In love but dont know if i should say I love you FIRST

[lytung]

Hello everyone,

 

I need some advice...i have been dating this guy for 7 months now...in the beginning everything was perfect, he was wonderful, and i love being with him....last month he went on a trip for 3 weeks and i really felt that i missed him and wanted to tell him that i love him when he came back, but I didn't....instead i pulled back my emotions a bit to see if he would get closer, but instead he pulled back as well.

 

I have met his family after few months of dating him, and almost all his friends. I dont think he doesn't want to commit to me...but yet i feel that he's holding back on those 3 little words, and feeling that he's afraid of us getting too close.

 

i am in love with him, but he still hasn't said that he loves me. I dont want to risk saying " i love you " first if he isn't ready, or if he doesn't say it back..I would feel devastated. I feel this is important for me that he tells me so because it makes me feel secured...i am somewhat insecured about relationships...I know in the past his gf cheated on him and hurt him badly, dont know if that's the reason why he wont open up too much.

 

Some of my friends say i should ask him about how he feels about me, others think i should be patient and wait it out. What are your advices? I feel that because i pulled back, and he has also, things have been kind awkward between us and we need to have a talk about where we stand, but dont know how to start, and certainly dont want to push him even more that he would be totally scared that he would not talk and be in his cave. I dont know if i am making sense to you guys.

 

HELP!!!

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

 

You should always just be yourself. And you should always express how you are feeling. Lay your cards on the table, and let love do the rest.

 

 

 

Warm Regards

 

Kuhl

 

8)

[lytung]

being yourself is good at a different stage of the relationship....what happened to the "game" of dating that we all have to play in the beginning?

[goddess23]

well me n my bf have been going out for 7 months now as well. but we knew eachother for years before dealing. and probably about 3 months into the relationship i knew i really loved him. i wanted to tell him many times, but i wasnt sure when. so i waited it out. i mean i was the first to admit i liked him, because hes really shy, so i don't know how long i intended on waiting, but i just thought when the moment is right ill say it. and one day he walked me home and we kissed and he told me he loved me, and i replied it back. it was wonderful. but i wasn't going to wait forever, if the moment is right, like the one you described, i would go for it. but since that moment has passed i would wait it out for now. but if you ever feel that sudden rush, i would advise that you say it. at least you can be clear on where you stand, and let him know where you stand.

 

so don't wait forever for him, just do it when it feels right. and i know its hard to think that he may not say it, but even if he doesnt RIGHT AWAY, he may just be shocked. but the worst that will happen is that you will know how he feels, and if you still want to be in the relationship.

 

you know what, when i asked him when he knew he loved me, he said a time before we even started going out. so he may be dying to say it as well. saying it first is not that bad. i was the first to say i liked him, and he didnt answer me at first, he thought it was a dare lol. so dont worry, its just a sweet thing to look forward to, whether it comes from your mouth or his!

[emmykins]

Tell him, hun, it's your only option. Not telling him will wind you up so much that it ends up getting in the way of your relationship. You've been together for a long time and i believe WHOLEHEARTEDLY that he feels the same, so please tell him.