So frustrated/angry, do I have the right to be?

[sarah898]

This is kind of a major vent but my ex and I have been separated for almost 6 months now and for the most part we get along really well and still have a sexual r'ship with the understanding that neither of us want it to become anything more than that (apart from a friendship of course).

 

What really bugs me is that he has these little off-periods where he treats me like trash, is just really cold with me and standoffish for no reason whatsoever. I feel like I have the right to be annoyed at this because I make a really big effort to be a supportive friend. I just don't get it, normally we get along perfect but it's just every so often he acts like this for a day or two and then acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about when I mention it!

 

I don't want to throw away our friendship because of the good in it but I feel like I'm at breaking point and don't know how to overcome this problem.

[Maya_A]

Did he do that while you were dating also, or did it just start when you broke up?

[sarah898]

It's only started happening in the last three months or so, I have no idea what triggered it.

[AlphaFemme]

It's time to stop sleeping together and actually move on. If a new guy treated you this way, would you keep hooking up? If you honestly don't want this guy back, why are you tolerating it now?

[sarah898]

I don't know...when friends are going through a rough patch I stick with them through thick and thin, so on one hand I feel that that applies to him, but on the other hand since I have no idea where this rough patch came from I feel like I deserve more respect or at least an explanation.

 

I don't want to tolerate it but I don't know if I can throw just throw away the friendship since it began before we started dating.

[Maya_A]

Alphafemme raises good points.

 

There is a "danger" in what you are doing in that in the ex FWB situation, sometimes one party is agreeing to it because they still have romantic feelings & do not want to break up (is this you?), while the other is doing it simply not to lose the pleasure of physical sex, and doesn't really feel romantically involved emotionally.

 

The imbalance will cause pain for one of course.

 

If you do not really want a relationship with him, I'd say just what was already said. Stop sleeping with him & move on. Even if you did want to see if anything can be salvaged -- ditto to quit sleeping with him.

 

If he is treating you as you describe like "trash" at times and you continue to be intimate with him, that is telling him it is ok to disrespect you. I was wondering if he went through periods of feeling depressed, but you said this has only started happening within the last 3 months.

 

To act that way 3 months after breaking up -- it seems like he could "take it or leave it" type thing, or that he may be questioning the FWB....

[HeartGoesOn]

You're agreeing to sleep with an "ex" after breaking up. Do youreally expect him to treat you like you're still in a relationship? You're only fooling yourself by saying that you don't want to throw away the frienship, and how can he have real respect for you since you're settling for a few crumbs?