Question for the men (from a woman)

[kerri_nicole]

Basically I want to know what is it guys go for in a female??

 

I feel like I am ready to meet someone now and I am fairly easy going but it has been a hile since I did this so I want to know what attracts a man?? I am young enough (27) with 2 kids on my own and I would jsut like to meet someone fun, good company and a general decent guy!

 

Any advice??

 

Thank you

[Lamprey]

Few things.

 

Initially: looks. He doesn't know you, all he can go by is your looks.

First few months: sense of humor & sex. Fairly simple.

Long-term: personality and relationship potential. Are you easy-going or do you stress easily? Are you clingy or will you let him have some space to call his own? Are you jealous or trusting? Do you let yourself go once you get comfy in the relationship, or do you take care to remain in roughly the same shape you were in when you met?

 

Finally, would you make a good wife or long-term GF? This involves a few things, such as cooking, cleaning, taking care of him (naturally, the expectation here is that he'll do the same for you).

 

I do see one potential problem, however: your children. Most guys your age would probably prefer having their own kids to raising some other man's children, not to mention kids come with baggage. Ex will always be involved, your priority will always be the kids rather than him, etc. But that's not always a deal-breaker, and not for everyone since there are guys who don't mind, or who don't want kids to begin with.

[kerri_nicole]

All good advice, thank you!

[CaptainNapalm]

Just be yourself. It's the best advice I can give you. This way you'll find someone you're totally compatible with and you won't behave in suggestive ways that you pick up from countless of posts here. Sure people can tell you what they look for in a woman but if you have to temporarily shift yourself into possessing those traits you'll attract a man who you won't be able to maintain.

[Little Blue Ant]

I mostly agree, although I'd merge the first few months and long term together. With regards to looks, at least for me, a girl that I'm not necessarily THAT attracted can become much more attractive if her personality is top notch. Sense or humor is a MUST. And being able to have an engaging conversation is also very important. Nothing is more boring than chatting it up (or attempting to) with a chick who has no opinion or thoughts on anything or answers captivating questions with closed responses like "yes" or "no" without any elaboration. If you can't talk, you can't hang with me.

[sweeth tooth cadet]

i like someone who has the similar values, goals, point of view in life. even if the other person has a different waya of living this out or a different way of attain them....

I like a woman who is good company, so when u talk she talks with and doesnst give you responses that indicate no interest. I like someone who i can have fun with not necesarily have the same hobbies but someone who is willing to try tennis even if they never have or someone who will talk about dumb things with you these aare things that usually put me at ease an dusually leave me thinking about a great time i had with someone.

[Little Blue Ant]

Just be yourself. It's the best advice I can give you. This way you'll find someone you're totally compatible with and you won't behave in suggestive ways that you pick up from countless of posts here. Sure people can tell you what they look for in a woman but if you have to temporarily shift yourself into possessing those traits you'll attract a man who you won't be able to maintain.

 

This is the best answer if you're asking what YOU should do. But I think she was just asking us guys our general opinion on what is attractive for us.

[kerri_nicole]

This is the best answer if you're asking what YOU should do. But I think she was just asking us guys our general opinion on what is attractive for us.

Yip sure was, but all god advice from all of you thank you

I have alot of male friends but it is not the same thing.. I like to think I am funny and I always like to laugh, I think thats lifes natural medicine for everything but I am nervous about the whole meething thing or not having that click or jsut turning someone off...

 

Like I said I am easy going not asking for something serious, I just like a genuine nice guy who morals and good conversation!!

[kerri_nicole]

Just be yourself. It's the best advice I can give you. This way you'll find someone you're totally compatible with and you won't behave in suggestive ways that you pick up from countless of posts here. Sure people can tell you what they look for in a woman but if you have to temporarily shift yourself into possessing those traits you'll attract a man who you won't be able to maintain.

I know what your saying and your completely correct

[CaptainNapalm]

This is the best answer if you're asking what YOU should do. But I think she was just asking us guys our general opinion on what is attractive for us.

 

In that case the most attractive characteristics for me are:

 

good character

ambition

zest for life

balanced

sense of humor

 

But my previous advice still stands.

[jul-els]

What attracts a man? Pretty, well groomed, nice smile, friendly, smell good. That's it. Us guys are simple creatures. If you want to know what keeps a man, that's a whole other ball game, but I won't go into it since that's not what you asked.

[kerri_nicole]

What attracts a man? Pretty, well groomed, nice smile, friendly, smell good. That's it. Us guys are simple creatures. If you want to know what keeps a man, that's a whole other ball game, but I won't go into it since that's not what you asked.

Well I am definitely clean and take pride in myself and appearance etc.. I hope I smell good No compliants yet from anyone.. I don't like to think what keeps a man I have not met one yet so not running ahead of myself or being too serious

[Clarity]

Every man will have a different answer.

 

Things that attract me to a girl initially:

 

Looks

Intelligence

Maturity

Smile

[In the Dark]

Looks....number one.

 

First I will see them then go yes or no as whether I will pursue or just simply try to get to know.

 

From their it's their attitude.

If they are full of themselves and fear breaking away from what society deems as acceptable I will not be interested.

 

So in short, looks i find attractive and then personality.

Money and boobs size do not concern me.

 

I your case there is also another factor.

Your kids.

There are men out there who will walk away when they find out you have a ready made family o some other man.

[kerri_nicole]

Looks....number one.

 

First I will see them then go yes or no as whether I will pursue or just simply try to get to know.

 

From their it's their attitude.

If they are full of themselves and fear breaking away from what society deems as acceptable I will not be interested.

 

So in short, looks i find attractive and then personality.

Money and boobs size do not concern me.

 

I your case there is also another factor.

Your kids.

There are men out there who will walk away when they find out you have a ready made family o some other man.

I am not vain nor do I act in any way like that!

 

But yes I have 2 children and that would be a main concern for me too! Not that I am looking for a dad figure or anything like that, they have me and I give them enough for two parents! But its still a big factor and as you said a big put off for some men, but those man I would obviously have no interest in!

[In the Dark]

Lol

 

I'm not insinuating you are vain at all.

In fact, this is the first time I have posted on any of your thread let alone seen you on ENA

 

The kids whittle down the men without trying.

Reason being is they want to be able to have time with just you.

Not you with your children coming up at unexpected times to interrupt.

 

A higher percentage of people male and female do not want a ready made family.

[kerri_nicole]

Lol

 

I'm not insinuating you are vain at all.

In fact, this is the first time I have posted on any of your thread let alone seen you on ENA

 

The kids whittle down the men without trying.

Reason being is they want to be able to have time with just you.

Not you with your children coming up at unexpected times to interrupt.

 

A higher percentage of people male and female do not want a ready made family.

Oh god I know your not saying that I take everything at face value, sorry I probably said it wrong in the last post

I have no interest in anyone meeting my kids for now, I just want som easy going fun, some dates a bit of a laugh and all this not on my kids time. Some me time

[In the Dark]

I have often wonder over this thing about dating someone with a pre-made family.

 

And I think I have an idea why I would be a bit reluctant to date someone with kids.

 

I would feel really guilty if the Mother made them stay with someone else while dating someone.

 

I guess I would like to know the Mother prefers them around, yet i can see it getting in the way of what you say "me" time.

 

It's a tough one for me.

[kerri_nicole]

I have often wonder over this thing about dating someone with a pre-made family.

 

And I think I have an idea why I would be a bit reluctant to date someone with kids.

 

I would feel really guilty if the Mother made them stay with someone else while dating someone.

 

I guess I would like to know the Mother prefers them around, yet i can see it getting in the way of what you say "me" time.

 

It's a tough one for me.

I would personally not want any man meeting my kids as a friend of "mom's" if I was not sure we were getting to something a bit more serious!

 

I mean I like to think at 27 I could still get out every once in a while even if it was only one night or day every 2 weeks or something and maybe share a bit if a laugh with someone, something easy going and fun. All this not interfering in any time with my kids obviously.

 

This is my entire reason for asking this question in the first place..

 

I can see what your saying though.

[Little Blue Ant]

Yip sure was, but all god advice from all of you thank you

I have alot of male friends but it is not the same thing.. I like to think I am funny and I always like to laugh, I think thats lifes natural medicine for everything but I am nervous about the whole meething thing or not having that click or jsut turning someone off...

 

Like I said I am easy going not asking for something serious, I just like a genuine nice guy who morals and good conversation!!

 

Don't worry about turning a guy off being yourself. If you do, then you're not compatible. Big deal. Eventually you'll find a man who likes you are in all your silliness. Those are the best kind of relationships, me thinks.

[kerri_nicole]

Don't worry about turning a guy off being yourself. If you do, then you're not compatible. Big deal. Eventually you'll find a man who likes you are in all your silliness. Those are the best kind of relationships, me thinks.

Very true

[kerri_nicole]

Love this thread!

Getting some good advice!!

[In the Dark]

At 27 you should get out every once and a while.

I' say it also comes down to the guy knowing they will not only be spending timeto get to know you.

 

They WILL need to get to know your children and love your children as much as they love you.

 

They are very much a part of you too.

 

Holidays for example.

 

There will be many times where the children MUST come along.

In my opinion, it's just wrong to leave them with someone else when there maybe some place which is just wrong not to share with them, but at the same time, when it's one of those R18 moments, can't really just say to the kids, hey go over there for 20 minutes to an hour.

[kerri_nicole]

At 27 you should get out every once and a while.

I' say it also comes down to the guy knowing they will not only be spending timeto get to know you.

 

They WILL need to get to know your children and love your children as much as they love you.

 

They are very much a part of you too.

 

Holidays for example.

 

There will be many times where the children MUST come along.

In my opinion, it's just wrong to leave them with someone else when there maybe some place which is just wrong not to share with them, but at the same time, when it's one of those R18 moments, can't really just say to the kids, hey go over there for 20 minutes to an hour.

My kids will always come first and will ever ever be left with anyone just so mammy can go out!!

I think if I was to ever get serious with a man then at that stage I would of sussed out was he acceptable to me children, was he going to love my children like I do and was he serious about my kids.

 

I have all that in my head but to even atempt to get to that I have to meet someone. I would like to think I am a pretty good judge of character and an honest person so I would be up front and clear about everything.

[In the Dark]

Thats where I'm stuck.

 

Even though i do not have kids, I will always put my kids with the package.

Not to neglect when getting know the new person.

But i don't see how this works.

 

How things become romantic and intimate, when I would have a child going "Daddy....daddy.....

Daddy I need to go to the toilet....."

 

Interrupting getting to know conversation.

 

I guess that is what makes me kind of iffy dating someone with a child.

I have thought about it a fair bit as many of the women who have had a child have also seemed to have gotten of their "I'm all that" high horse.....

 

I really don't go for women who are conceited.

But where I live, like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

Or they just want a **** er I meant "fling" but that's getting off topic.

I don't know if it's to do with the fact they feel less sought after because they have a child to someone else or not.

 

But it is one thing I have definitely noticed.