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Confused. She said she was over us.


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My ex and I have been broken up a long time and we have been friends off and on since. I always in the back of my mind wanted her back (she broke up with me). Well this last year and beginning of this year we have been close friend wise. I started suspecting recently that she was dating someone and it made me feel jealous inside because she would make comments to me sometimes that she'll never find what we had again and would always act jealous of my past ex's.

 

She would always call me everyday and text lots even after we broke up. Well sensing that she may be dating someone now I asked her if she was completely over me and she said yes. I asked her that so I could make completely sure that there was no hope left so I could try and move on.

 

It really helped that I asked her that cause afterwards something clicked and I started making steps to move on finally and deciding that I finally wanted to. Well she wanted me to meet her this last week in a restaurant parking lot so she could give me back my watch she still had and I happened to have a new female friend with me at the time when I met her and she was livid! The anger in her eyes said it all and she said to me "I can't believe you brought someone!" She then sped away. I then got a call from her screaming about how I disrespected her and not to say anything cause she knows I'm still in the car with her, then she said "I have nothing more to say to you!" She then hung up and I have not heard from her.

 

I'm so confused. I asked her that question to see if she was over me and she said she was, now she acts like this when I'm hanging out with someone. What's up with her?

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She is possibly one of those people who, although they don't want an ex, don't want anyone else to have them either. It damages their egos to think that you aren't going to spend the rest of your life heartbroken and pining over them. It's the ultimate in selfishness.

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I have to agree with DN here. She's over you, but she wants to think that she was just *so* special to you, and you loved her *so* much, that you would never be over her, and would always hope for her to come back. It's an ego thing, and like DN said, it's probably the most selfish thing you can do.

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She's jealous but she also didn't expect to find you in the company of another girl. So her jealousy got to her and she blew up. It could be that she isn't over you or she just doesn't want you to be with someone else even if she has no intentions of being with you.

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Wow interesting replies. I was just shocked at her reaction wondering why she would act like that if she was over us. She hasn't seen me with very many females in all the time iv'e known her after we broke up. Arrr.....WOMEN!

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Wow interesting replies. I was just shocked at her reaction wondering why she would act like that if she was over us. She hasn't seen me with very many females in all the time iv'e known her after we broke up. Arrr.....WOMEN!

Not 'women' - just this particular woman. Don't let one weird one prejudice you. There are plenty good ones out there.

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Two possibilities;

 

1. She's a psycho and while she is over you, she doesn't want you to go and experience life and love without her. She is selfish, basically. I'd imagine if her and a girlfriend were having problems, she'll run to you, bump uglies with you, just to hurt her girlfriend and teach her a lesson. Some people are that horrible, I tells ya.

 

2. She isn't over you but either doesn't know it, or knows it and she doesn't want to be not over you. Maybe you hurt her a long time ago, thus why it caused her to break up with you. So when she sees you with another woman, she gets overly jealous and it clicks into her mind that her worst fears have been confirmed- That she isn't over you.

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Very interesting Vergtigo. Maybe she is crazy. In the past I have told her either she's too honest or a compulsive liar, one extreme or another. She did make a comment to me after I asked her if she was over me, and that was that she has told me awhile back that she was over me and that made me feel like I should have known a long time ago or something. Yes, in the past she would come running back to me if her and another girl were fighting for comfort. She was my first love so that is why I've stayed attached for so long.

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Very interesting Vergtigo. Maybe she is crazy. In the past I have told her either she's too honest or a compulsive liar, one extreme or another. She did make a comment to me after I asked her if she was over me, and that was that she has told me awhile back that she was over me and that made me feel like I should have known a long time ago or something. Yes, in the past she would come running back to me if her and another girl were fighting for comfort. She was my first love so that is why I've stayed attached for so long.

 

She does sound unstable... She also lacks moral fiber. She doesn't care if she has to hurt another human being if it means she gets what she wants; A sociopath, none other.

 

Hey, I've been burned by my first love a year ago. This is why I'm here. But I am feeling much, much better lately, even though I get a few bumps on my road to total recovery here and there...

 

But first loves, are just that; A first love. It's nothing special. It may seem like it is, but it's not. Once you get that through your head, it will get easier for you to move on and find another wonderful woman.

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Thanks I sure am glad I asked her if she was over me and got a direct answer. It really is helping me move on. It sucks when your not sure and sometimes as much as you'd rather not know because your afraid of the answer being yes, it's what you need to hear for your emotional well being and to get over it. I'm about tired of analyzing everything she does, but yeah the anger she displayed kinda threw me off.

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Come on, no moral fiber... a sociopath... because she acted impulsively on an emotional response. She may not have even realized she could have such a response but did. A bit immature in her loss of control of emotional response, but no I would not say a sociopath or lacking moral fiber. I think that's a little extreme. She sounds like a passionate woman who lost control for a moment. Who knows? Maybe her response surprised her as much as it surprised her. Sometimes people think they're over someone and they're not. Certain circumstances or change of circumstances can show them otherwise. The heart is not black or white, and certainly not always predictable.

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Yeah. I really didn't think she'd care if I was with someone cause she told me she was over us. Just shocked that she reacted that way. She is being so cold to me and barely talks to me now after talking like everyday. I think sometimes the heart has a mind of its own and is unpredictable.

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