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In ANOTHER breakup situation


Allipie

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I posted a couple months ago about a different relationship, and eventually was doing fine.

A male friend and I started dating about a month ago. We had known each other for about 5 years, he knew everything that happened with my ex. He was the person I went to for support when I was going through THAT breakup, was dealing with major depression etc. I completely trusted him and he really was everything to me.

So, we decide to take our friendship to the next level. He called it an 'e-lationship' because we were living in different cities at the time, but I was moving back to the same city in a matter of weeks. So when I move back, he texts a couple days before we were supposed to hang out and says that we have to change the plans-he was kinda dating someone and i would have to sleep on the couch. I got mad and told him to forget our plans for the weekend. A few days later I email him to apologize, tell him that I need some space to work on the depression issues I was still dealing with. He informs me that things didn't work out with that girl because she got back together with her ex, and wishes me good luck in getting better. A week later, I start to really miss him (we would talk every day, all day) and emailed him. Things were.....fine.

So a week later, I end up staying with him for a week. He treated me like his girlfriend, we were intimate etc. There was no way that I took things the wrong way-he would tell me that i meant the world to him, that he didnt want to lose me and be out of my life like my ex, that I was one of his best friends. We took a trip for a few days and on the way, he was texting. I looked over and it was two girls....the girl he had 'dated' and someone else i knew of via mutual friends. I thought it was weird, but didn't say anything. The next day, we were having lunch...i look over and he had picture texts on his phone of the girl he had 'dated'-face shots and underwear shots. I got mad (i mean, 2 hours before, we had sex), told him what i saw, and long story short, booked a flight home.

I later found out that the day after I left, he had brought the other girl he was texting up to our room and hooked up with her. And now I find out via Facebook that him and the first girl are 'in a relationship'....

Some facts about her:

She lives in a different state.

When he told me the first time that they were dating, they had only been talking for about 2 weeks.

She's a drug addict, with two kids.

She used to date a friend of ours and took thousands of dollars from him.

She now refers to him as her 'other half' and hasnt even been in the same state as him.

 

So, I'm devastated. I told him that I trusted him and was lied to, lead on and taken advantage of....that I wish him the best but didn't want to be apart of his life. I'm concerned for HIM being in a relationship with her....it all seems so shady. I know it's not my problem, but after 4 years of friendship....I still care.

 

What do I do?

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you do nothing. let him be. he may have treated you like his girlfriend, but from what i gather from your story, the two of you never made if official. although it really hurts, you will be fine and likely better off knowing right now that he's not the man you thought he was. do yourself a favor and don't torment yourself by looking at his wall.

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you do nothing. let him be. he may have treated you like his girlfriend, but from what i gather from your story, the two of you never made if official. although it really hurts, you will be fine and likely better off knowing right now that he's not the man you thought he was. do yourself a favor and don't torment yourself by looking at his wall.

 

yea, I know. It's just....everything was THERE.

 

I deleted him from facebook. And eventually deactivated my account so I don't compulsively look at his.

 

Despite it all, he was still one of my best friends. I don't know if he'l come back.

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smart lady.

 

i think it's best that you just stay friends with him (if that's even still possible after this incident). doesn't sound like he would treat you very well as a gf. although you weren't exclusive, as someone who he called a friend, he should not have done you like that. but you've gotta set your own boundaries with people.

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that's what someone else pointed out-that if I did mean the world to him/was one of his best friends, he wouldn't have done what he did.

 

I guess he wanted to talk to me but one of our friends told him not to given how upset I was. He said he didn't want to hurt me any more than he already has.

 

I feel so stupid because I feel a small part of me is waiting for things to not work with this girl.

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Sounds like he played you. I know guys who take pride in the fact that they can get more than one woman in bed with them at once, and they've known these girls for many years. They're just willing to wait and be friendly and essentially make an investment.

 

I don't know this guy, but he sounds like somebody I know who does the same thing. Making lots of female friends and being really friendly to them to weaken their guard and toy with their emotions and vulnerability, especially considering he knows everything about you and your ex. He says what you want to hear.

 

I hate to say it, but some guys are just like that. I really hate them too, cause they know how to make a girl believe in them, and not trust in people who really truly do care.

 

I could be wrong, and he may really be a great guy and all, but from what I can tell, he sounds like a ****.

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I might not even be friends with him. In fact, If it were me I would not. Friends don't treat eachother this way. it is one thing if you decided that you didn't work as gf/bf and decided to stay friends but he as lied to you, and sleeping with different girls in that short of time could be destructive behavior.

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I might not even be friends with him. In fact, If it were me I would not. Friends don't treat eachother this way. it is one thing if you decided that you didn't work as gf/bf and decided to stay friends but he as lied to you, and sleeping with different girls in that short of time could be destructive behavior.

 

that's what i keep going back and forth about....like, maybe in a few months I could do it, but I don't think I could ever trust him again.

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