eventually, be better than they were to begin with.

 

Why did I change the pace

Hearts were never meant to race

 

The one who left, is wondering why their feelings changed, during the relationship, yet the one they left always felt the same. Always cared.

 

Always felt the need for space

But now I can't reach your face

 

The guy/girl, was constantly pushing away in the relationship, but now that they are falling for them again, they feel they've pushed the bf/gf past the point of no return.

 

So where are you standing now

Are you in the crowd of my faults

 

The guy/girl, is unsure of where the bf/gf stands. They wonder if the bf/gf is still dwelling on the past.

 

Love, can't you see my hand

I need one more chance

We can still have it all

 

Pretty obvious. The guy/girl is asking for a second chance.

 

So...I can't see this as having any other meaning other than: guy/girl leaves bf/gf, regrets it over time, wants to start over. Its not about the guy/girl trying to get over the bf/gf...so they can "fly away" with someone else. Its about asking for forgiveness for breaking their heart, and about reconciliation. Im not saying this because it might be what I WANT to believe. It is what it is.

 

With that said, Im not jumping to any conclusions. Im not going to try to figure out exactly what shes thinking, and im not searching for some kind of deeper meaning to it. Im just going by whats in front of me.

 

Some other things I should mention, that may be important.

 

The account I used to see her profile, is dead. I haven't been on it for years. So I know she didn't put it there In hopes that I would find it, and possibly get a reaction out of me.

 

Her best friend commented on the post. All she did was leave a . If anyone would know what the message meant, it would be her best friend. Leaving a leads me to believe that the message is more than just her liking the song.

 

So there you have it. Those are my thoughts. Please don't leave messages saying "why are you worrying about this?! you should be focusing on yourself!" Trust me, i've heard it many times. I am working on myself, and Im moving on. Im confident in myself, and how im going about this. Theres a possibility that I might be hurt in the end, but I'll deal with it when it comes to that. Im going by the book with everything else (NC). For now, I have to bend it a little.

 

So if you have any constructive comments, please leave them.

[Lonewulv]

edit>>>>>>>>>

[adamt]

this is a reason why facebook is bad after a break up. it messes with your head. you arnt thinking straight and it playing havoc with your head. just unfriend and block her. if you cant do it then get a friend to do it. If you dont do it you will be like this for months then in 12 months time you will regret not doing it sooner. if it is going to work out then it will work out without facebook.

 

you dont want to be about when her profile changes to "in a relationship" or photos cuddling up to a new man.

 

facebook is like self harm sometimes

[epson391]

Im going thorugh the same situation with my ex we broke up 3 weeks ago and she is already seeing another guy and going to a dance with him. I destroys me emotionally to even log into facebook. Trust me, my ex writes things vague like that in order to see if i will react to them. Just log off and stay logged off. Your trying to make the lyric sound like there talking to you but there probably up there to make you go nuts like this.

[epson391]

and also, think about this. Feel bad for the new guy, he doesnt know what he is about to have to deal with either. she is just like my ex using him to get over you. She can be with him because she pictures you there not really him. and remember everything that he does! she is going to compare to you, if he slips up once then its going to cause her to start thinking about you.

[yonanz]

ur overanalyzing things seriously, to me it doesnt mean anything.

 

and so what if it does? its irrelevant. what shes thinking, or what she feels, or worst still, what she thinks shes thinking, it all doesnt matter. focus on yourself and getting yourself back on track. ur living your life, not hers. u still have a life ahead of you, get it back on track and make yourself the focus, not her.

[Lonewulv]

You're right....

 

She put lyrics to another song on her msn profile, with basically the same meaning, except a bit more related to our situation, but that doesn't matter I guess...

 

What did happen tonight though? She broke NC. Although her intentions were to "gather information" for a friend of ours, you can tell she was looking to get a little something out of it as well. Now...its only been like...3 weeks since I initiated NC, and already shes talking to me. Why couldn't my friend have just gone on msn and asked me himself? Who knows, who cares. It probably means nothing, but I figure I'll post anyway.

 

I kept my composure, and as you can see, kept a faint "uninterested" tone.

 

Heres the convo (my thoughts are the red text):

 

HER:

how are the mice? (yeah...as if you expect me to believe thats why you broke NC...lol)

 

(we bought two pet mice when we were together. I recieved custody

 

 

ME:

they're great.

HER:

good

are you still at your dads or did you go to bridgewater with your mum?

(a friend of ours) asked me today and I didnt know

ME:

? how did he know that?

HER:

he didnt know anything

he just asked me what you were up to

so I take it you moved?

ME:

how did you know that?

sorry for all the questions, I just don't recall telling anyone...

HER:

you didnt

I just figured that because you werent exactly happy at your dads house was because the room was so small and the walls were like paper, that when your mum moved to bridgewater to take care of your papa that you might have gone with her

and I knew your mum went because it was on facebook

ME:

ahh

i was there for a week.

i got my knee surgery, so she thought it would be easier.

HER:

in bridgewater?

so you've moved there?

ME:

no...

HER:

I wanna let (a friend of ours) know (sure....)

ME:

okay

i was there for a week.

just visiting

HER:

ohh

ic

so you are still at your dads?

ME:

yes

HER:

okay

hows that working out?

ME:

fine

HER:

right on

ME:

yup. tell (a friend of ours) i'll stop by the school before the year is up.

HER:

alrighty

he was just like whats up with (me)?

hahaha

and I honestly didnt really know (obviously?we're not talking REMEMBER?)

ME:

thats cool. I have to go though.

 

(I set my profile to away before she replied)

 

HER:

kbye

 

 

So there you have it. I made sure I kept it short, didn't show much interest. Played by the rules. As....hard as it was.

 

Like I said, I know this probably means nothing. I thought I should get it out there anyway. What do you think?

[Lonewulv]

My cast comes off tomorrow. I'll be ready to start the journey of self improvement!

 

Any thoughts on the msn convo?

[Lonewulv]

Once again, she contacted me tonight.....

 

 

I don't think im at risk of friendzone, because Im not really acting as a friend. More of a "business associate" type of relationship, like a mutual friend who doesn't play a major role in your life. Another thing I should mention, is she contacts me a long time after she logs in, around the same time as last time, and takes a while before she talks to me. I don't know....but I have a weird feeling Its like: "should I?.....shouldn't I......I'll do it.....maybe not. Okay I will. Here it goes!". I don't know. What do you think?

 

Here it is:

 

HER

nice sub-name

your leg is looking odd?

 

(my sub-name says: cast is off.....looks like....frankenstein)

 

ME

Well...it was pretty bad with all the staples in it. when they yanked them out, it looked even prettier

HER

hahahaha

when they did mine it wasnt too bad

but I got stitches

I have a frim belief that surgeons who use staples instead of stitches are just being lazy

stitches take more time but they hold the cut together better and leave less of a scar

ME

I don't know. this thing is a big jagged crack in the earth. I don't think they could get stitches to hold this together.

HER

Im sure they could

they put friggin retantion sutures in my dad

those are basically stitches as thick as my pinky

staples also tend to get infected more than stitches

so take good care of that incision and clean it lots

ME

yeah deffinately

HER

it'll heal up

with staples it will take longer but it will heal

like honestly staples are easier for the surgeon but for the patient they cause so many more complications

hence my belief

ME

Well they already took them out. It will be a nice ugly scar. But the biggest problem Is getting my mobility back in my knee.

HER

for sure

you'll probably lose a fair amount of muscle mass because of disuse

and moving will mostlikely hurt like hell at first because they fixed a major tendon

stick with physio and what-not

ME

yeah of course

HER

but Im going to bed now that Im done my homework

so peace out

ME

bye

 

 

So there you have it. round 2. Nothing gained. Nothing lost. The way I look at it, I shouldn't ignore her, or tell her again "I think it would be best that we stick to NC" Know why? That would show her that Im still hung up over her! She would know Im still hurting, and that would keep her satisfied. So. I'll reply when she talks, but I won't give her anything to comfort her. I won't be friend-zoned, im going to make HER feel as though SHE is being friend-zoned. Try that one on for size . As short as the convo was, let me know what you think.